A major component of acid rain, an accelerator of corrosion and the rusting of metals, found
in the tumors of cancer patients, a contributor to the greenhouse effect, fatal if inhaled,
and capable of causing serious burns in the right circumstances, colorless, odorless and
tasteless dihydrogen monoxide (DHMO) is responsible for thousands of deaths each year.
An exercise in perspective, by focusing simply on the negative, we can easily be tricked
into thinking just about anything is bad, even something as necessary to life as water,
made of two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom, hence dihydrogen monoxide. And thanks
to a few precocious people, at different times over the last few decades, that is precisely
what happened. One of the earliest dihydrogen monoxide hoaxes
was printed on April 1, 1983, in the Durand Express, a weekly newspaper in Shiawassee
County, Michigan. The article warned the populace that inhaling the chemical "nearly always
results in death," and its "vapors ... cause severe blistering of the skin which can be
fatal if extensive." By the end of the article, however, it was revealed that the dangerous
chemical was, in fact, just water. With the dawn of the internet, the chemically
savvy continued to prey on the ignorant, and by 1994, internet jokers pretended to have
serious conversations about the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide. One of the earliest fake
organizations, eventually called the Coalition to Ban Dihydrogen Monoxide, was formed by
students at the University of California, Santa Cruz, in 1989.
Early claims included: "Millions of gallons of the stuff are sprayed on fruits and vegetables.
Do you want your children eating that stuff?" It was an "invisible killer" that was "found
in almost every stream, lake and reservoir in America," and that the U.S. Navy was "designing
multi-billion dollar devices to control and utilize it during warfare situations [and
even that] research facilities receive tons of it through a highly sophisticated underground
distribution network." These early sites also noted that this "hazardous
chemical" was used "as an industrial solvent and coolant . . . in many forms of animal
research . . . in the distribution of deadly pesitcides . . . [and] as an integral part
of the operation of nuclear power plants." They also claimed that although it could damage
concrete, erode natural landscapes and interfere with the operation of automobile brakes, it
was still used "as a fire retardant" and "an additive in certain junk foods and other food
products." Funny now, at the time, some people were truly
deceived. In fact, one hoax in 1997 was so convincing, its four teenage masterminds were
arrested and nearly faced criminal charges. The young men, aged 14 to 16, distributed
fliers in the Wylie Heights neighborhood outside of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, that carried
warnings that dihydrogen monoxide was responsible for "severe hydration, frequent urination
and possible death." They included an 800 number on the flier (that directed the caller
to a telephone sex business) and listed the name of the father of a classmate as a "county
health inspector." After the "health inspector" received several calls from distraught people,
some of whom got mad at him, he called the police. The teens were eventually identified
when they blabbed to his son, their classmate. Although they were not ultimately charged,
they were forced to go door-to-door to apologize. Also in 1997, Nathan Zohner, a 14-year-old
student at Eagle Rock Junior High in Idaho Falls, Idaho, as part of a science project
called "How Gullible Are We?" warned 50 of his classmates of the "dangers" of DHMO and
asked them to join his effort to ban DHMO. He was able to get 43 to sign his petition.
Besides average citizens and middle school students, sometimes even public officials
have been fooled. In March 2004, the City Council of Aliso Viejo, California, had planned
to take up a ban on foam cups because of "environmental concerns . . . [of] the danger posed by dihydrogen
monoxide, described as a chemical used in production of the [foam cups] that can threaten
human health and safety." Blaming the initiative on "a paralegal who did bad research," the
city's manager pulled the proposed law from the agenda prior to any vote.
Bonus Facts: In another case of an absurd law almost being
passed by politicians who should really apparently have paid more attention in school, at one
point the state of Indiana almost passed a law declaring mathematical Pi to be 3.2…
The ridiculous story starts with amateur mathematician Edward Goodwin who, in 1894, believed he had
finally solved the age old mathematical problem of "squaring the circle" (i.e. find a square
with the same area as a given circle using a straight edge and a compass. ) Intending
to copyright his proof, Goodwin, a philanthropist, wanted to ensure that Indiana schools could
use it for free in their textbooks. Somehow, he persuaded Indiana State Representative
Taylor I. Record of Posey County to introduce a bill on January 18, 1897, that also stated
in pertinent part: “A bill for an act introducing a new mathematical truth . . . . It has been
found that a circular area is to the square on a line equal to the quadrant of the circumference
. . . . The diameter employed as the linear unit according to the present rule in computing
the circle's area is entirely wrong . . . “. The bill, written by Goodwin, goes on to,
in the words of a well-respected mathematician at the time, Professor C.A. Waldo, give two
different values for pi, neither of which is correct: "At the outset it gave 4 as the
true value . . . while towards the end it gave 3.2..."
After being introduced, it went to the House Committee on Canals (also sometimes called
the Committee on Swamp Lands), which didn't know what to do with it, so they sent it to
the Committee on Education on January 19, 1897. The proposed law, House Bill 246 (1897),
had the support of the State Superintendent of Public Instruction and was recommended
by the Education Committee on February 2, 1897.
While pending in the full House, one member, a former teacher, stated: "If we pass this
bill which establishes a new and correct value for pi, the author offers to our state without
cost the use of his discovery and its free publication in our school text books, while
everyone else must pay him a royalty." Unusually, the bill was read three times on
the House floor (in fact they had to suspend a rule to read it the third time), but finally
passed by a vote of 67-0 on February 5, 1897. Obviously, no one understood what it said.
In the Indiana Senate, the bill first was sent first to the Temperance Committee, which
must have fallen off the wagon, because on February 10, 1897, that committee recommended
that it be passed. Sanity finally prevailed, however, when the
bill got to the Senate floor on February 12, 1897, as it was immediately met with derision
- not because the Senators could tell on their own it required a modification of pi to complete
the proof, but just because it involved math. On February 12, 1897, Senator Hubbel summed
up the sentiment of most: "The Senate might as well try to legislate water to run up hill
as to establish a mathematical truth by law." Of course, the Senators didn't really understand
what the bill said, either. And, being a body known for its lack of propriety and propensity
to "tell jokes, skylark and make noise," the Senate proceeded to ridicule the bill for
another 30 minutes, such as with this exchange: “Senator Drummond: "It may be I am densely
ignorant on this question of mathematics." Senator Ellison: "Consent! Consent!"”
After the laughter died down, however, the bill was dropped. This was likely due, in
no small part, to a remarkable coincidence that had occurred three weeks earlier.
By happenchance, when the bill was being voted on in the House, the aforementioned Professor
C.A. Waldo had been at the legislature to shepherd through an appropriation bill for
Indiana University and Purdue University. After the pi bill had passed the House, someone
showed Professor Waldo a copy and asked if he would like to meet Goodwin. After looking
over the document, Waldo declined stating "he was acquainted with as many crazy people
as he cared to know." Waldo then began working on the Senate- in
his words coaching them- so they were fully apprised of the bill's absurdity when it arrived
in that esteemed body. Finally, we’d be remiss if we brought up
mathematical pi and didn’t mention one of our favorite mathematical facts partially
related to pi- that the mathematical volume of a pizza is pizza. You see, if z = radius
of the pizza
and a = the height then Π * radius2 * height = Pi * z * z * a.