- Today, we're back at it to review your favorite web comic,
Cyanide & Happiness for the third time.
(bell twinkling) Yep, that's right.
We're going to be learning about
and breaking down some of the crazy medical type situations
and injuries that have happened in this dark comedy show,
but before we get into it,
if you're new to my channel, welcome.
My name is Dr. Jordan Wagner.
If you enjoy the educational reaction videos
and other stuff that you see here on this channel,
please do me a favor and smash that Subscribe button
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All right, let's dive right in.
- Looks like you're a little behind on your vaccinations.
Let's go ahead and get you up to date.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Sorry, doc, I have a thing about needles.
- You know how many people I see
that have eight million tattoos,
but they can't take a shot because of a needle?
I'm like, wait a minute.
- Listen, just go ahead, relax, close your eyes
and we'll make this as easy as possible.
- When we do needles, we do procedures we warn your brain
and use mental imagery to get into a good place
and actually it's been proven to help.
Now who likes needles?
Nobody likes needles.
Sometimes it hurts when we're trying to find a vein
and that's because every vein has a nerve running with it.
- Okay.
- [Doctor] All righty, Janet, is he ready?
- Sure is, boss man.
(Jordan laughing)
- What is this?
- Bad news, Brian.
- Oh my gosh.
We have something called hard restraints
and soft restraints.
Soft restraints are what you would think
like soft little cuffs.
Hard restraints are just a little bit harder
that have buckles to it, but they're not chained.
They're actually Velcroed to the bed.
The only other time that we see somebody chained to the bed
is if they're arrested and they're handcuffed to the bed.
- This particular shot is injected optically.
- What the (beep) are you talking about?
(Jordan laughs) - Right in your eye (beep).
I can't even do it faster, I might go too deep.
I might hit the nerves in the back and make you go blind.
- Oh my God, amazing.
- Yeah.
Let's go real slow.
- Injections in the eye, you think they're crazy,
but they're actually a real thing.
If somebody has macular degeneration,
the blood vessels in the back of the eye
are not functioning the way they should,
you can actually get something called
an Avastin injection into the eye.
So the ophthalmologist, the eye surgeon,
will inject this medication
through the white part of the eye, into the globe,
which is the rounder part of the eye
and inject the medicine in there.
- Jesus, please no.
- Well, I guess we could go anally.
(Jordan laughs)
Yeah, let's just do both.
- No, (indistinct) eyeball.
- So one of the worst injections actually
or discomforting is penicillin into the buttocks.
A lot of times, the only way to treat syphilis
is a penicillin injection and it hurts
'cause it's like thick and viscous.
What kind of ball needle anal injection.
No, that doesn't exist.
That's horrible.
- Okay, hold still.
- The fact that the doctor is like happy.
Oh, gosh
Oh, good gosh.
- No.
- And we're done.
(Jordan laughs) - That's so messed up.
- Now, that wasn't so bad, was it?
- What the hell man?
- Bet you're not scared of arm needles anymore, are you?
- Oh, my gosh.
- And here's your (indistinct)
for the little (indistinct) cat.
- Goodbye little baby.
- It had to be the eye where the...
It's actually pretty interesting.
When you actually injure yourself,
you don't have pain right away.
It's when you look at it and notice it
and then you tell your brain that you got the injury,
that the pain actually starts.
It's very interesting.
And sometimes we will do distractive techniques
to be able to help the patient not feel pain.
So it is appropriate, but that was messed up.
- His spinal disease has progressed faster than anticipated.
We thought he had a few months,
but it's looking more like a few weeks.
There is good news however,
the Make Wishes Come True Foundation made it today
and they brought along a very special friend.
- This is so sad.
- Coming through.
I've got a brave little boy to beat.
- No way.
- Who is this guy?
- Marcus Speeding Bullet Broadway.
- Nice.
- In the flesh and bones little hero.
I'm told by my friends at Make Wishes Come True
that you have a very special request
for your favorite wrestler in the whole world today.
- I want you (coughs) to beat me to death.
- (laughs) Oh man, that's not cool.
He got some debilitating spinal disease.
He is moving around pretty well and now he's coughing.
If you're having a spinal disease,
you're interfering with the nerves,
not working with the diaphragm as well.
You could develop pneumonia
'cause you're not clearing things out
and not breathing as well as you should.
Does that make sense?
- The (beep) you say?
- I want you to give me the Bullet Buster.
I want you to break my bones with the Bullet Time Press.
I wanna go out my way with style.
- (indistinct) The contract, he's got to do it.
- I'm ready Speeding Bullet,
release me from this mortal coil.
- Okay, little hero.
(bones cracking)
- What?
(Bullet crying)
(bones cracking)
Oh my gosh.
(Jordan laughing)
What?
- Don't make me.
- This is not cool.
- Bullet buster.
(bones cracking)
- I'm cured.
- Nice, I knew that was gonna happen.
