One topic that’s been covered many times in the whole self-improvement genre is how
toxic it can be to compare ourselves with others and how we should stop this pattern.
And I’m not here to just regurgitate the same information.
No.
In this video, I’m gonna be sharing something very different.
It’s the way that I look at and make sense of all of our differences.
And if you give my approach a try, I’m sure you’ll be able to be less critical towards
yourself and others as well.
Hi! My name is Daniel and I love talking about self-improvement and mental health.
If you’re interested in these topics as well, don’t forget to subscribe to our channel.
Ok, so the way that I look at and makes sense of all of our differences pretty much falls
under two mindset reframes.
And the first one I actually mentioned in one of my past videos about how to build up
your self-esteem.
In that video, I created this whole analogy around slips of paper and one hundred dollar
bills to illustrate the idea of intrinsic worth.
I want you to imagine that, in front of you, you've got a spread of thin slips of paper.
Some of the slips of paper are a little crumpled, some are a little dirty, and some are perfectly
crisp and clean.
Now, if you believe that these slips of paper don’t have value on their own, you're more
likely to overvalue their visible differences.
You might think that the dirty slips of paper have less value than the clean ones.
But, what if I told you that they're not just any slips of paper?
What if I told you that they're all one hundred dollar bills?
Does a hundred dollar bill that's a little dirty or crumpled have less value than a perfect
one?
No it doesn’t.
The value is still there.
And because we’re sure of that, most people don’t waste their time obsessing over trying
to keep all of their money clean and perfect, right?
In the same way, I changed how I looked at our worth and value as people.
By looking at all people, including myself, as having incredible intrinsic worth, I’m
able to see that the differences among us are really insignificant… so insignificant
that it makes no sense for me to beat myself up or anybody else over them.
Ok, moving onto my second mindset reframe.
Let’s begin by recreating the world we all live in.
You’re right there, right in the center of your world.
Now let’s populate your world with other people.
Then, as a lot of people do, let’s line up all these people along a scale based on
your idea of what makes an accomplished human being… less accomplished to your left, more
accomplished to your right.
To your immediate left and right, you’ve got people who appear to be measuring up closer
to you.
So, these are the guys you’re probably comparing yourself to more regularly.
Then to your far left and right, you’ve got people in a completely different league,
those you wouldn’t even compare yourself to.
So, the person to your far right might be this world-famous philanthropic tycoon who’s
made a dent in the universe.
And the person to your far left might be this evil warlord who’s killed millions of innocent
people.
Now, if this is your whole world, if, in your mind, this is all that exists, you’ll place
more meaning to WHERE everyone is situated on your scale.
And you’ll be more likely to feel superior to those on your left and inferior to those
on your right.
To address this problem, the biggest voices in self-improvement most commonly advise two
things.
One: drop all attempts at assessing others because humans are just too complex to be
compared.
And, two: hyperfocus on YOURSELF in such a way that you’re just too busy to mind what
others are doing.
But, you know what?
Your mind will still find a way to compare.
So this is what I do instead.
I zoom out of that world to see the Earth so much bigger than the people.
I then zoom out further to see our sun so much bigger than Earth.
I then zoom out even further to see the largest known star so much bigger than our sun.
I then finally zoom out as far as my mind can to reveal an entity that I believe to
be bigger than all of existence, an entity that I believe to be the ultimate actualization
of perfection.
Looking at the world through this very zoomed out lens, it’s almost like i’m looking
at us humans in the same way that I look at ants.
I see how small we are, how insignificant our differences are.
I see how tiny the difference is between a philanthropic tycoon and an evil warlord.
I’m able to see that all of us fall astronomically short of the glory of God.
As such imperfect, comparatively insignificant beings, who are we to feel like we’re better
than others?
Who are we to beat one another up?
So I don’t agree with mob justice.
I don’t waste my time and energy putting others down, not in my day-to-day life, not
over YouTube.
In fact, I’ve spent more of my time and energy on YouTube trying to bring understanding
and compassion to some of the most hated people.
As YouTubers who put our lives out into the world, we get our own fair share of haters
as well.
But when others spend their time and energy putting us down, even going as far as making
YouTube videos to criticize us, we don’t waste our time and energy to defend ourselves,
to convince other ants that we as ants run at 6 body lengths a second instead of 5.
And through this lens, we don’t perceive, as much as others do, a dividing gap between
those with and those without conditions that affect cognitive and physical growth.
So we do find it quite tragic that our medical system offers to terminate pregnancies when
these conditions are discovered.
These are just some of the many ways that these two mindset reframes have shaped how
we look at ourselves and others.
If you know anyone who could benefit from this video, make sure to share it.
And if you found this video helpful, don’t forget to give it a thumbs up as well.
Thanks for watching and I’ll see you next time.