(Katie sighs)
- I'm not even really sure what to say, you guys.
It's been a crazy couple of years.
I think we can all agree and in that time
obviously we had a pandemic, global crisis slash trauma.
Sean and I have moved
and I'm also working on another workshop.
If you didn't know I did an inner child workshop
and another book proposal.
I wanna do an eating disorder book, finally.
And even as I hear myself talking about this,
I don't know why I struggle with this.
It's like I feel like I need to explain,
or I've just been having this battle
with myself even, I mean,
I'm sure Sean has his own struggles with this too, but the,
when you work for yourself, people are like, when you work
for yourself, you know, you don't work a day in your life.
Or you know, I don't even know what people say.
It's like better to work for yourself.
I don't necessarily agree with that because
you're aware the buck stops.
And I've always made a commitment to create content
for you guys.
Used to be every Monday, now it's on Tuesdays
and I have my podcast
and what we've put out has just increased a lot.
And I find myself feeling guilty
for not holding up my end of the commitment always.
But it's been like 11 years and I think I can take a break.
I don't know why I'm so hard on myself, but I am,
and I think that's why I've been so consistent.
Like Sean and I have always like delivered when we told you
that we're gonna do something, we do it.
And so anyway, I'm just really needing a break.
Like look, I'm like super tearful.
I know all the signs and symptoms, right?
This is why I always say therapists
we know better but we don't always do better.
So I know I'm not sleeping as well as I usually am
and feeling more tired no matter how much sleep I get.
Like we went to Houston for my friend's wedding
and I slept like 12 hours a night and I was still exhausted.
But anyway, I'm not sleeping great.
I've been super tearful, I've been irritable in general
and I feel like my hunger fullness is a little bit off.
And I always tell you guys like, hey, pay attention
to these things and here's the things you should do.
And I think it's time that I take my own advice
but also to lead by example.
And I think that's kind of a goal that I have
for myself this year.
But obviously it's October, so moving into 2023
my goal is to lead more by example.
And I don't know if that's something you'd be interested in
but I'm happy to do, you know,
more little short videos about things I do to take care
of myself 'cause there is quite a lot that
I do and a lot that I'm not doing.
Right, like I'm just telling you, I haven't had a full,
I haven't had a vacation like a week off in two years
and that's where sometimes I like fight with myself
'cause I miss like my like corporate jobs
before this because I could just leave work at work knowing
that someone else will like pick up the slack.
But when Sean and I leave, there's like,
I mean, we have some people who help us but like we
I have to, you have to see me, I have to create content.
There's no one to pick up that slack, right?
And I don't know why I've always considered what we do
like that we need to build up and have extra
so that when we take vacation, things still roll out.
I don't know why I created that in my head,
but we've been living by that for a long time.
And I think also the pandemic caused me to
just like bury myself in work so
that I like didn't hear the chaos that's happening
in our world.
I don't know if anybody else feels like that.
Also, I feel like it's just been just a busy
it's been a busy couple of years
and I've just been feeling overwhelmed.
Needless to say, I haven't been taking my own advice
and I want you all to hold me accountable to taking breaks.
I hope that I can lead more by example.
I hope I can show you
that I'm taking care of myself in the way that I, you know,
tell you to take care of yourself.
Actually like practicing what I preach.
Like for instance,
my father-in-law who is wonderful, I love Eric.
I'd asked for Christmas for "The Artist's Way",
a book where you kind of like
you're supposed to journal every morning
and do all these things to like increase your creativity
and increase your ability to focus.
And he got it for me.
He was like, "I love that, it's a great idea."
And I got it for Christmas last year
and I have yet to start it.
And it sits on my desk every day and just like looks
at me and is like, you're not doing what you need to do.
And it's really frustrating
that I can't even make that time for myself.
And I don't know if anybody else feels this way
but when I get caught
in these ruts of like burnout and overwhelm,
it feels like every day is like Groundhogs day.
Like I get up, I get ready, either Sean takes Roxy out,
or I take her out, I make breakfast.
Like it's the same routine.
We finish work, we turn on the TV,
we watch the news for like 20 minutes.
You know, it's like, it just wash, rinse, repeat.
And I think that for me is super,
not only not healthy, but also like burnout central
because I can't just keep doing the same thing every day.
I remember like years ago, maybe 2018, 2019,
I went to this event
at YouTube Space LA about like for creative people.
Now I don't think of myself as being creative,
but at the time my partner manager
at YouTube was like, "Go to this thing.
"It'll be really cool.
"I've heard really good things about it."
So I signed up, I went and was, life was changed.
The guy that was leading this workshop
I wish I could remember his name
off the top of my head, but I can't.
And he had essentially said, everybody puts creativity
on a pedestal thinking that you have to look or be
or be doing these certain things to be a creative, right?
