I love music, and you know what?
I don't wanna brag, I'm really good at knowing the song lyrics to all songs.
And it's something that I pride myself on.
That, and rolling my own cigarettes, and so
>> [LAUGH]
>> Sometimes I know the words better
than the people that wrote the songs themselves.
>> [LAUGH] >> My friend Justin Timberlake,
I call him Timby.
And Timby has a song Can't Stop the Feeling, you know that song?
>> [APPLAUSE] >> Yeah.
>> [APPLAUSE] >> And at one point in the song he sings,
I'm just electric, just electric, just electric.
Didn't go that high but I'd like to sing it that high.
>> [LAUGH] >> But when I sang it for Timby he said,
actually it's just imagine, just imagine, just imagine.
>> [LAUGH] >> I was like,
you don't even know your own song.
>> [LAUGH] >> I told him that, and
then he asked me to stop calling him Timby.
And >> [LAUGH]
>> Last week I was really excited,
I met this woman named Cathy who I love so very, very much.
She was playing No or Go, and she had a hard time finishing song lyrics.
So obviously, I invited her back to play another game, Finishing Song Lyrics, and
here's what happened >> Finish these lyrics.
>> Gosh. >> It's hard out here for a.
>> It's hard out here for a.
It's hard out here for a.
It's hard out here.
It's hard.
[SOUND] >> I can't feel my face when.
>> I can't feel my face when I'm with you.
>> Yes!
>> I'm gonna pop some tags, only got >> Only got nine dollars in my pocket.
>> [LAUGH] [APPLAUSE] >> I keep on hoping we'll eat.
>> I keep on hoping we'll eat.
>> [LAUGH] >> I keep on hoping we'll eat.
I keep on hoping we'll eat.
Tell me, wait.
Don't do that thing again.
[LAUGH] Okay.
>> It's a dessert.
>> Dessert.
I keep on hoping we'll eat pie.
>> [LAUGH] >> Cathy did pretty well,
but earlier that day we were rehearsing what we were gonna do with her and
they were quizzing me on some song lyrics, just to play with me during rehearsal, and
there was a song that I didn't know.
And, the line is, that I didn't recognize, and we'll see if you know it,
today's the day I've been waiting for tomorrow won't come after all.
Do you know what song that is?
>> No.
>> [LAUGH]. >> Yeah, well, it's my theme song.
>> [LAUGH] >> Is theme song that I listen to every
single day for the last two years, there's 365 days in a year,
two years and so over a million times I've heard that song.
>> And I've never realized that was the lyric before.
Tomorrow won't come after all.
I was like, you know, it's written by Pink, who is my friend, I call her Pinky.
And the song is very upbeat so
I just assumed all the words would be happy too and I looked up the lyrics and
there's other words that I was like, what is this theme song about?
There's another line in there I never want to go home, no, no, no.
And I cannot relate to that at all.
I love going home.
>> [LAUGH] >> I love going home so
much I've bought five over the years to go home to.
Here's another, I get so vicious when I don't feel delicious.
That's in there, what does that mean?
>> [LAUGH] >> Now in her defense,
there aren't many words that rhyme with vicious.
But still, I get vicious when I don't feel delicious.
Anyway, I love her.
I love my theme song.
I love Pink and I'll dance to one of her songs right now.
I'm gonna call her and I'm gonna ask her what these lyrics [LAUGH]
>> What I'd love, is she on the line?
Cuz I don't have a number here.
>> [LAUGH] >> Be great.
>> [INAUDIBLE] >> [LAUGH]
>> Okay.
>> [LAUGH] >> I know all the phone
numbers to all celebrities by heart.
Hey Pink.
>> Hey. >> Hey it's Ellen.
Hi.
>> Hi.
>> Hi you're there, you picked up so fast.
Hey, listen,
I was just talking to my audience about the theme song that you wrote.
First of all, I love the theme song, you know that?
>> Thank you.
Still?
>> No.
Well, wait, before I, you know what I should do is I should congratulate you
on your baby boy, Jameson.
Congratulations on your little boy.
>> Thank you.
>> [APPLAUSE] >> He's sleeping on my chest right now.
>> He is so precious.
That little video that you sent me of him snoring was the cutest thing.
He's precious.
>> He is delicious.
>> [LAUGH] When he is not, is he vicious?
>> [LAUGH] >> We'll get to that in a minute.
Let's talk about the baby first.
How is Willow doing?
I heard you threw a big sister party for Willow, which is really a smart idea.
>> I do all kinds of stuff.
I literally put Jameson down when she walks in the room.
>> Wow, so he's gonna have a complex when grows up, because that's what happens.
So you put her first, then.
>> I'm trying to, she's a little weepy these days, so we're working it out.
>> Is that really, is it tough because he came home and
then he didn't go back again?
[LAUGH] Anyway congratulations, that's not why I'm calling.
I'm calling about some theme song, okay?
Let's talk about the theme song.
>> Okay.
>> So there's things in here that I didn't know that.
>> There's no curse words?
>> No there's no curse words but the tomorrow's not gonna come.
Now when you say tomorrow won't come after all.
Should we be worried?
Do you know something we don't know?
>> [LAUGH] >> What do you mean?
>> I'm always worried.
>> I know but what do you mean by, today's the day we've been waiting for,
tomorrow won't come after all?
>> It's a regurgitated cliche [LAUGH].
>> All right.
>> [LAUGH] >> What about the vicious and
delicious line?
>> It means when I'm not yummy I get mean.
>> Yeah, okay, good.
Well there's not, yeah, obviously you could have said,
you know, nutritious and, or when I'm doing dishes I get suspicious.
>> [LAUGH] >> That's my favorite
line >> Yeah.
>> Ellen, I rewrote that a couple of times.
>> The vicious and delicious?
>> It took me a minute to get to that fabulousness.
>> I like it but the whole song is really really good.
And then you know how many times you say no in the song?
>> No.
>> [LAUGH] >> 30 times.
>> No, I don't.
>> Mm-hm. I count it.
30 times you said no.
>> I'm a no person- >> Not one yes.
>> No!
>> [LAUGH] But, the whole song's about yes.
>> I know and yet >> I think I'm gonna overdo it
>> And yet, it's no the whole time.
And then you sing I never wanna go home.
No, no, no.
Is everything okay at home?
>> [LAUGH] >> [LAUGH] You make me laugh.
>> I'm glad. I miss you,
and I'm gonna see you soon, I hope.
>> Yes, I hope so too.
[LAUGH] >> All right,
well- >> I can write a new song.
[LAUGH] >> No!
>> [LAUGH] >> Yeah but why don't you?
I mean, why not?
[LAUGH] >> Write another song full of yesses.
>> [LAUGH] >> And that we'll have it tomorrow,
because that's what >> [LAUGH]
>> We love today.
And I'm glad that you wrote that today is the day we've been waiting for.
Because this show is about today.
Right? >> [LAUGH] I guess.
>> Are you drunk?
[LAUGH] >> Possibly.
>> All right. I bet you
>> I haven't slept.
>> I bet. You have to get out of the house.
Leave that baby at home with Willow and come see us okay?
>> [LAUGH]