Hey guys.
My name is Qing.
It sounds like ch-ching and you can call me that.
In exactly 28 days I will be moving to Melbourne,
the one in Australia, not the one in Florida.
And I found out about this in June
when my company told me that they will move there for a year.
And it was kind of one of those things that’s a big deal.
Only one person gets picked.
And I rushed home and I told my parents.
And my dad was on his couch at the time.
And his face planted in front of his laptop.
And I saw him pull his head back, the white hair behind his ears
peeking out a bit.
And I already knew what he was gonna say.
“I don't think you should go.
You should stay here and find a boyfriend.”
You see, in China, where we're from,
someone like me,
that is a woman, 30 years old, and single,
I am what's considered ‘sheng nu,’
or literally,
leftover women.
And it doesn't matter that my parents
have traveled around when they were young.
When it comes to me,
the generation gap is real.
I however did not want
to put my life on hold
for someone who did not exist.
So I
So I began to plan my adventure in Australia.
And it’s as if the universe heard my parents calling.
A couple weeks later I met Adam.
And Adam
well,
he’s perfect.
Adam is this rare breed of
engi-nerd and athlete.
And
he’s looking for something real.
We talked on the phone every day.
And he could make me laugh until my stomach hurts.
And one day when we talked about
the visions we had for our lives,
Adam said unprompted,
“there’s one thing I know for sure,
I will never ever have a long distance relationship.”
I was wondering when to tell Adam about Australia,
so I guess it made my life easier.
And after some back and forth we decided to keep going
because when you have something special
you try to make it work.
And things continued to be perfect.
I met his best friends.
He sent pictures of us to his mom.
And I began to think about things like,
“what if I delay my trip
for a couple months
and we’ll try to make this work?”
And Adam began to tell me
about his future plans too,
like the vacations he wanted to take next year.
Morocco,
Papua New Guinea,
not once Australia.
And one day I just had to be like,
“hey man, what’s going on?”
To which he responded,
“the one thing I know for sure,
I will never ever do a long distance.”
That night I stayed home.
I buried my face in my hands.
A million thoughts rushed through my head.
Could I have been more or better
so he can change his mind?
Should I stay?
What if dad was right all along
that this whole Australia thing
was just a self-sabotaging scheme
to turn away love?
And I saw my dad getting up from his couch
and I just knew what he was gonna say,
“Why can't you just listen and stay?”
And at that moment
he actually said,
“one year flies by,
if this man doesn't even wanna work
with you on this,
what are you doing?
You are going to Australia.”
And I took another good look at him
the white hair behind his ears still peeking out.
And I knew that the biggest worry he has in life was
for me to finally settle down.
And yet at that moment
he wasn’t treating me
like a leftover woman.
Instead he was telling me,
“don’t you put your life on hold
even for someone who does exist.
Even if he's
perfect.
I walked over and I gave him a hug.
And my dad barely knew how to give a proper hug back.
So all he did was just
put one arm around me
and gently tap me on the back with his fingertips.
And
it’s okay that the hug sucked
because at that moment
I knew two things for sure.
One,
I will never ever have a long distance relationship with Adam.
And two,
I've never felt closer to my dad.