- Therapist reacts raw.
Here I'm reacting to, let's see.
(laughing)
The Bachelor, The Bachelor.
Why would you do this to me?
I didn't, I don't want to, you can't make me.
Mended Light.
(upbeat instrumental music)
Okay all right so this is,
normally with my therapist reacts videos,
I'm reacting to something in the news
or something that I've chosen,
that I had like a statement, like this is my reaction,
but my producers wanted me just to go like cold turkey
and react to things that they've chosen,
and I don't even know what it's gonna be.
And I literally just pull this up and it's The Bachelor,
and I don't watch The Bachelor.
It's cool if you watch The Bachelor,
I don't watch The Bachelor.
So I don't even know what I'm in for,
I know the basic premise, am I,
do I have a set up, or am I just in play, I'm hitting play.
- Are you ready to do the damn thing?
- I am, yes!
- All right,
so I'm gonna give my relationship expert feedback
on the goings on of this quality program.
- I'm a little upset with you honestly.
- But I'm upset with you like.
- Like you said that the red flag here is Elizabeth.
- Me, you, and Ency were talking out by the pool,
I was trying to engage in the conversation,
and I didn't feel like you were like looking at me,
acknowledging me.
(laughing)
- That is the best RBF that I've ever seen,
RBF stands for resting bitch face.
It's a gendered term, but I've seen men do it as well.
Here's mine, ready?
(banging sound)
But this right here is just dagger eyes.
Okay,
I thought the drama on The Bachelor was supposed to be about
like the relationship between the bachelor and the women,
not the women with each other.
I suddenly want to watch this show.
Oh, I've betrayed everything I stand for.
It's just an impulse, I don't need to heed it.
- That's a mean girl vibe to me.
- So I want to expose a thing about myself.
- Yeah.
- It's really hard for me to have multiple auditory inputs
because I can't process the information, I have ADHD,
I've had it really bad since I was a kid.
- Okay.
- Like I was probably just.
(laughing)
- So I want to explain something about me,
I'm gonna play the mental health card,
now maybe she has ADHD.
Maybe she has no ill intent,
but it sure looked like she hated
the woman she was looking at.
And now she's talking about her mental illness
as a way to make the other woman feel bad
for ever judging her, questioning her,
but also calling another human being a red flag
just in and of itself,
while possibly true in some circumstances.
- Just two faced,
and I just don't know if she's here for the right reasons.
- Ouch.
That's gonna lead to some hurt feelings.
- Really trying to concentrate
on what Ency was trying to say to me.
- [Female] Okay.
- And maybe you had said something
in the middle of her saying something.
- She just looks like she's never smiled before.
- And I just, I can't like hear it.
- Like I literally was trying to,
I was talking to you and Ency,
and you literally weren't even looking at me.
- I just explained that to you though.
- No, I'm saying I'm reiterating, like what, how it felt.
You're one way, one minute with me,
and then you're one next, like that's two-faced to me.
- Hey you pushed me today like, I'm sorry.
- I pushed you because I was trying to win honey,
weren't we all?
- Look at my whole legs.
(laughing)
- So I love that, so who's Shanae, and who's Elizabeth?
So I've just gotten a little bit of context.
So Shanae told the bachelor in her time with him,
that Elizabeth was two-faced and a red flag,
and so now Elizabeth is confronting Shanae
about saying that because, you know,
dashing her chances of being with the bachelor,
who even cares, The Bachelors' been on for how long,
like these relationships don't last.
Like, does it,
has anybody found their soulmate on The Bachelor?
Do you know, are any of the couples still together?
How many?
- [Producer] Like 6 or 7.
- Out of how many?
- [Producer] A lot.
- Out of like 40 or 50?
Okay, but it's really about,
this is like King of the Hill or Queen of the Raft,
like you ever play that in the swimming pool,
like you're fighting over the raft,
like who gets to stay on, so like,
who's gonna be the winner.
I was gonna say, who's gonna be on top.
