(upbeat club music)
- Let's go to the bar. Two vodka soda's.
- I'm bout to get beep up tonight.
- My man Vinny is wiling out, I don't know
what is in his keto diet but all I do know is
he doesn't take many carbs so he gets drunk fast.
(upbeat music)
- We haven't been out in a long long time,
so I am like I have to beat the beat up.
I do this thing where like as the beats
building up there is like a locked door
in front of me and I am like really frustrated
the beats building, the beats building
I start pounding on the door and as soon as
the beat drops,
I kick the door open and I start going in
there like a mad man and beep everyone in the room up.
(upbeat music)
- So Nicole went from like fun Nicole to crazy
piss drunk nasty Nicole.
(upbeat music)
I mean she can barely stand up straight. When her
eyes start separating its like the bat signal
in our house like wrap it up.
- Everybody put your drinks in the air.
- I just met my perfect Pauly D wifey right there
and now we all leaving. Meatball problems.
(girl screaming)
- Everything is right in the world
the planets have all aligned, Snooki can still
turn the *beep* up.
- Your nipple is out, let's go, in the cab, right now.
I am putting her in. Oh my god.
- Eh she is down, this vacation is going to be
the biggest *beep* show Miami has ever seen.
- Oh my god, Nicole!
- Nicole!
- Get in this car you *beep* gueto.
- I am looking around and I am realizing
that we not these like wiser, mature people we still
the same *beep* show that was around five years ago.
- Ow imma get out your so aggressive.
Oh my god you are so rude, stop it [Inaudible]
- Don't punch me in the face.
- I am *beep* done.
- No don't be done, brothers and sisters fight.
- Don't slap me in the face.
- Brothers and sisters fight I've seen it happen
before cause I have a sister.
- I have to pee, I have to pee really bad.
- Look, look down.
- I don't want you to touch me.
- Yo where did my wife go, she was like *beep*
- I don't know, I don't know.
- DJ Pauly D's type was that girl like I need
her to come back but *beep* me right
what do I care I just DJ. Do you know why I took that
job cause it was the easiest one to spell DJ.
- Are we here already?
- Ow
- Yo why is it so dark in here.
(high pitched girl scream)
- Wait what isn't this our house?
- The switches don't work, nah here we go power
is out, nothing just dark.
- Ow, ugh.
- It turned that whole house into chaos.
- Oh *beep* there is glass there be careful.
- I just broke a lot of things.
- We have six drunk gueto's, no power and no
lights in the house.
(high pitched girl scream)
- Sorry about that.
- You stepped on me.
- Why are the lights out.
- If this night wasn't already as messed up
it just got worse.
- I'm going pee pee.
- Nicole it's to dark.
- Just everyone go away, I am going in the pool.
- Nicole!
- I wanna *beep* pee!
- No don't go, wait wait.
- Let her, let her.
- *beep* why?
- Yo you can't do that.
- Just let it happen.
- Yeah it's fine pee baby, you pee, love you.
- Nicole stop.
- Oh my god, oh my oh my god!
- That pool's not heated.
- I'm pissing.
- Do it baby.
- What the *beep*.
- Some things just don't change.
- Guys this is a epic *beep* first night.
- I will take this one.
- Meatball day, meatball day, meatball day.
(upbeat music)
- Whoop
- Meatball is like a lifestyle when it comes to
you love drinking, you're small, you can
fit into small spaces and spots. A meatball will
always be honest and tell it like it is.
That's what it means to be a meatball.
- Meatball day.
(upbeat music)
- Spiraling Nicole and Angelina is like
pasta, sauce and meatballs.
(upbeat music)
- Ew, ew I hate this so much.
- Looks like the storm has calmed
and Nicole and Angelina are getting along.
- She's driving.
- Nicole!
- Stop.
- Now she's happy.
- Stop.
- A gross that's a raunch.
- Let's try alright like lets, lets. lets try.
- Oh my god (inaudible)
- We should go home, lets go home.
- Doing meatball day with Angelina wasn't as bad
as I thought it would be, so I guess two peas
in a pod. I kinda like her. I actually
like you, I do like you.
- I'm normal, I'm *beep* normal.
- Yeah I had fun with you.
- This is a great meatball day very saucy.
- (inaudible)
- We're going to have so much fun.
- So much fun.
- We're going to have so much fun.
- The palace has the best drag brunch in Miami
and I am super excited.
- Are we close?
- Ah yeah we're here.
- Cool.
(upbeat music)
- Basically this place has everything I like
food, a drink, can I have another pino and a gay.
Oh a bacon, you love him, yes!
Like my three best things, this is *beep* living.
This is going to be an amazing day.
- [Announcer] Let's go boy!
(crowd cheering)
- There is something about gay bars,
they so vibrant, full of life, give
me a drag show and see Jenny come alive.
(upbeat music)
- The drag queens start coming out and I am
like oh my god they are beautiful.
(upbeat music)
- I am like a kid in a candy store watching
these girls perform, they can turn it up,
back flip, dropping it like it's hot, knowing that
they can destroy me on the dance floor any second.
