We've all been there before: you're in love, you think everything's going great and then...
Um, we have to break up.
Well, you just lost a fan.
If you found yourself in this situation, I know how you feel.
Sorry
You can't eat, you can't sleep, all you can do is cry, think about your ex, what went wrong
And why you're such an unlovable piece of shit
But listen to me: you're going to be okay. Not now, not anytime soon;
but, eventually, and with the help of
friends, friends, friends, friends, friends, friends. You need your support network right now more than ever.
So call your friends or family and ask them to come over, or just get on the phone to talk or schedule a lunch or
dinner or whatever. You're gonna
have a lot of free time on your schedule between all the crying and crying that you're doing, and that's when you want to lean
on the people who love you; a lot.
Because that's an opportunity to process this
relationship without all the negative
spiraling that you're bound to do in your own time because your support network is gonna say really supportive things that you won't say to
yourself. Things like:
"He wasn't right for you.
I didn't say anything at the time, but you know we all knew you guys weren't a great match."
"You're amazing you're gonna find someone who understands you and appreciates you and wants to work it out."
"I love you. I'm so sorry this is happening."
"Do you want some tea?"
When you're not leaning on your friends, pick up old or new hobbies. You're gonna
have a lot of free time on your hands, as I mentioned, and a very active
anxious mind to occupy and I please encourage you to not make drinking, smoking, or any other unhealthy form of escapism a hobby.
Because I have done that before and it just prolongs your grieving process gives you a lot of bad tweets.
And, you know, just doesn't make you feel very good so pick up something that you love
but you haven't tried it in a while, or something that you've always wanted to try. With my blindside breakup,
I finally decided, like, I'm gonna try to cope with this in a very healthy way. And, over the last month
I read, like, 30 books I spent 40 hours getting reacquainted with drawing and poetry,
meditated twice a day for 20 minutes, took a weekly yoga class, journaled a fuck ton, time saw two therapists and a life coach;
Yeah, I was, it was a lot.
But, that said, I do know that this breakup is gonna be all you think about all the time so try to
understand what you're going through.
And, if possible, embrace it because chemically, your brain is going through the same withdrawal process as a
cocaine addict. This is why it hurts so bad
*aaaahhhAaaaaAHAHAhhAAAA*
Oh God, oh
Grieving and crying
suck ass, but they're a very natural part of the process. And I know this is not what anyone wants to hear right now,
it's not what I wanted to hear, but try to take this opportunity as
something good to transform yourself.
You know, my friend told me to, like, try to make this breakup the best thing that ever happened to me.
And, I know, you like hate them for saying it,
but at the same time if you try to work towards making that statement true
you take a lot of actions in your life that are really healthy and good for you, because you get to choose how to
handle this breakup, and how you're gonna transform from it.
So, are you gonna be a victim and be like really sad? Longer than necessary, because grieving is important;
Or, are you gonna get the best revenge
possible by just leveling the fuck up as a person and really empowering yourself and being the most successful greatest version of yourself possible?
I'm Anna Akana. I'm very sorry that you're hurting and also if you do not know Dodie. Please check her out
She's an amazing singer/songwriter and an advocate of mental health awareness
Her book is really great for those of you who have depression. It helped me a lot, and also helped me with my breakup.
She's just fantastic, and if you need a good cry listen to her song '6/10.'
which I love. All right, stay right here for a sponsored message. *in a sad voice* I wanna say thank you to Squarespace for sponsoring today's episode.
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