to me what the funniest fucking thing is how much we lie to ourselves that's where it gets
amazing it's like you know you were talking about and I've done the exact same thing with
screen time when you're presented that humiliating number of hours and you've been telling friends
you're busy and you're fucking looking at that just thinking like dude I've been like
you know looking at bullshit but then before you do that you like but it's my job you know
I've got to kind of be online.
it's like no you're addicted to technology.
and because you can't stand the fact that you don't have the discipline to stop using
it, you would rather make up a story involving some absolutely verifiable bullshit so that
you don't have to deal with the fact that you arent in full control of yourself.
And it’s a non rewarding addiction which is really strange it's like when you looking
at stories on like the Apple news feed or something you're scrolling looking for something
that's going to Captivate you yeah what is oh the Apple having problems that keyboards
and start reading this and it's like oh you can't Huawei can't sell laptops new us anymore
like how much of that am I like you were saying earlier how much that is junk thoughts yeah
he's a junk thoughts like junk food junk food youre just consuming.
consuming and I don't think it's useless I think it serves a purpose like
some of it does if I mean in the sense of maybe not a purpose
in the way you're going to be as a human but a purpose in the sense of like
if you apply a little bit of like mindfulness when you're using your phone how do I feel
right now you know I'm talking about like I do I fucking feel you realize you feel a
specific way it's a kind of like numbness there's a quality of like kind of like sedated
numbness to the hypnotic State you've been lulled into by the algorithms and there's
some pleasant kind of like I guess you could compare it to some like low-level euphoric
painkiller but not very euphoric mostly just a mild numbness that is pretty good at turning
off anxiety or you could at least displace your own personal anxiety like if I'm scanning
through my phone and I find the inevitable bad news whatever form its in I could pretend
that my anxiety is related to that news you know and then that's when you get people who
are very anxious and they say I've seen it either side who was a famous
some person tweeted I'm here in this beautiful place and I cant enjoy it because of our president
you know what I mean it's like whoa I don't I'm not sure that's the real reason why you
cant enjoy that place.
I think it might be actually that you haven't dealt with the fact that you're a vet you're
freaking the fuck out right yeah that to me is like this the purpose of a phone it's very
good at tricking yourself into thinking that the reason you feel like shit is because of
something happening in the world it's a bandwidth eater too and here's what
the problem with that is sometimes you have these legitimate thoughts and when you have
these legitimate thoughts meaning like meaning like something you working on
something you're like whether it's an idea you're trying to do on stage or something
else another project that you're doing these things they require your bandwidth right and
when you're always looking at your phone it chips away percentages of your bandwidth 10
here 5 there 20 there at 7 there and you don't think about it because no I'm still concentrating
on the project I'm still on the project the project the project the project yeah but really
no really you're into rivers at the same time.
you're in this wacky River of nonsense and wondering who got this and how much they're
getting in this divorce and who died in the Dominican Republic oh my God another person
another tourist oh my God yeah you know and you're just you if you want to look at all
the bad stuff that happens among seven billion people you have to think of all the interactions
that humans have all the literally billions of interactions Everyday People constantly
and occasionally one goes Fucking Western yeah
one goes sideways and that's the one you see on YouTube Jesus Christ this world's going
to shit and then you watch another one you watch another one you watch infectious diseases
and snake bites and what happens when you get necropsy when your fucking flesh starts
falling off flesh-eating bacteria say how they get that snorkeling the next thing you
know you're fucking just numb numb to your real life because you're taking in data from
everywhere yeah that's it , fuck man and it's like then
that gets inside of you and now you're just a turbulent you have a turbulent self that
is digested a version of the world that's only half true and so because of that you're
going to be half a person because you're not looking into like your own whatever the fuck
you are.
I've had friends that legitimately lost her mind.
I can't talk to anymore, like, like you talked about events in his version of events or just
like.
So not what actually happened, This is a process lost their marbles, yeah yeah, happens you
you can temporarily lose your marbles on permanent origin or permanently, but I think that, like
I mean I permanently.
saying people that just can't keep together anymore and
whatever reason weather A combination of life, stress and biological situation whatever the
fuck they ve got going on you now you equally in their own brain, but some people, others
are not there anymore, not keeping together, do they think they're keeping it together.
the brain- is an organ in it malfunctions and Sometimes you go nuts and that's in UK
Stigmatize, for which really sacks, because if you like that just adds to the problem
like if you you know you see somebody in a caste and you're like all would have been
your arm and I'll.
