THEME SONG: We've been going through changes.
We've been going through changes.
[SNAP]
[THEME MUSIC]
CAMILLE: Yep, yep, yep, yep.
Get in there.
Yep, yep yep, yep, yep.
It's like she's allergic to being sexy or cool in any way.
CAMILLE: I'm so glad we're doing this.
I can't think of a better way to start this year than thoga
with my girls at my gym.
You know, thoga is--
Thick yoga.
Yes, we know.
It wasn't poppin' when you said it the first time.
But I'm surprised you picked this class.
You know there's Twerk Tabata happening next door.
Yeah.
You never miss a chance to throw it in a circle.
This is bigger than my left or right cheek, y'all.
According to the free trial on this app
I just downloaded, yoga is about balance, alignment,
leaning in and moving forward.
And that's why we're here.
To move forward once and for all.
Well, I am loving this new and evolved you.
I've got four years of tension I need to release.
And this year, new job, new administration,
and new levels of impending crazy in this country.
Plus, Walter and I had quite the therapy session last week
and my mom is being her usual self.
Shavasana, take me away.
I second that.
Let the healing begin.
Now, Staci this will be completely
out of your comfort zone.
You know you like to be in control
and the center of atten--
STACI: Attention, attention.
What's happening?
Good evening, white women.
We are here at your tribal gathering place, yoga,
to deliver a message.
We-- - Oh--
--my God.
Do you recall what happened on the night
of November something, 2016?
Well, the internet does and it says that 53% of y'all made
a real interesting choice.
And then you march on Washington snot crying
like it wasn't an inside job.
The lies!
You promised change in 2020, but then whoa 55%
of y'all showed y'all asses.
Now I know a lot of y'all are married to white men,
my condolences, so I get it.
You're ride or die.
Maybe insurrection insurrections are hitting on something.
We've all been caught up.
I get it, but when it comes what you promised at that march
and what you did in 2020, I'll tell you
what my grandma Nora told me.
If you got to hide it, don't abide it.
She was talking about my ex, Laquathan,
but the [CLAPPING] message applies here too.
- Laquathan. - I remember him.
He was a mess.
Meanwhile, Black women showed up and showed out.
Why?
Because we nama-stay ready.
But Black women are tired.
We gave you cornrows and everything the Kardashians do.
What else do you want from us?
Do better, white women.
If not for us, then for your vaginas.
Do it for your vaginas.
Now, y'all have a perfectly mediocre class.
Don't make me have to come back here in four years.
OK, bye.
Is this awkward silence or just the regular yoga kind?
Oh, it's definitely awkward.
And then she ran off and left me and Sara
to do Warrior Pose one, two and three
as not aggressively as possible.
Not to mention, one of the women owns the restaurant
I'm having my mom's private birthday
dinner at tomorrow night.
And the tuna tartar cannot reek of microaggressions.
[LAUGHS]
It's not funny.
I'm sorry, but yes.
Yes it is
I'm just laughing at thoga.
It's remarkably bad.
Well don't laugh too hard, because y'all are next.
Yeah, Black men.
The hell is wrong with y'all?
Another surprise attack.
How delightful.
Care to expound?
Ice Cube, 50 Cent, Kanye.
What are plus size wrappers, Alex?
RIP to the big [INAUDIBLE].
He really was the GOAT.
The King of Categories.
Canadians are just better people.
That country really has given us some jewels.
Drake, Deborah Cox.
Keanu Reeves.
Tamia.
Cree Summer.
Well, Cree was born in LA, but she was
raised in a province in Canada.
Back to this category.
Black men in the 2020 election.
White men and white women had each other's backs
at the polls.
They were in formation.
Meanwhile, Lil Wayne and his three-matted dreads spit
lean in the faces of Black women everywhere.
OK, while that might be a bit dramatic and disgusting,
she's hitting on something.
Black men and Black women have been
voting differently, even more so after the past four years.
Why? - Damn, I'm ashy.
What's the disconnect?
Did I leave the house like this?
Well, if we look beyond the sensational headlines,
this isn't some new phenomenon.
Black men have long had a relationship with the GOP.
Men in general are more likely to vote Republican.
I think a better question in regards to the past eight years
is when are Black men going to own up
to the ways we participated in sexist and white supremacist
behavior? - Yeah.
That's what I meant.
The bottom line is there are Black men who are men first.
They make bank, they're conservatives
and they align with whoever represents their own values,
not their race or their women.
That's why you saw Black men sprinkled in at the Capitol.