(laughing)
- This is moving very fast.
- Who's gonna be the winner at the end of the season
is really what we're going for,
because I don't believe you can find love,
like lasting love,
statistically speaking on a highly produced
television show where they pick everybody.
If I had to choose my wife from a lineup of what,
15 women that are selected,
or how however many they start with, that's like the worst,
it's just like what your parents
try to do when they're like,
well here we picked three people pick one of them,
except for your parents are ABC.
Okay,
so I just want to comment on the artificiality
of the situation where one man
needs to choose from a host of women,
and one woman has one-on-one time with him
and talks crap about the other,
and then he goes out and gets the other,
and says, I need to talk to you,
this is what she was saying about you,
and now the two women are talking.
I mean, so this is love.
This is how these things start.
This is how mom met dad, yep.
For sure, for sure.
(laughing)
Oh my gosh.
Anyone who's on The Bachelor, like what are your motives?
Is it really, is it really to find the love of your life?
Especially if you're one of the women,
'cause you don't even get to pick like one out of 15
like the guy does, like, everyone's just saying,
well ABEncytold us that this is the guy
we're gonna spend our lives with,
so we all got to go for it and fight for him
or we'll never be happy.
What the actual.
- Okay, like I'm sorry, we're talking about two-faced,
if you really feel like we're tight,
you probably shouldn't be pushing me either.
I don't think this needs to go very much further, honestly.
Like I hear what you're saying.
I don't want you to feel hurt,
like I 100% like validate you as a person,
and would love to move forward,
and continue forging a relationship.
- I hope to believe you right now because.
(laughing)
- What relationship?
we're supposed to be tight and I want to forge ahead.
We're all fighting for the same man.
And if I end up with him, are we gonna be buddies?
Are we gonna be chums, you're gonna come over for barbecues?
Like I don't understand this at all.
And I want to validate you as a person.
Sure.
If we're supposed to be tight,
don't be pushing me, what does it mean to be pushing me?
Oh, you mean like talking bad about me behind my back,
okay so like in a real friendship,
you would actually go to the person and talk to the person,
but no, she goes to the bachelor,
'cause she's trying to sabotage
the other one's chances because this is a game show.
It's a game show with sex because we are an evolved society.
- 'Cause, I just.
- Look at that smile.
- It's like, you are ridiculous.
- One of the red flags.
- Hurting feelings are a part of relationships though,
I don't know if that's necessarily a red flag.
- Bullship, bullship,
feelings being hurt are a part of a relationship,
hurting feelings implies like intent, hurting feelings,
I'm going to hurt your feelings now,
is not part of relationship, that's not some,
one ever seeks to do, that feelings get hurt,
I know it's just semantics.
(sighs deeply)
This is great, if you're watching it for fun,
if you're watching it for trash entertainment, I,
my worry is that they're young
impressionable people who watch this,
and this is how they think the game is played.
Here's how you play the game, you don't play any games.
You just be straight up and real.
Oh man, they are shooting each other the best looks though,
like the pain smiles, and the dagger eyes,
and the, oh, this is.
Can you imagine sitting down to have this conversation
with some cameras trained on you and like,
we're just gonna have a small intimate moment,
just us and millions of our best friends.
It's all performance, how can you be real?
- Feelings is a part of relationships though,
I don't know if that's necessarily a red flag.
- Two-faced is.
(sighs deeply)
- There's a rose ceremony tomorrow.
Connections are being made,
and we were left out of that tonight.
So I am really happy that you got time.
I'm not super happy that you got time.
(laughing)
- Is it the content, yeah.
- Yeah, but remember we had our conversation in there how.
- I do remember.
- To me, you and I got real in there,
but out here you're bringing up again like,
that's why I'm confused.
- Is she just out of here, she's out of here,
it's too emotional, she can't handle it.
- Shanea's like so stupid, they just go back and forth,
and back and forth, it's like, nobody cares.
- I'm happy to have a calm conversation with you.