Like I don't create, I don't paint
or sculpt or make clothes or you know what I mean?
And he was like, no.
Like you create things every day,
like you put things out, and we all do.
And I know I've mentioned this briefly in the past
but we're all creatives and we're all creating.
And I was reading a random research article
as one does, 'cause I do a lot of random reading
about things when
I'm putting together the videos for you guys.
And they found, this wasn't even the the premise
or the reason they were doing this research,
but they found that people are better able to create
and focus in general like across all jobs,
like you're an accountant,
you're a partner manager, you do whatever, whatever you do,
you're doing a job, sales rep.
We work better after we have some alone time.
And it's almost like
productive unproductivity if that makes sense.
It's like by wandering around
and having a day off where we don't have to do anything
we're actually better able to create and focus
at work and better able to do our jobs.
Now obviously we could say, well that's the weekend
but I think the weekends like aren't enough for me.
I feel like weekends are filled
with things that I couldn't get done during the week
and so ends up being like a seven day work week.
You know?
And it's not that it's even work,
weekends are like family work, you know,
like I need to pull the weeds
in that part of the backyard or I need to go to Costco
or I need to, you know, pick up the things from the PO box
or the dry cleaning or I need to wash the dog.
Like just shit that I don't wanna do, but I have to do,
and I'm gonna try to make an effort that
like every other week I have like a Katie day
where I just do things that feel good
that are like breath in for me.
Yeah, and I hope you feel the difference because
the one thing I don't ever wanna do is have you
guys feel my burnout.
Like I don't want it to, you know, dump it on you.
That's on me, right?
I own that and I need to be better.
I need to take better care of myself.
I need to do things that I, again, I know better.
I just don't always do better.
So anyways, I don't wanna ramble
and keep this going forever.
But I do want you to know
that if you're feeling this way, A, you're not alone.
And if you found some of the advice
or insights I've offered to be too difficult, join the club.
I promise to try to practice what I preach more and lead
by example because I think you can only tell people so much
and then you have to show it.
And I'm making a promise to you that
in 2023 I will show up for myself first
and I will for sure show up for you in a real way.
And I just hope that you feel the difference
and I hope it comes through
in the workshops that we're preparing,
I'm preparing one for January about boundaries.
And I'm really excited about it but I can't really get
into it yet cause I just don't have that umph.
Do you ever feel like, you know
that burnout just makes me like, ugh.
Like it just, everything seems
like a task even though I love creating that stuff
and I'm excited about it, you know?
Anyways, I hope by doing this I'm able to breathe new life
into what Sean and I create.
I'm able to breathe new life into our community.
I hope you feel and see the difference.
I would love to hear how you are doing.
That's one of the things that I know is a breath in
for me is like the live streams I do on Patreon
and the hangouts and just spending time with you guys.
So, I would love to know how you're feeling,
if you're feeling burnt out,
what you've been doing to take better care of yourself.
If you're not feeling burnt out, how do you avoid it?
I would love to learn from you,
because like I've always said,
it's my expertise but it's your experience
and I think it's our experience as humans.
We're all humans sharing this world.
And it's been a tumultuous couple
of years and I just have never,
I feel like I've kept trying to catch,
get my footing, but like another wave hits,
and I just haven't taken the time to like rest.
Sometimes I just need to take a beat and figure out
where I'm at, where I wanna be,
and if the choices I'm making every day are leading me
in the right way.
Because I don't always think they do.
Sometimes when you're stressed you make,
or I should speak personally, I make impulsive,
maybe not the most healthy or helpful decisions.
And so try and take my own advice, get things sorted,
take a break, rediscover the reason that Sean
and I created this channel and the reason I do what I do
and why I love it so much and why it is so fulfilling.
Yeah. And just recharge.
I have so many videos on YouTube.
If you're needing a hit of, you know, mental health
educational content, take to the YouTube search bar
and put in some terms like anxiety over the holidays.
And you can look, and Katie Morton, my videos will come up.
You know, just any search terms like depression, anxiety,
self injury, eating disorders, Katie Morton,
the videos will come up and you can, you know, watch them.
If you're wanting to watch more live stream type content,
we have that over on Patreon.
I think it starts at $5 a month
and you can access all those old live streams
where I answer everybody's questions.
Yeah, I love you guys.
Thanks for letting me do this amazing job.
It's not a job I ever thought would be a job,
but it's the most fulfilling thing I've ever done
and I'm so appreciative and I promise to do better.
I promise to practice what I preach and lead
by example versus just talking at you because, like I said,
I know better, but I don't always do better.
And this doesn't mean I'm gonna be perfect
but you can hold me accountable.
I just promise to do better
than I did yesterday and that's always gonna be my goal.
Okay? Have a great week.
Take your breaks when you need to so you don't end
up like me, like years out, not having taken a break.
Yeah, have a good week next week.
(upbeat music)