Trump appealed to the least of us.
And they are the least of us.
Two things can be true.
A majority of Black men vote Democrat,
but we're also twice as likely than Black women
to vote Republican.
I didn't hear you mention how more Black women
voted Republican in 2020.
They were at the Capitol too.
I don't know that.
I hear you, but it's hard to feel confident we're all
equally invested in moving forward when too many of us
are worried about who's beside us.
If Black men are men first and white women are white first,
who does that constantly leave on the front lines?
What will it take for this country to unite around us?
Will Smith, Vivica Fox and a whole damn alien invasion.
It will take the one thing we never
seem to want to invest, time.
In the moment of crisis, the wise build bridges
and the foolish build dams.
We're building bridges, babe.
It's not fair to those that have been doing the work all along,
but we all got to get over.
Well we got an AKA in the White House
so I'll twerk on that bridge.
And if it gets us to the bigger bridge of reparations,
I guess I'll stop giving random white women the stank eye.
I give it three hours.
You know, it feels so safe in here, so hopeful.
I've got a good man who sees me, values
me, considers me his equal.
Yeah, yeah. Get a room.
But the minute I turn the corner or turn on the news,
it's welcome back patriarchy.
One bridge at a time, babe.
We'll make it over.
Damn right, we will.
Now go get your men another drink.
Now why would he say that?
It was a joke. You know what,
Really?
I'm going to go make you drink.
What do you what do you want?
Like a Margarita?
I'm going to go with a Margarita.
Does he know how vaginas work?
[WHISTLING]
Ooo, wee.
It is the patty cakes for me.
Hmm.
Probably one of them snap-on booties.
You couldn't keep up with me 30 years ago.
Dream on, old man.
Well I'll be damned.
Professor Layla Wales Roberts.
Earl.
Yeah, it's been a while.
Huh.
It's good to see you.
Of course it is.
Hmm.
I haven't aged a bit and you, well
judging by that belly and the orange tint in your eyes,
there's a party in your pillbox every night.
Yeah and you still ain't got no ass.
Actually, I'm surprised to see you here.
Didn't know you ate food, just the hopes and dreams of men.
And I see your wit disappeared right along with your virility.
I was just doing a bit of last minute shopping.
It's my birthday, you know.
Hey, so it is.
That ought to make you, what, nearly dead, right?
Well, happy birthday and not too many more.
I'm just picking up a few things for the house myself
before I head on over to get the vaccine.
The vaccine?
You-- you're getting it?
Hell yeah.
Aren't you?
Oh, come on now.
Don't tell me you're scared, fancy pants, tenured professor.
Scared of modern medicine.
That strong, Black woman done got a little soft, huh?
As a fancy, tenured professor of sociology,
I'm just a bit more apprehensive given this country's
history of experimentation.
But given your zest for all things questionable,
please have your fill of the insufficiently vetted vaccine.
Riddle me this, bat woman.
How's it supposed to be sufficiently
vetted if people don't take it?
Huh, Layla?
Hospitals and health care workers
have been overrun for a year.
By the time I hit the checkout line,
10 people will have died from it.
So excuse me for trying to do the right thing.
Oh.
Oh, did you hear this?
Earl is interested in doing the right thing.
I hate this job.
Tell me, how is your lack of discretion these days?
Her name is Staci, as you well know.
And she's good.
She's working, got herself a nice young man.
How wonderful.
You know, I haven't seen her in, what, 22 years when her mother
brought her to our doorstep in the wee
hours of the night demanding child
support from my faithful husband.
Oh, here we go.
What do you want me to say, Layla?
What do you want me to do, Layla?
Huh?
It's been over 25 years.
You want me to say I was hoe?
O-OK.
I was I hoe.
Attention Bluff City employees and grocery shoppers,
I was a hoe.
Oh hoe, aisle three.
They sell those here?
You got a hoe on aisle three.
Does this make you feel better?
Oh Earl, always so over the top.
I can only imagine the antics after your toddler
lost his precious little White House.
You mean after they stole it?
Did you scale the walls of the Capitol
like a World War Z zombie spreading stupid everywhere?
Damn fool.
You know, during the divorce, you
yelled the whole time about what's right, what's fair.
I guess that only applies when it's something
you want, like my Cadillac.
Oh, that old thing?
I haven't seen it in years.
I gave it to my brother the second I got the keys.
Wait, Richard?
Richard?
You gave my 1997 Cadillac Eldorado Biarritz to Richard?