(upbeat music)
- I see Deena going like this, I'm like oh think
it's 'bout time to leave girl.
- We've, you have my purse right?
- I have your purse, let's go.
- You got me really drunk today, you did.
- I'm going to put you down for a nap B.
- Yeah
- This meatball is a little to sauced.
- I can't hang the way I used to.
- Hello
- Hi
- Hello
- Sup *beep*
- The door is a little stuck, do you want to go out?
- Oh god did you go to the palace?
- Yes
- She needs to go to bed.
- I do need to go to bed, I need to go to sleep.
- No, she needs to go to bed so hard.
- These girls are wasted, I love it,
I'm like welcome to the spiral squad.
- I'm tired.
(suspenseful music)
- I, I'm not going out I need to go back the room.
- We have a meatball down.
- I can't drink like I used to and I am exhausted.
- I don't think Deena's gonna make it tonight.
- I can't do anymore.
- Yeah your, your face shows it.
- Drink the rest, a little bit more water.
- No she's, she's done.
- No I am done.
- I thought that these girls where gonna go crazy
I mean look this bachelorette party
is for Angelina like she is a crazy person. I thought
that they where gonna be getting ratchet here.
- You want me to come with you?
- No it's your bachelorette, go out.
I just need to go to bed.
- Listen sometimes you gotta, you gotta
call your battles sometimes. The designation is on duty.
(Upbeat introduction music)
- My duties are to get my room mates home
safe and sound. The designation makes sure
that you get home safe. The designation in the house.
- I owe you my life.
- The designation again, guys we gonna wait for the taxi
to get here, so you guys go on and enjoy your night.
- Yeah have so much fun.
- Its a bird, its a plane, no it's just the designation.
- Love you guys.
- Thanks for bringing her home Mike.
- I love you.
- Good night girls *beep*
- Sorry to get titties.
- We will get together we will grab breakfast.
- Of course me and Nicole last frikken two standing.
- Aw *beep* as usual *beep* (inaudible)
(laughing)
- I am having so much fun with Nicole. I mean Nicole
and me, I don't understand it we're like kids.
- Get these balloons outta my way.
- I love the girl.
- Come on lets go, it's your man.
- Ah it's Chris.
- Is there really a blow hole where his *beep* is?
- Lets figure it out.
Is it gone?
- Oh my god you're hurting his peche.
- It says blow here.
♪ i wanna lay you down and give it to you in your lay ♪
- That is going to pop, you are sitting on his face.
- Girl if you do these moves on the wedding night
- Reverse cowgirl bitches.
- You definitely getting pregnant.
- Sorry Chris this is really uncomfortable.
- Where's Nicky?
- I don't know.
- We where with the kids, didn't see her today.
- Maybe she's with Angelina.
- Maybe.
- Mister bartender can I have a to go cup please?
- Do you really need to take that?
- A bitch gotta drink. Someone's gotta *beep*
turn up in this bitch. Cause I'm *beep*
on vacation, I'm spitting, sorry I didn't mean to spit.
- Did you, just say it don't spray it.
- You're my girl like you ride me around
you wanna *beep* drive me.
- What? I wanna drive you? Are we going steady?
- All right we going steady, cheers we going steady bitch.
- No.
- Get the *beep* outta here I am making you
cheers and you *beep*, do you have to go?
- No.
- All right.
- I'm potty trained.
- I'm not. I've peed many times in my pants,I'm just saying.
I feel like this is a good lunch
and we had fun and me and you always vibed.
Ever since I met you, me and her, have been,
we've always vibed.
- We're cool.
- Can I have a tito's and club please to go.
- Like we're good.
- Why you looking at me for validation?
Your like we've been cool right.
- *beep* you bitch.
- Can't you just say it? Like we're.
- We're good I'm just saying, I *beep*
- You have one.
- Oh no.
- What do you mean no?
- I'm drinking for ten people.
- She's like we're, we're good right.
Like what. Anyways this *beep* already to long. Let's go.
(girls laughing)
- Yoh Chris.
- Yeah
- Where the *beep* are our girlfriends?
- I have no clue.
- Why are you still drinking?
- They've been gone all day.
- I'm thinking that they went like bar hopping.
- Cheers to the *beep* Poconos living life.
- Who knows.
- Oh god.
- What those two got into.
(tires screeching)
- We're here .
- I needed that laugh man.
- I'm dead.
- Ten minutes.
- The underneath tape we gonna have to go
all the way around from side to the other side,
side to the other side so there is no seam.
- Get it Pauly.
- Pauly, Pauly, Pauly, Pauly, Pauly, Pauly.
and, and Jenni's doing good too. Jenni, Jenni, Jenni.
Oh mikes holding it, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike.
- I did to *beep*
- Did you touch it?
- I touched it.
- All right, Angelina, Angelina.
- I just spiited a little bit.
- What's gonna be our boat name? Bear boat.
- Speedy bear.
- Speedy bear I like that.
- Speedy bear is definitely going to crush the roomies.
- This is nice guys, uh.
- Five minutes.
- We don't got enough time to do the whole thing.
- But you guys got this.
