Greetings guys, gals, and non-binary pals and welcome back to another video!
I hope that you are well and I hope that you are fighting because there is a lot to be fighting for.
I am here today with a video that has been long requested from me...
Um, it's something a little bit more wholesome, because...
I need some healing.
You need some healing. We all need some healing.
Um, and so... yeah.
I'm gonna do something a little bit- a little bit different today.
And that is going through the Reddit, which is r/aaaaaaccccccce
There's not very much representation for asexual people, uh within the Queer community or outside of it.
So a lot of people have been asking me to do it and so I thought that I would.
Um, yeah. So let's share the asexual love!
That's actually a very good way of phrasing that.
That's a really good point.
I've never thought to put it like that, but that's like...
Yeah, you're right. Absolutely. You're absolutely correct.
Wholesome. That's cute. That's very cute.
I really enjoyed that meme, that's really lovely.
I feel like it must be, you know- Yeah, it's- it's kind of difficult finding asexual people because, like,
I think there are a lot more asexual people than we realize,
But asexuality is a very complicated and nuanced thing, right?
There's so many different, like, flavours of asexual, you know?
So it's really hard to- to be able to reflect on yourself and figure it out,
Because a lot of people have romantic attraction but no sexual attraction.
Or, you know, if sexual attraction is not something you've ever experienced but you've been told you're meant to,
You might get that confused with romantic attraction or aesthetic attraction.
Like... you don't know what sexual attraction feels like until maybe one day you're like,
"Hold on, am I- Wait... Am I not feeling the thing? Are we meant to be thinking that?"
That's why Reddit's like this are good.
Because sometimes people can figure stuff out by reading the memes, you know?
Anyway. It's cute.
My favourite thing about this subreddit is the amount of memes that I just found bread.
More specifically, garlic bread.
I don't know why that's a thing but I love that that's a thing.
I love- I love that that's something you have. It's brilliant. I love it.
"Garlic bread is better than people" I mean, you're not wrong.
Where's the lie?
My problem with this one though, is this one's not garlic bread, this is just bread with butter.
And I am morally opposed to that.
I really don't like butter on my bread.
I don't put it on my bread. I don't put it on my toast.
You can eat the butter with the spoon, I'll eat- I'll shovel the bread into my mouth.
Teamwork.
And they're freakin- equal. Having a good time.
I've never considered this relationship dynamic before.
And I think it's really cool that people like do this and make it work.
Because, I think that having like different romantic and sexual attraction is not something that people talk about enough.
And so a lot of people must feel really invalid in that.
Being like, a biromantic lesbian must be really difficult because like you're gonna be invalidated by so many people.
It's gonna- It must be really hard to figure out and come to terms with and like be accepted for.
And finding like, a partner who's also understanding of that is also really cool.
And I love that this is a thing that people...
Are exploring and able to like have fulfilling and satisfying relationships.
So, I'm really happy that you found a partnership that works and it's really cool.
And I'm sure is really like helpful and inspiring for other like people with differing romantic and sexual attractions to see-
To see that they are able to actually date all the people they're attracted to and don't necessarily have to have sex with them in order to have a fulfilling relationship.
I think it's really cool and I love that for you.
I think a lot of people, you know, think that sex is like a requirement for our relationship to be fulfilling.
And that isn't true.
Obviously, you can have a sexless relationship and have it be completely fulfilling.
That is totally cool.
For starters, some asexual people do not mind having sex and they will have sex, they just don't feel sexual attraction, you know?
They don't have like the desire to have sex but they're not like opposed to sex.
That's not everyone, that's some people.
Obviously in this relationship that's not happening, because she's not into men, not sexually into men which is completely valid!
Fair enough.
Um, but if you are in a relationship with someone and you are one partner who wants to have sex and are with someone who doesn't, that's cool!
But if you are with someone who is not interested in sex, but you are and want just like...
Alone time, you know, to fulfill that need for yourself.
Uh, then I have a suggestion for you.
You can use Cheex!
Cheex is a subscription-based sexual wellness platform,
That grants its members access to a whole range of adult films and tutorials, erotic audio stories, expert-led tutorials on sexual wellness, and a taboo-breaking magazine.
And it's such an incredible website with all the things that it provides because,
Obviously that's quite a large range,
Um, but the main reason that I love Cheex is because it is an ethical platform.
But everyone who is involved in creating on Cheex is consenting to being there.
Um, they're doing only things that they've signed up for and are consenting to doing.
They've been given like, safe working environments, they're always paid for their work, and they're paid fairly.
They don't have to do anything that they don't want to do, they are never asked to do anything that's outside of their comfort zone.
It also has representation for people of like all shapes and sizes, different races, different sexualities, different abilities....
There's representation for pretty much everyone, which is super cool and I love that.
So, overall it's just a really cool platform.
I am a very big believer in paying for your adult content,
Because a lot of the time there is content that is like, stolen, it's non-consensual, it's hurting a lot of people.
You need to pay people for their work and Cheex does that, which I think is...
Great. Very important. Obviously.
A lot of the content on Cheex is also like homemade and self-directed,
So it's much more, like, real than a lot of content you find in other places which is also really cool.