- Okay.
I'll remember that, 'cause you lied to me in there.
(laughing)
- You did.
- I said I'm sorry that your feelings were hurt.
- But, and out here and open to everyone,
you're literally doggin' me.
- I love how the other women are just like,
oh do we have to be here for this, producers say we do.
- I loved you, I hugged you and I said,
I hope that we'd be better.
- So hang on, are they like sister wives now?
'Cause only one of them gets them,
but they're acting like no, we're like a sisterhood here,
like we'd been forced through the fire together.
This is the freaking Hunger Games,
you don't look out for the person next to you.
You fight to win.
Win or die, is this where the Hunger Games idea came from?
Like just take it one step further.
'Cause you give these women some weapons and game over,
like this is a whole new type of game,
they're already there.
- I didn't expect for the competition
to be so intense on night one.
(sighs deeply)
- Yeah, you said you have ADHD.
(laughing)
Right?
- I do have ADHD.
Do you want to talk to me about
more of my mental health issues?
- Do you guys understand how I'm feeling when I'm telling,
when someone's telling me in the room that everything's okay
and I love you and you come out here.
- I didn't say I love you,
at zero point did I say I love you.
(laughing)
- It's true, she didn't say that.
- I just came for the guy that I'm trying to get to know,
and you told him that I was two-faced, and a red flag.
- Okay, okay, I'm done, I'm done.
- That's fine.
- Done.
(laughing)
- Fake, fake, fake.
(laughing)
- So.
(laughing)
So here's the best part.
The best part is these other contestants who've been,
who are in this room right now, and they're just like,
nah, I don't, I don't want to be here,
this is just like summer camp.
This just takes me back to summer camp
when we're fighting over the hot,
like camp instructor, like this is.
(sighs deeply)
Again,
this is great junk food entertainment
to feel better about your own lives,
but don't aspire to this.
You could do so much better.
Oh, oh gosh, okay.
- ADHD my ass a hundred percent.
(laughing)
- These are deeply compassionate,
mature, level-headed people.
- I mean,
I was tossed the first non rose ceremony
rose of the entire season.
- [Producer] How's it smell?
- Like victory.
- Look, in a healthy friendship,
you're not going after the same person anyway, like it's,
I don't understand, we're all fighting for the same dude,
but we're all gonna try and be sisters and buddies.
None of this is real.
There's more reality in Pixar.
There's more emotional truth in an animated Pixar film
than there is in this so-called reality television.
It's great entertainment.
Lot of meaty, juicy drama, please, please,
please do not pattern your life after this.
I am struggling to find anything more insightful to say,
because I actually feel like I dropped some IQ points
just watching that,
like I'm not even accessing my smart therapist files,
I'm just, my mind is a little bit blown.
But yeah, if someone tells you, if you,
if you're struggling with mental illness,
don't use that as a card to excuse your bad behavior,
uh, you're still responsible for you,
if someone is telling you where they're coming from,
don't use that as a weapon against them,
seek to understand instead of to criticize.
If you've got a problem with somebody,
pull them aside and tell them to their face,
don't tell them to another person,
or a person in a position of authority,
'cause as much as I hate to say this,
The Bachelor has authority over these women,
this is very patriarchal,
he gets to say what happens with their lives.
I need a shower.
Speaking of reality TV,
David Archuleta recently came out as bisexual
and how he's trying to balance his sexuality with his faith.
I have thoughts on that, which you can watch right here.
What would you like me to react to from pop culture
or anything else going on in the news,
let me know in the comments below,
what are your takeaways from The Bachelor for good or ill,
let me know in the comments below.
You need help with your relationships,
meet with a member of our team
for a complimentary 15 minute consultation,
link is in the description.
And until next time,
keep shining because we need your light,
I'm Jonathan Decker, and this has been painful.
Here's the next video.
No, this one, this one's actually quite pleasant,
you'll like this one,
the one we just watched was ouch, ouch time.
- [Producer] Okay cut.