Hey, it's Mark here, founder of Make Him Yours and creator of the Find Love in Five Steps
system. Today, we're discussing insecurities. So we all have them and some obviously more
than others. Today, what I'm going to do is explain exactly how to date and manage your
relationship with a guy who's a little bit more insecure. Stay tuned.
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Welcome again! And so today I am talking insecurities and how to find happiness in a relationship
with a guy who's a little bit or moderately insecure. First things first, what do I really
mean when I talk about an insecure guy? Well, I've spoken to a lot of women who have dated
insecure guys and if that's you, you probably know what I'm talking about. But if you're
not sure, you know, typical insecure behaviors that affect our relationship could be, for
example, wanting to know where you'll be and what time you'll be home after a girls' night.
He might be snoopy with your emails or your phone and you know, always want to know
who you're talking to or he could be extra judgmental of you or others even, for example,
on what you wear or things you do, which often is actually a reflection of his own insecurity
is coming back.
So how does this affect the relationship and why is it important to know what to do?
Well, if you've ever experienced it, you'll know insecurity from a guy can be really suffocating
and inhibiting when you're in a relationship and can really often lead to resentment. The
problems though can worsen because to avoid conflicts, it's often tempting to kind of
almost fold to a guy's insecurity, you know, let him go through your phone rather than
have another fight about it. This averse, you know, that fight in the short term, but
it can actually enable the behavior in the longer term. And that's what you've got to
watch. For the right guy who's willing to work with you a little, a little, a moderate
amount of insecurity can be managed for a really healthy and happy relationship. So
what I want to give you today is five things that you can use right now when you're dealing
with insecurities and men.
So number one is that you can't love him out of it. So you've got to be really careful and
aware of having a kind of rescuer mindset when it comes to insecure guys. Both men and
women, we're all guilty of seeing someone with insecurities and kind of taking up the
Hollywood myth as it were to be, you know, the knight in shining armor whose love finally
allows them to be free of their burdens and feel safe. Unfortunately, in reality, it kind
of works the opposite way because if you love him the most, when he's the most insecure,
it communicates well that he gets the most love when he's the most insecure, that's just
going to make him want to be insecure more. Now, this isn't to say that you can't reassure
him, and you will have to do that probably more than you'd have to reassure, say a more confident guy.
But if you reassure him endlessly at his beck and call, you're actually going to make that
insecurity worse rather than better because he's kind of like going to be trained into it.
So the second thing is, keep in mind it's not your fault. So insecure people often blame
their insecurities on their partners. You've got to make sure you don't buy into that.
When it comes out with the whole, "You made me jealous by flirting with that guy," or "You
know, I'm only checking in with you so often because I love you," you cannot, cannot buy
into that. If you start changing your behavior to accommodate his insecurity, you go into
like a downward spiral about the two of you probably won't come back from.
Number three is keep doing the things that make you you. So if going out with the girls and dressing
up nicely is something you enjoy before you met him, it's something you should keep up.
If you have a particular hobby you enjoy before you met him, you should keep that up too.
Don't let his, that's his insecurities, inhibit innocent things that you enjoy doing.
You have to look after yourself as well as the relationship.
Tip number four, hold onto some privacy.
So ironically, holding onto your privacy is actually the best way to help an
insecure man deal with his problem because it forces him to confront it. When you draw
a line in the sand and say, "No, I am trustworthy. I do love you, and you may not go through my
phone at will." It forces him to confront his fear. And as long as he stays with you, he's
going to have to continue to confront it and learn to manage it.
And finally, number five, you have to name it and he has to recognize it.
So if his insecurity is getting to the point where it's affecting the relationship and is frustrating you,
you have to sit him down and address it.
It's hard. But you've got to call a spade a spade. You can say something like, "Babe,
you know I love you, but we need to talk about why your insecurities are coming up in this
way, and what we can do about them because this needs to change right now. I love you.
So are you willing to work with me on learning to trust me?" See how responsive he is. When
you say something like that, if he becomes defensive or denies it and blames you and
that tells you, he may not be the type of guy who wants to grow into the relationship
you want, but on the other hand, if he has the self awareness to listen to you and recognize
it in himself, there's a good chance his insecurity can be managed in the future so that you two
can thrive as a happy couple.
So look, in summary, insecurity can be frustrating to live with, but you can absolutely still
have a great relationship through it is his problem that he has to be able to recognize
and then work on himself. Your role is as a supporter and to make sure you're not doing
anything to further enable it. Well look, thanks so much for watching! I hope you enjoyed
today's video. If you want to learn more about how to date particular types of men, make
sure to click the link in the description below. You will receive my free report on
the 10 Male Dating Personalities That Can Lead To Heartbreak. It discusses many of the
most commonly found male dating personalities so that you know exactly what they are and
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if you enjoy. Thanks so much for watching again all! I will talk to you very soon.