I love you.
I love you more.
I love you more [kiss sounds]
When I was 15-year-old I got pregnant
and I was scary
and I didn't really want I didn't want babies young.
One, two, three...
And then when I was 16
she was born
and it just kind of gave a new purpose.
Made everything seem a lot brighter.
The guy I am watching right now is super funny.
[Laughs] I like him.
Throughout the pregnancy is when it really hit me,
like 'wow this is going to be good.'
'This is gonna be cool
Because you want makeup all the time...
What does that have to do with that?
We're gonna grow up together, and then
when we're older we're gonna go and experience everything together.
We can experience all of this together and we're going to be adults together.
You know, have lifelong companion to do things with.
DIPG is a rare form of cancer that
grows out of the brain stem and it is
incurable and has no known treatments to
get rid of it.
Only radiation to buy you time.
How much time is unknown.
Nobody has survived it.
Ever.
It's a heavy weight. No one. Not even one.
People go into remission, it stops growing for a
bit it always comes back. It always comes
back worse and more aggressive.
Now, do you find that your sometimes when you're going to reach for things
do you still have a little bit of a shake in your hand?
Ummm sometimes.
Well the worst part about it is
because it's in the back -- it's back here
growing out of the brainstem right at the base...
the worst part about what it is, it doesn't
affect any of your mental cognizance.
Like you're still there.
Your mental awareness is all there.
You're still you. But you're not.
Because this is taking away your ability to walk.
Your ability to eat.
Your ability to speak.
Your ability to see.
So you lose pieces of yourself but you remain aware of it.
And that's probably the hardest part of it.
It's not knowing that you know this is happening
because I mean that's already hard enough
but it's knowing that
it's gonna take pieces of her
in the worst kind of way.
And there's nothing I can do about it.
So the day we found out on the first,
Jay went back into the room and said
write down everything you want to do this year.
And she started writing stuff down.
And then over time she kind of thought of a couple more things over the next couple of days
so we added them in.
Yeah, and that turned into the the bucket list that it is now
-- written on that pink piece of paper.
To me the the bucket list is
memories and seeing her smile and
seeing that joy
and getting my lifetime of fill
in a shorter amount of time.
I'm trying to
embed the memory in my brain so that it's always there.
And wanting to make sure I never forget it, you know.
The sound of her voice.
The sound of her laughing.
Looking at her and wondering what she'd look like when she's older.
It keeps me in the light.
I keeps me focusing on something other than future.
Because the future doesn't look so happy.
So it's nice to focus on something happy right now.
Rather than focusing on on, you know, a couple years down the road.
If we do it again she won't be there.
That's if you need to move and I am not around you can move yourself.
Also if you go like this, you turn and go backwards. You can turn yourself this way.
Will I be in this all the time?
Will I have to be in the wheelchair the whole time?
The hard part is because it's just been me and her
I've had to start thinking about what it's going to be like.
It's even hard to say it.
I've had to start to think about
what its gonna be like when she's not around.
Preparing myself for the quiet.
And not waking up to her every morning.
Beautiful.
What do you think?
Good!
Good. I think it's gorgeous.
Rise and greet with a warm round of applause
one of the amazing souls I've ever met in my life.
Please make welcome to my near and dear friend Janaya.
Come on out here sweetheart.
[Crowd applause]
[Singing] I didn't fall in love with your hair
[Singing] here gone girl I really don't care.
[Singing] The heart that's inside you is why I stopped and stared.
[Singing] I swear I didn't fall in love with your hair.
it's been nice to see her smile
and laugh and be herself and giddy
It's a kid I haven't I haven't seen for a while.
It probably took her about almost two months
to really come back and be herself.
And be vivacious and lively and funny and sassy
and unapologetically her.
Janaya, with everybody here, we wish you nothing but the best
in beating cancer
and living an amazing life with your
family and this community that supports you.
Thank you for being here.
We all love you.
This one's for Janaya everybody.
[Crowd cheers]