- ALL RIGHT, Y'ALL GATHER ROUND.
GATHER ROUND. WELCOME, GENTLEMEN.
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL AND BLESSED DAY FOR AN AUCTION.
ALL RIGHT, Y'ALL, GET ON UP THERE.
- PUT THAT WHIP DOWN AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS, THOUGH.
- STRAIGHT UP.
I DON'T CARE WHAT PLANTATION I END UP ON.
I'M STRAIGHT STAGING A REVOLT IN THIS MOTHER[bleep].
- HELLS YEAH.
- WE HAVE LOT A, LOT B, AND LOT C.
- UH, $3 ON LOT A. - $4.
- 5!
- $5 GOING ONCE, TWICE, THREE TIMES, SOLD.
LOT A GOES TO THE MAN IN THE BLACK HAT.
- I MEAN, GOOD. - YEAH.
- [chuckles] I'M GLAD I DIDN'T GET SOLD,
'CAUSE I DON'T WANT TO BE OWNED BY ANOTHER HUMAN BEING.
- WHOEVER BUYS ME, THEY BETTER KILL ME THE FIRST DAY,
OR I'MA GO BUCK-WILD ON THE WHOLE OPERATION.
- OKAAY?
- NEXT ONE, GET UP ON UP THERE, NOW.
- OH, THIS--OKAY.
both: [inhale]
- $6 ON LOT A.
- $7! - EIGHT.
- 9!
- $9 GOING ONCE, TWICE, THREE TIMES, SOLD!
both: [exhale]
- OKAY, WELL, YOU HAVE TO BUY THAT DUDE.
- IT'S A NO-BRAINER. - I MEAN, THAT GUY'S HUGE.
- A MASSIVE INDIVIDUAL.
- THAT'S TWO OF ME. - ANYBODY WOULD BUY HIM.
- I'D BUY THAT DUDE.
- MY QUESTION IS HOW'D THEY CATCH HIM?
- NEXT!
- OKAY. OH, YEAH. - YEAH.
- $2 ON LOT A.
- $2 GOING ONCE, TWICE, THREE TIMES, SOLD.
- SEE, NOW, THAT SURPRISES ME.
- THAT IS INTERESTING, TO SAY THE LEAST.
- I MEAN, WELL, IT JUST SEEMS LIKE AT A CERTAIN POINT,
IT'S LIKE, DO THEY EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY'RE LOOKING FOR?
- IT'S LIKE THE WHOLE CRITERIA
SEEMS JUST A LITTLE INCONSISTENT.
- I MEAN, AT SOME POINT, I WANT TO BE ON LOT A.
- YEAH, WHICH-- CAN A BROTHA GET ON LOT A?
- NEXT.
- OH, HERE WE GO. - HERE WE GO.
- BEEN A PLEASURE. - GIVE 'EM HELL.
- ALL RIGHT. - OKAY.
- $8 ON LOT A.
- GOING ONCE, TWICE, THREE TIMES, SOLD!
- HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN? - NOPE, NOT TRUE.
- HOW DOES IT HAPPEN?
- WHAT YOU JUST SAID-- THAT'S GOBBLEDYGOOK.
OKAY? THAT CAN'T BE TRUE. 'CAUSE WHAT CAN THIS DUDE DO?
LOOK AT HIM. WHAT COULD HE PICK?
A COTTON PLANT IS, LIKE, THIS TALL.
- YES. - I'M SAY--
NO OFFENSE, BROTHA, I'M JUST SAYING.
- OFFENSE TAKEN. - WHA--[gasps]
AM I WRONG? IS HE NOT SHORT? HE'S SHORT.
BUT YOU ARE ACTUALLY SHORT IN REAL LIFE, IN THE WORLD.
- YOU'RE GOOD, MAN. - ENOUGH.
I WILL NOT HAVE MY REPUTATION TAINTED,
SELLIN' SUPERFICIAL, BIGOTED SLAVES.
- SUPERFICIAL? DID THAT REALLY JUST COME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH?
- THAT'S IT! THIS AUCTION'S OVER!
- AUCTION'S OVER? - WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
NO, IT'S--IT AIN'T OVER. IT'S NOT OVER!
I'M STRONG, Y'ALL!
I'M VERY STR-- I CAN SLEEP IN A BUCKET.
- I'M FAST, I GOT STAMINA, AND I KNOW MAGIC.
- MY WORST QUALITY IS THAT I'M A PERFECTIONIST.
- LET ME MEN-- HAVE I MENTIONED THIS? DOCILE.
I AM AGREEABLE TO A FAULT.
YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE DUDE WHO ASKED ME TO GET ON THE BOAT
WHEN WE CAME OVER HERE.
- NOT A VIOLENT BONE IN MY BODY.
- I JUST WALKED RIGHT ON, NO BIG DEAL.
NEVER SEEN A BOAT IN MY LIFE.