He was on heroin!
Deeply.
Come to think of it, I never saw that car again.
I'm certain a raccoon's giving birth in your backseat right
now.
Her amniotic fluids should mix nicely
with the dried prostitute spit that vehicle has undoubtedly
collected throughout the years.
But the important thing is that Richard is clean now and made
better decisions as a dope fiend than you
have in your entire life.
Now I really must go.
I'll tell our daughter I saw you.
Have an awful day.
Well you-- ah--
damn, she's still fine.
Happy birthday, mom.
Happy birthday, Layla.
Happy birthday, girl.
You are an exquisite 65.
Sorry we couldn't do candles.
The restaurant doesn't allow blowing right now.
They did in the 80s in more ways than one.
Mother!
I'm just saying, I hope they deep
cleaned the place, especially that booth over there.
Gross.
Did you enjoy your day, Layla?
I know pandemic birthdays can be challenging.
Walter and I had to throw the boys' 18th behind a Mapco.
The people at gas stations are not OK.
Oh it's been lovely.
It would have been all the more lovely
if I hadn't run into that man.
Can you believe he had the gall to--
Mom, come on.
It's your birthday.
I got this baby.
Layla, I didn't get tested twice this week,
put on heels for the first time in 10 months
and leave my good fine man at home
to sit and hear you bad mouth your hoe of an ex-husband
all night when you've had two other whole husbands
and a brow lift since him.
Just say you hate him and eat your damn cake
so we can go live on Facebook and stun on these old wenches
who look their age.
I don't hate him, Naomi.
I hate what he did.
What all men do.
What's that, you ask?
Did we ask?
Did not ask.
Indulge.
Whether it tears apart their family or the stomach lining,
they do it with no regard.
That man 30 years ago maybe.
Or maybe even 12% last year.
But not all, Mom.
Where's this coming from?
Ain't it obvious?
She bitter.
Mom, stop.
Excuse me, Naomi?
You are bitter, Layla.
And you're stuck up too.
If you were on my block back in [INAUDIBLE],,
oh honey, there would have been problems.
[INAUDIBLE],, I got through a crack epidemic that
nearly tore my world apart.
You could get past the disappointment of Earl
and his little raggedy erectile dysfunctional penis.
Sorry, Camille.
Now you got to move past this, girl.
Whether it's white men, white women, your man, or your man's
politics, we got it tough.
But we've come too far for you to be stinky lipping it
over your 65th birthday cake.
Boss up, Professor.
Forward march.
You know what's funny?
I was in a great mood this morning.
Literally humming with life.
I was thinking how fortunate am I?
I have my friends, my family, my career, my life.
I'm respected.
I'm loved and I look amazing.
No really, but my body is magnificent.
This morning I had a mirror between my--
No more talk of my parents' body parts tonight.
Thank you.
I am a fortunate woman.
I feel it every single day I draw breath.
And then I turn the corner in a grocery store
and suddenly I can't breathe.
And none of this seemed to matter.
He was the love of my life and he nearly destroyed me.
How does one move forward after that?
Earl was the love of your life?
Oh my God.
Mom, I didn't know you felt that way about Dad.
Well, how could you not know?
So I was talking to dad the other day--
I hate him.
Oh that's just passion.
But it may be time to pull it back.
It started to affect the way I treat my students.
Liar!
You are a sorcerer of deception, you unscrupulous mongrel.
Mhm.
Well I support you.
You know, I always wondered if this day would come.
I felt stuck in the middle for a long time,
always careful to choose my words,
never bringing up you-know-who.
You can say her name.
Staci.
My sister, Staci.
You know, I think you like her.
Let's not get carried away, but consider yourself unstuck.
You won't ever have to choose because we're
all on the same side.
Because stinky lipping it on my 65th is indeed not a good look.
And because there's breath in me yet to move on.
Plus, I look--
--you look good.
Yeah, we know.
You look amazing.
Well, here's a toast.
To a new year, new chances to get it right,
new opportunities, to building bridges,
getting over and moving forward.
To the newness of us all.
Cheers!
Forward march.
Like a boss.
THEME SONG: We've been going through changes.
We been going through changes.
I see all the angles.
Icy on my fingers.
They don't speak my language.
[WHISTLING]
Mm, mm, mm.
Same time next week, baby?
If you think you can handle it.
I always do.
Oh, and, Earl?
Be prepared for round three next time.
Mm-hmm.
Give me some bigger damn towels next time.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[SCRATCHING]