Tell ya.
You know whatever I fell down, but do you you talk to someone he's been like hospitalized
for a few weeks and they tell you I go to the hospital nervous breakdown.
I went crazy shit, my pants, whom I dont thoroughly.
Now you know you you'll want you want to be compassionate there's something maybe that's
like.
Oh now.
This has occurred
easy person like it she's still something happened, the operating system temporarily
crashed, and quite often I think that could be a very good thing.
I think that having your your personality, or your ego crash, can often mean that you
were trying to be somebody that you aren’t and some people invest so much energy.
So a much energy Self defining
yeah, they just want to be some thing.
You know since they were a kid their mother was telling them.
You should be like this, and then they try to be like this and they hold up this thing.
They're always working to hold up this giant tail feathers and their arms start shaking.
And then they can’t hold it up and that's that's when they have like anger, outbursts
or suddenly, like their friends like you “You turned into someone I've never met.
I don’t know who that is”.
Its like No That is them.
you met Them. you met underneath the tale, feather deceiving sea of anger and disappointment
and sadness they move it.
You met that thing that they're they're, trying to avoid by looking up at this mask they're
holding up to the world, but that Fucking, seething, sea of disappointment, anger and
horror and sadness that Tat man you gotta go that thing.
Some people, the only way they can go into that is by having a full scale nervous breakdown,
because then they can have permission to dive into that into that awful vortex of darkness,
because underneath that vortex of darkness is paradise, underneath that love of unhappiness
enjoy and connection and tranquillity, and all that stuff in everyone's thinks that the
way to get to that point is by avoiding this awful black forest that surrounds the garden
of Eden, which is inside everybody?
It's inside everybody?
It's there, it's air and it doesn't matter.
You know you can work out in now.
if we give you a temporarily temporary good feeling, but will you addressed the internal
structures that you have an acknowledged you're, always gonna, go back to that place where
you and yourself morose and depressed and angry, and you dont know why you're here after
that place until you sit with sadness inside of you.
You have to do that when you describe is coming out of the closet yeah, for a lot of people.
That is what it is me it's coming out of the closet and there's a lot of closets and analyse
the gay clause in there's all kinds of closet.
There's the artists closet.
Some people are fucking accountants, their wearing shoots in their ties on tight and
they're fucking, like the and discipline, but inside there probably painters they probably
want to fucking paint they wanna Paynton Day glow mountains down at the beach, that's what
they really are, but their daddy or their mommy wanted them to be a good little business
man.
So they became this thing.
That's the opposite of what they are.
This is the vote.
in the back of our Gaeta God.
Forgive me
have quoted it way too many times, but it is better to be an honest street sweeper than
a design king, it's better to be a happy guy, brushing fucking weaves up the street than
it is to be some zillion air who inside is dying or non are miserable, mostly not numbs.
The Most people does not as long as these people can quantify on paper, I still have
a ex million dollar home.
My car still cost Ex thousand hours.
This suit is an ex suit.
I am still ahead.
I am not going to abandon all these things as long as they don't see through the bullshit
play the game, they think they're winning they have to follow their yeah.
It's almost like you have to fall to to really.
That's what you gotta appreciate those moments when it off falls only because that means
you’ve got an opportunity to try it again.
Let's take a new fresh perspective..
And it’s a beautiful idea in that heart break is actually your ego cracking.
the moment that cracks you're in the experience of truth and when you're in the experience
of truth, that's when you can really become who you are.
but to get to who are are - it's like when you known a bone heels the wrong way like
that's whatthe people's entire personality, is it's like a bone that grew the wrong way
and that needs a fuckin as snap crack.
You know Will you get that through me that that initial fucking thing in beautiful analogy
and it hurts but we’re pain avoiding creatures.
So we think that so we're always running away from this pain, but problem is, as we're running
away from pain, we're still exactly in paying its base.
it’s like being on fire and running away from water, you're just running away from
the water, because for some that's stupid analogy actually now you have great up into
that.