And it can be very validating uh, because you know they're keeping the giggles...
Yeah, so if Cheex is something that you are interested in, uh,
Whether to use by yourself...
And just have some alone time,
Or watch with a partner and learn together and figure out what you like together,
Then I highly recommend it.
If you use the link in my description and use the code THEQUEERKIWI14 when signing up for an annual subscription,
You will get your first two weeks completely free.
And if it's not for you, then you can cancel at any time during that period and it won't renew.
After that it is only £14.90 per month on a monthly subscription,
Or if you carry on with the annual subscription after the 14 days runs out, it is only £9.90 a month.
So thank you so much Cheex for sponsoring this video. It's always a pleasure working with you.
Now, before getting back into the video really quick I just want to say here,
Because obviously I just put a- like a sex ad in the middle of an asexual video.
And I don't know if people are going to react well to that. So I would like to put a little disclaimer here to go back to say, you know,
Not all asexual people are sex repulsed.
Um, I know some asexual people enjoy watching porn and engaging in self-pleasure,
But just have no interest in engaging in like actual sex having.
And then there are other asexual people who are not interested in sex at all to any capacity.
Um, and both of those are very valid.
Like I said, asexuality is a massive spectrum.
And there are also people who are like demisexual who don't experience sexual attraction towards someone until they formed an emotional connection.
So this video is for all asexual people.
If you're upset by me putting a sex ad in the middle of it, I would like to apologize.
But I do think it is important to talk about sex in relation to asexuality, uh,
Because that is an underrepresented part of the asexual community.
People seem to put asexual as meaning one thing and that's like...
Sex repulsed,
And that's just not true for probably would be a majority of the asexual community.
But I can't speak on that myself, obviously
Um, but if it's something that's upset you, please let me know and I will just make note of that in the future.
Now, listen.
I- When I read this yesterday I also went through an...
Ohhhh moment, because I- same.
I- I always imagine just like a milkshake party, I'm not gonna lie.
I- This makes- this makes sense.
But a milkshake party is cooler.
No one knew it was about boobs, we all thought it was about milkshakes, right?
I'm pretty sure we all thought it was about milkshakes.
Absolutely. I agree.
Because, as we've discussed already, um, asexuality is very misunderstood and very invalidated.
Including by people in the queer community.
Especially when they are heteroromantic, or heterosexual people experiencing aromantic or asexual attraction- well lack of attraction.
Because, you know, people like to invalidate people and people don't believe asexuality is real.
And it's like, "You just haven't found the right person yet."
We've all heard that regarding our own sexualities.
Leave asexual people alone. Shut up. Let them live.
They- They are quite invalidated quite often because it's something that people don't understand.
Shut up. Leave them alone. Welcome them with open arms, alright?
Because they're a part of this community too.
This is the, like, man holding out his hand to the butterfly meme.
This must be so confusing. It must be really hard trying to figure out your sexuality and stuff,
When you like- Obviously if you've never experienced sexual attraction before, you don't know that you're lacking it.
You must just think that that's what this is, you know what I mean?
I often question this myself honestly, because like...
Sex is boring.
Like half the time I'm like, "Yeah! This feels like a good idea! This is great!"
And then I get there and then I'm just like... "Okay but like can I go home now?"
I-I'm just not feeling it, ever.
Like 99% of the time I'm just bored and I want to go home.
Um, but it's- the build up is fun.
You know, the the flirting and stuff, that's fun and like it feels good sometimes. It's...
Uh, but then I question mine, you know?
Like, is it trauma? See this is- I don't know.
It's very confusing. Asexuality is something that I do think about sometimes because,
Obviously I have a lot of sexual trauma and I don't know-
My hypersexuality is definitely related to trauma
But I don't know if my like, lack of enjoying sex is related to trauma or just the lack of enjoying sex, you know?
It's a difficult one to figure out.
I don't need to add anything to that. I think that that's just an important thing to put out there.
This is what I'm talking about! You guys must get invalidated all the f_cking time.
I'm so sorry. I will come freaking punch the acephobes when they're talking to you.
People can appreciate people without being sexually attracted to them. I know it's a f_cking shocker, but like...
It's kind of like, you know, there are straight women who are like, "Wow, that woman over there is really f_cking beautiful."
She's not in love with her, she's not gonna go have sex with her, she just thinks she's pretty.
Like bro, this is like the same men who think that saying another man is like attractive makes them gay.
Like, no, it f_cking doesn't. They just have eyes.
Like, we know what an- attractive people look like.
You- You can think someone is like beautiful without wanting to have sex with them.
That's a really fun fact for you.
Um, I- I just thought that you should know that.
Not everything is about sex, or, like being attracted to someone.
You can appreciate someone without wanting to f_ck them.
I'm going to end this video here because it is ATEEZ comeback day.
And so I've got to go listen to their new song, watch their new music video, and then stream it all day.
So, I'm gonna go do that.
I highly recommend you all go do that too.
Uh, yeah. Stan ATEEZ.
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I hope that you enjoy the rest of your day.
Stay safe. Keep fighting. I love you.