- I'm alive and I'm cured.
- Oh my gosh.
Okay, the injuries, you smash him in his face.
You can have something called the Le Fort fractures
to the face itself.
These are fractures, eye trauma, brain trauma,
cervical fractures from the whiplash then takes the chair.
Okay, the steel chair.
Say the head, and that could probably kill somebody,
if you really hit them with a steel chair
and smash their skull in
and then the backbreaker
or whatever movie you wanna call it,
if he's got a debilitating spinal disease
causing a fracture to the spinal column,
it's not going to fix it.
Doctors will actually rebreak a bone to reset it.
- And that should do it.
Back on your own two legs so to speak.
- Who's this doc?
- I don't know.
- He's got a wooden leg.
- It seems a little outdated.
- Nonsense.
That's the finest mahogany double coated with sealant,
guaranteed against termites for five years.
- Well, okay I guess.
- Yeah, awesome.
- Off you go.
- Nowadays the advancement of prosthetic that we can use.
There's plastics, there's metals,
there's different links to your spinal columns, your brain.
The fact they're using mahogany wood,
that's triple coated, double coated doesn't exist.
Look at that weird prosthetic.
Oh, my gosh, they'll break his other leg.
- I don't know doc, it just seems a little extreme
for a broken bone.
- Well, you should have told me that
before you regained consciousness.
It's a little too late now.
This is real old world craftsmanship pal.
Now, get out of here buddy.
- Come on, somebody breaks a leg,
you have to get some x-rays, put it in a splint,
allow it to heal itself.
Now, if you have bad broken bones that are shattered,
we call it comminuted.
Most of the times they'll put a,
it's called intramedullary rod.
So it's basically a big piece of metal
that goes straight through the middle of the bone
where the bone marrow is and keeps the bone structure
and it allows the bone to kind of grow around it.
- Today's the big day.
We're just about ready for your brain surgery.
- Okay.
- Your mother told me that you played guitar.
It would be really helpful
if you could play for us while we operate,
that way you can let us know that you're well still you.
- Wow, if you're having brain surgery,
there are instances where you're actually are awake.
So the brain itself is insensate.
So they may knock you out, do the incision,
open up the skull
and then actually bring you out of anesthesia
to be able to see the different functions of the brain
because the brain is pretty much mapped out
to where we know what the functions are.
There are instances where they will
touch different spots of the brain
and see if things move or there are sensations
or weird smells.
- You think you can do that for me?
- Sure.
- That's the spirit.
(heavy metal music) (Jordan laughs)
- Yes.
(machine beeping)
Oh, what happened?
(heavy metal music)
Oh, my gosh.
(Jordan laughs)
(machine beeping)
Nice, (indistinct).
(heavy metal music)
(soft guitar music)
Interesting.
- Thank you for fixing him doctor.
- It's very interesting.
There's a tumor that's called a meningioma,
that's typically in the frontal lobe
and the frontal lobe has to do with personality.
The tumor grows over time
and actually pushes the tissue to the side.
It doesn't grow into the brain
and actually causes personality changes.
When you actually remove the tumor,
the question ends up being just the personality
restored back to the state.
Very interesting process.
It's all different per every individual.
- You see Mrs. Shepherd,
your son had a very rare birth defect.
I'm afraid he was born with a serious up dog deficiency.
- Up dog.
- What's up dog?
- Really, up dog?
You think it's appropriate to make a joke
at a time like this?
- What's up dog?
- No, Mr. Shepherd, you don't understand.
Under prostate dioxol glucose or up dog
is a vital naturally occurring hormone.
Human beings cannot survive without it.
- I see.
I'm sorry I got upset doctor.
- Oh my gosh.
What a messed up scene?
Their kid has died, so you come in
and say what happened?
What's the news.
Why it happened.
But I've never heard of this up dog.
let's go check on parents with living babies.
- As doctors, we're human beings, we're compassionate,
if a doctor does this they're the most uncompassionate
jerk person out there.
For a show, it's really freaking funny,
but in real life,
you actually have to get tested on how to handle
difficult questions and different situations.
A part of your board exam
has to do with the difficult question
that you randomly get asked that you have to discuss.
I'm I gonna die?
Do I have cancer?
Do I have HIV?
What happens if I'm gonna die?
Or you have to tell somebody their family member died,
these are the questions that you need to know how to answer,
so you don't come across as not being compassionate.
Saying something a little off by accident
and just knowing how to have a conversation
with a human being when it's a difficult situation.
All right, that was five clips from "Cyanide & Happiness"
ridiculously funny, good and totally inappropriate.
Not the way things happen in the hospital,
but I hope you enjoyed it.
If you like this video, check out this playlist.
You'll love these videos
and as always smash that Subscribe button,
turn those bell notifications on and hit those Like buttons.
All right, thank you so much for watching.
Stay healthy my friends.
(upbeat music)