And you swallowed that octopus.
Oh my God! Oh my goodness!
You could have told me he was still alive.
Technically, it's not.
Well, it definitely stuck within my mouth, so...
It was a test.
Did I pass?
Barely.
Left to Your Own Devices
Calm down!
Is this a robbery?
What?
No, it's not a robbery.
Hey! You need to go right now!
This all went a lot smoother in my head.
Okay, the thing is... I already robbed this place.
While you were out of town.
Do you mind if we sit down?
No!
Thank you!
Okay, okay!
What?
Let me start by saying, this wasn't personal.
Okay?
At that time you were just two strangers with an apartment window that I probably shouldn't be open.
Sam, call the cops!
Please, don't! I know what I did was wrong.
And I'm just asking for the chance to make it right.
Here, I'll show you, okay?
Oh my God! Please, don't hurt us!
I forgot... I forgot that it was even in there.
It's fine! Take whatever you want!
No, it's not what you think. It's...
Here, here...
Oh, also I stole your vacuum.
But I think it was like that before I got here.
Why are you doing this?
Why? Well, I was going through your stuff last week and...
By the way you really need to learn to set the passcodes on these things.
Anyways.
I was a better wipe everything when I heard this ringing in my bag.
It was a notification for Annie's birthday.
And I think to myself who's that Annie, right?
So... I start digging through emails and photos, videos...
Pretty soon not only did I know who Annie was, but I feel like I know everything about her and Sam too.
I realized I ain't just steal electronics.
I took a part of your lives.
And when I got to the end...
When there's nothing left...
They hit me.
I felt awful.
And I knew I had to bring your stuff back.
Plus calendar said you wouldn't be on for another hour.
Traffic was light.
That's all you have to say?
What? I don't know what to say, alright?
That's a pretty profound version, don't you think?
He broke in and took a shiv into our lives and you just...
Don't worry Annie! Your secrets are save with me.
What secrets?
What's he talking about?
For what is worst, she wanted to tell you.
You can't be serious right now.
Maybe, it would be better if everything would be just out in the open, you know.
Okay, what's he talking about?
She didn't get the fellowship at Wycoff.
I thought you ain't gotta know until we get back.
It's okay!
Steve has been really helping her through it.
From the food co-ob?
That Steve?
Who, the hell, are you to come here and share that?
I was just trying to do the right thing.
I don't believe you!
Ann, put the gun down!
Sam, this is what she needs.
It's okay!
He's a liar! I'll prove it.
Empty your pockets!
Over there!
Okay!
Markus.
Now, I'm going to come on your phone.
And comb through your life.
See if it moves us the way our lives moved you.
If it does, we'll let you go.
And if not...
It's locked!
Okay, you are right!
I'm not a good person.
But I'm trying!
Like you!
That's why I came back!
We are the same!
We are not the same!
Markus.
Now give me the passcode.
Can I just type it in? It's the same passcode for everything.
No, you cannot type it in!
It's 6969.
Really?
Into the bathroom!
Okay, is that a chair?
What are you doing?
Looking for answers.
Markus didn't seem to have trouble finding them.
What do you wanna know?
I wanna know why my girlfriend already talked to produce guy a co-op than her own boyfriend.
I mean, do you know, how ridiculous that sounds?
Are you talking that over?
I'm not sleeping with Steve.
Then what is he doing?
I was scared!
And Steve went through the same thing with his Fulbright.
I just wanted time to come up with a plan.
Well... How's that working out for you?
Guys?
I think I broke something!
Look, you don't have to do this.
Yes, I am.
I do.
Is that a..?
He really is trying.
Sam!
Don't shoot!
I swear, I did't know someone's home.
Anne, call cops!
Hey, put your hands back up!
You're joking, right?
No!
It's not a real gun!
But... No, no!
I screw this!
Oh, I'll be taking that!
Nice!
Oh, thank you!
Not a bad day of work, guys.
I'm getting your phones too.
Your phones.
Are you, guys, okay?
Yeah! Yeah, I think so.
I guess, I should have told you it wasn't real sooner.
I thought it made you feel better.
No!
Not even a little bit!
Oh and sorry about the cake it was supposed to say...
I love it!
Good!
Can I ask a favor?
What is it?
Thing is...
I have a lot more stolen stuff to return today
and having a photo of this probably
speed things up at the other apartments I have to go to.
Yeah! You have my phone.
Nice!
Great! I'll send you a copy.
On second thought what if we exchange numbers?
In case I need it.
As a reference.
Here.
Why ain't I give you my number and then you can call me, like you know me five years.