- Oh my god we gotta go, we have one minute left.
- Come on team.
- There we go look at that .
- Speedy bear, Speedy bear, Speedy bear.
- We're going to win lets go.
- We never let our meatball sink unless it's in sauce.
- Sidepiece, sidepiece.
- You ready?
- Yeah.
(laughter)
- Oh its hot up in here.
- Team sidepiece in the building.
- Boo.
- Oh my god they are here.
- Boo!
- Good luck guys.
- Speedy bear.
- Good luck guys.
- Speedy bear.
- The significant others want to take us down.
- We don't gotta boo them, we're better sportsmen than them.
I can just feel the competitiveness,
no body wants to loose here.
- So what is happening?
- You guys are racing, you vs affie bear.
- You ready?
- Yes.
- Yeah
- What you talking about?
- Nicole is meatball wasted I mean that is kind
of expected when the meatballs are around.
I'm jealous I wish I was able to drink with her
cause then at least she wouldn't be by herself
in this state you know.
- She's my mom.
- But I don't know if she is going to be able to
pull this off and get in the boat.
- Jenni get ready to save her.
- I'm not jumping in.
- She might drown.
- You not going in?
- Do you want me to go in instead?
- You want to watch instead? Angelina sub in lets go.
- All right. I wanna take one for the team right now.
- No (inaudible)
- Geez louise, she does not belong in that water.
- No.
- And I am going to get in that boat because
I wanna win this *beep*
- You ready hunny? Oo your eyelash.
- Yeah I'm all right.
I feel like I am going to pass away
because I drank way to much, I got to excited
about my mom vacation and I just, I went to hard
and now I am dying so.
- You good?
- I love you
- You too
- I will see you there?
- I will see you there, we're going.
- We're going to the same spot.
- Me and Chris are kind of, you know,
getting ready for our second kid over here.
- My meatball, my little meat ball.
- No, your fine, your fine.
- Lets get you inside.
- Nicole you want a snack?
- (inaudible)
- Right.
- Your gonna relax.
- I am relaxed.
- No, before the party.
- I'm very relaxed.
- I know you relaxed, your extremely relaxed.
- You wanna lay down here?
- Yeah for a second.
- All right go ahead. She'll be all right.
Once she sleeps it off she'll be fine.
All right I am going to go get ready. You good?
- Yeah.
- All right I will see you in a little. Love you meatball.
(upbeat music)
- She'll be all right, she's going to fall asleep.
- Stop it, is that a carrot cake?
- That is a carrot cake.
- I love carrot cake actually.
- (gasp) I'm throwing, I'm throwing *beep* around.
It's your birthday. I love you both for like
being so into each other, but like the best friend is here.
I'm here because I love Jwow.
You so hot, she's my best friend and
I really want to be there for my besties.
Your titties look really hot, I'm honestly
having a *beep* ball I can't wait to get out there
so I can find my drink and enjoy myself.
It's my best friend, she's really hot,
she's got like great tits, I love her so much.
Thank you, at this point I just want to get drunk
because I'm tryna have a good time.
- You good for the cheering, okay
I'll see you back stage have a good show, break a leg.
- *beep* drink it though?
- Break a leg sweetie.
- Live your life bitches, rise up bitches
this is so fun. I will do tito's and seltzer.
Urgh I am like living, this is amazing.
If you looked at me would you be like oh she has 3 kids?
- Really? Thank you, its like my goal in life.
Honestly it feels like the good old days
(inaudible)
I feel like I'm 21 again and the best friend is here.
- Oh my god.
- I am trying to get down.
- I miss my meatball days with Nicole so much I'm jealous
of Nicole I wish I was able to drink with her.
- Can I get some help?
- Meatball problems.
- Ow my vagine, okay okay, I'm here!
Its your birthday bitch.
- God I missed Nicole, this is what I miss,
this is the missing piece.
- How hot is Jwow? At 55.
- You can't get better than this. *beep*
- We're just tryna have fun. We're wasting.
Its time to get wild, get your *beep* together
we are doing a shot for Jwow, lets kill it.
- I love birthdays.
- Jenni, jenni, jenni cheers my hunny
I love you so much, I love you.
- Cheers uncle Neno.
- For now till the end of forever. Love you.
- Beautiful, thank you uncle Neno.
I'm drunk as *beep* right now so I don't know *beep*
thank you, beautiful. This looks cute, beautiful.
(laughter)
- Watching Nicole is like the animal planet
its like she becomes this, a snooki,
here in the outback you will only see
a snooki on a rare occasions for Jwow's birthday
or soberverary.
(upbeat music)
she's really eating up.
- Get over yourself.
- She's not talking to me. She couldn't hear me
if I was standing in front of her face.
And now its back on the loose again
there she goes, a rare snooki. As it does the snooki
mating dance and it calls out other snooki's,
it dances around and over the tracks,
the perfect mate. It's doing the mating call.
Chomps on a carrot in it's mouth with no hands.
As the snooki goes back to the buffet.
- I'm hungry.
- Now the snooki grazes through its natural habitat.
- I'd like a drink.
- The bar.
- I mean thank you, take care.