Yah, coming coming coming...
wait...
wait, wait...
Like a symphony going on,
everyone meowing away, meowing away.
OK everyone, come here.
I am the crazy cat lady that lives up the road, yeah.
Because you must be nuts to have 13 cats, right!?
Ruqxana is a Persian name and it means ‘beautiful’.
Growing up, I never saw myself as a beautiful person
so I was very embarrassed about my name.
When people asked me, ‘What does your name mean?’
I would say, ‘I don’t know’.
I wouldn’t tell them it’s ‘beautiful’
because I did not see myself as beautiful.
As I grew older I realised hey, you know...
I shouldn’t be thinking in that way.
You don’t have to conform to standards out there.
You just have to be who you are
and you have to accept the way you are.
Acceptance is the thing that made me happier in my life.
You know, I am beautiful the way I am.
That’s my name, Ruqxana... I am beautiful.
When people say, ‘I’m lonely’
I always wonder what that means because
honestly, I’ve never been lonely.
I’ve always had lots of friends around me.
Maybe it’s because...
maybe I make them laugh.
They don’t laugh with me, they laugh at me.
So I’m very, very fortunate.
I’m just so lucky.
Friends are people you choose
and these are my chosen tribe.
I cook for them food... I think that’s why I have so many friends.
I cook for them... that’s why... that’s the reason, yeah.
The Indian population do not express love by saying ‘I love you’.
They express love in other ways.
I think food is a very important way, when they cook for you a meal.
And they say, ‘Make sure you have your food, eat your food’.
‘You must have your food. Why are you not eating?’
To them that’s love because
they want to make sure you are healthy, you are ok.
I’ve been cooking since I was young
from the age of seven or so.
And I always enjoy cooking.
And what I enjoy more about cooking
is serving the food to people who enjoy having the meal.
When you sit there and you watch other people
enjoy the meal you’ve cooked for them
and watching them being happy.
It’s instantaneous. It’s right in front of you.
When you do something and instantly you realise
what you’ve done for them, makes them happy.
There’s so much love around a dinner table.
There’s conversation, people are eating food,
people are talking about food.
People are saying, ‘Have more’.
Oh, that’s the thing about Indian families...
have more, have more, I’m full, have more...
they don’t know how to stop.
And it’s such fun to do something that makes people happy.
That is just something amazing, right?!
I think one of the strongest things about love
is actually not about cooking and food.
It’s that they’re there for you when something bad happens,
they’re there for you when something sad happens.
My cat Fennel, when he was not well,
I was about to go away for a holiday.
And I was heartbroken. I didn’t know what to do with the cat.
But my good friends all said, ‘Don’t worry about it’.
‘We’ll come visit him at the vet’.
This is love you know... it’s not just about food...
it’s about being there for you
when you really, really need it at an emotional level.
Every action we have has an effect on somebody else, right.
Whether we consciously know it, or unconsciously.
We can’t see ourselves in isolation.
From the time we are born we are connected to other human beings,
to your mother, to your father, to your family.
I think that’s what makes us human, right?!
My cat Pepper, he had chronic kidney disease,
so I had to really look after him.
The first thing I’d do when I wake up is look out my window
to see whether he’s still there.
And if I see him alive, I say ‘aaah, I’ve got one more day with him’.
So every day, one more day with him, one more day with him.
Those were difficult times in my life
when I had to let them go.
It was time for them to pass on now.
That’s the hardest part, when they’re no longer there
and you look for them in their favourite spot.
They’re not there any more...
they used to sit here all the time...
they’re not there any more.
And it’s also tough because you have to keep the grief to yourself.
Because people don’t realise that you’re grieving for a cat.
Oh, your cat just passed away.
There are people who just think it’s just a cat you know...
get another cat or another dog.
They don’t understand that every animal is an individual,
they have their own personality.
When I know that they don’t have much time to live,
I always tell them, if you need to go then please go.
Don’t stay for my sake.
I thank them for coming into my life,
thank you for being with me.
You know, I think they chose me, right?!
I remember them in my meditation every day.
That’s my way... hoping that they will be at peace.
So I always say, ‘Hope you are at peace wherever you are’.
The Muslims, when they greet each other,
they say ‘As-salaam alaikum’...
‘May there be peace with you’.
I think that’s a beautiful greeting.
I always wish people peace, I always do.
Peace is a space whereby you don’t feel pain.
Peace is about joy, love, happiness.
It’s about being calm.
I wish everybody in this world would go to sleep not hungry,
everybody has a home or a shelter,
everybody is not sick, everybody is well,
and that there’s no war... that’s all.
You wish people peace and happiness
and I think that will equal love.