(electronic music)
(dog barking)
(ball clattering)
- [Young man] Order beer, not wine.
And beef, not chicken.
Never light beer, though.
And no tofu.
Can't get more gay than tofu.
(chattering)
(cheering)
Steer clear of the arts unless you
live on the coasts.
That means no theater, dancing, painting,
poetry or prose.
Too much reading is also risky, because it makes
you look soft and bookish.
What can I say, better safe than sorry.
Women gesture more when they speak, they call
this a "limp wrist."
When I was younger, I used to gesture a lot,
so I learned to keep my hands in my pockets.
Women cross their legs when they sit, men keep
their legs open.
Women hold books across their chests, men hold them
at their sides.
Women listen to pop music, men listen to rock.
Women sing to radio, men nod along.
(cheering)
Women wear bright colors like pink, yellow, and purple.
Men wear dark shades like blue, brown, green,
gray, and black.
Women play woodwind or string instruments, like the
violin or the flute.
Men play brass or percussion.
Women understand fashion, color, and design.
Men are better at math, mechanics, and home repair.
(distant music)
Women move their hips when they walk.
Men move their shoulders.
Women use exclamation points, men use periods.
(shouting)
Women sing, dance, and perform on stage.
Men play sports, watch sports, and talk about sports.
Women write in diaries.
Men journal.
Women cook, men grill.
Women second guess, men go with their gut.
Go big or go home.
(spanking)
Miguel Cabrera has a 338 batting average,
Tom Brady threw 4,770 yards last year.
The Dodge Ram tows 10,800 pounds, and the Bugatti
Super Sport goes from zero to 60 in 2.4 seconds.
In order to survive, a chameleon will change color
to blend in with its surroundings.
At a young age, I began to closely observe the people
around me, the way they talked, the way they walked,
what they said, where it got them.
Now I am no longer a person, but a set of social cues.
Faggot!
Not a person, but a path of least resistance.
(gentle music)