>>WELL, THANK YOU, EVERYONE,
FOR JOINING US FOR THE 25TH
ANNUAL FAMILY CHRISTMAS EVE.
>>YAY!
>>[APPLAUDS]
>>YES!
>>UH, NOW, EVERY CHRISTMAS,
WE HAVE ADDED A NEW
FAMILY TRADITION,
SO WE ARE QUITE
EXCITED ABOUT TONIGHT.
>>OH, THAT REMINDS ME!
IT'S 7:15;
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
EVERYONE TAKE OUT YOUR
MISTLETOE AND KISS THE
PERSON SITTING NEXT TO YOU.
>>OKAY, DON'T MIND IF I DO.
>>HEY, UH, COULD WE
MAYBE SKIP THE MISTLETOE
TRADITION THIS YEAR?
>>WHAT DID YOU SAY?
>>I MEAN, THIS WAS CUTE, LIKE,
20 YEARS AGO WHEN HALF OF US
WERE LITTLE KIDS, BUT, I MEAN,
WE'RE FULL-GROWN ADULTS NOW.
DO YOU GUYS REALLY FEEL
COMFORTABLE KISSING EXTENDED
FAMILY MEMBERS, OR...
>>DON'T QUESTION TRADITION!
NOW GIVE YOUR AUNT
MARJORIE SOME SUGAR!
>>NO, NO, NO.
EW, EW, EW, NO!
>>WHY ARE YOU MAKING
THIS SO AWKWARD, JASON?
>>I'M MAKING THINGS AWKWARD?
WHAT ABOUT AUNT MARJORIE?
SHE'S BEEN STARING AT
ME CREEPILY ALL NIGHT!
>>ALSO A TRADITION.
>>NO!
>>IT IS.
>>JASON, YOU JUST HAVE
TO LEARN TO ACCEPT THINGS.
LIKE THIS!
>>MWAH!
>>SEE HOW SWEET THAT IS?
>>UH, YEAH,
IT WOULD BE SWEET IF THEY
WEREN'T SECOND COUSINS WHO
SUSPICIOUSLY SIT NEXT TO EACH
OTHER EVERY CHRISTMAS EVE!
>>SO I SUPPOSE YOU WOULD LIKE
IT IF WE HAD NO TRADITIONS!
>>[GASPING]
>>NO, NO!
I'M JUST SAYING IT WOULD BE
NICE IF WE COULD CONSIDER
CUTTING SOME OF THEM.
>>ALL RIGHT.
I'M SORRY, GRANDPA,
BUT JASON DOESN'T
WANT YOU TO READ THE
CHRISTMAS STORY THIS YEAR!
>>[GASPS]
>>OH.
I UNDERSTAND.
I'D RATHER JASON BE COMFORTABLE
THAN DO THE ONE THING A YEAR
THAT GIVES ME JOY AND PURPOSE.
>>OH, NO, NO, NO,
GRANDPA, YOU CAN READ
THE CHRISTMAS STORY;
THAT'S A GREAT TRADITION.
[FIST THUD]
>>THAT'S THE SPIRIT.
GO AHEAD, GRANDPA.
>>OH, I ALMOST FORGOT.
TRADITION!
STEVEN, COME SIT
ON GRANDPA'S LAP.
>>OH!
>>[LAUGHS]
>>[YELLS]
>>SEE, THIS IS WHAT
I'M TALKING ABOUT!
WE'RE NOT FIVE ANYMORE.
FULL-GROWN ADULTS SHOULD NOT
BE SITTING ON THE ELDERLY!
>>NONSENSE, IT'S TRADITION!
ADAM, GET ON UP HERE.
AH!
>>NO!
THE POOR MAN IS IN AGONY, GUYS!
>>NO, THESE ARE TEARS OF JOY!
COME ON, KIDS,
THERE'S PLENTY OF
ROOM FOR EVERYONE!
>>OKAY!
>>[EXCITED CHATTER]
>>NO, ARE YOU KIDDING?
[SIGHS]
>>HERE COMES MARJORIE!
>>GET READY FOR ME!
>>'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE...
>>GRANDPA?
GRANDPA-
OH MY GOODNESS,
YOU GUYS, HE'S 97;
GET OFF OF HIM!
GET OFF!
[SCREAMS]
OH!
OUR STUPID TRADITIONS
KILLED GRANDPA!
>>HE DIED THE WAY HE WANTED.
>>I DON'T THINK HIS
IDEAL DEATH WAS BEING
SMOTHERED BY A THOUSAND
POUNDS OF HUMAN FLESH.
>>AT LEAST WE WERE
ALL BY HIS SIDE.
>>YOU WERE ALL ON HIS FACE!
>>YOU KNOW, I BET GRANDPA
WOULD HAVE SURVIVED
HAD JASON PARTICIPATED.
>>YEAH, JASON'S SELFISH
PRIDE BROKE HIS HEART.
>>NO, YOUR FAT BODIES
BROKE HIS SPLEEN!
>>ALL RIGHT, YOU WANT TO
GET RID OF SOME TRADITIONS?
THEN WE WILL FOREGO THE
GIVING OF CHRISTMAS PAJAMAS.
>>GOOD!
>>WHAT?
NO!
>>THOSE PAJAMAS ARE RIDICULOUS.
>>AND WE WILL REPLACE IT
WITH CHRISTMAS SPEEDOS!
HO HO, WHAT CHRISTMAS-Y FUN.
>>[LAUGHTER]
>>[INAUDIBLE]
>>SUBSCRIBE SO YOU CAN HANG OUT
WITH US MORE ON THE HOLIDAYS.
>>[INAUDIBLE]
>>TELL US ABOUT YOUR
FUN HOLIDAY TRADITIONS.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
>>[INAUDIBLE]
>>WE DO A-
A HEADSTAND CONTEST.
>>[INAUDIBLE]
>>WHERE WHOEVER PASSES OUT FIRST
GETS TO OPEN THE FIRST PRESENT!