[Applause]
why do we put our kids into youth sports
oftentimes it's lost about the athletics
development of the sport and more about
the life lessons that we want them to
learn I mean think about it no parent is
putting their 12 year old into
volleyball because they expect her to be
the next Katherine Plummer that's a
little unrealistic we want them to learn
about teamwork cooperation and hard work
but unfortunately once our children past
the age of 14 our youth sports lose a
lot of the lessons that they are once
intended to teach and it's not because
when our children get older they have an
increased pressure on them and they're
facing increased competition it's
actually because we've stopped letting
older kids compete and we've stopped
letting older kids feel some of that
pressure I'm Erin I'm a senior here at
Deerfield and I've played competitive
sports my whole life and I've been on a
travel volleyball team since my freshman
year and I've been on our varsity
volleyball team since I was a sophomore
so I've been around the competitive
youth athletic circuit for a little
while and I know from my own experience
and my teammates that competition is not
a bad thing and sometimes not playing
isn't necessarily a bad thing either it
teaches kids patience how to work hard
how to be resilient and how to be
determined throughout that entire
process it also teaches you how to
outwork other players and other teams on
the court which is something that
becomes really important as you enter a
job market and this isn't just
hypothetical the year that I saw the
biggest personal growth in my skill was
my 16s club season and it was after I
sat the bench for most of my first
varsity season and yeah you can make an
argument that being on Garci as a
sophomore is an achievement but to me it
was more of a setback because I wasn't
playing I wanted to be on the court and
that feeling of being second and third
best ignited a fire in me I wanted to be
I wanted to play I wanted to get my shop
so I worked incredibly hard I worked
harder than I ever have before and that
is something that you need kids need to
learn how to work hard so the problem
isn't competition or decreased playtime
it's that we forget that older kids need
to learn lessons for older kids 15 year
olds don't need to focus on teamwork and
cooperation of course these are
incredible values and they can be
reinforced but by the time our young
athletes get to high school most of them
have been playing sports for nearly a
decade or the very least the vast
majority of their life so these values
of teamwork and cooperation that are
universal in every sport don't
necessarily need to be reinforced just
because you're now in a new school or
you are playing a different sport when
kids get older they need to learn about
the importance of competition you need
to learn some of the hard lessons that
you're not always going to win you're
not always going to play and not
everyone gets a trophy because
unfortunately that's the way that life
works but we've forgotten about these
important lessons we have rules to
ensure that everybody plays even on some
varsity and travel club teams but that's
no longer a competitive team it's no
longer designed to win it's a
recreational team and there's nothing
wrong with recreational teams because
everybody should get active and try new
things but a recreational team should
not be disguised as a competitive team
meant to teach young people lessons
about competition because to learn about
competition you need
for some reason we have given up on
competing in youth sports and flavor in
favor of it everybody plays mentality
and everybody plays is great for middle
and elementary school kids or anywhere
where the team is not necessarily
focused on winning and losing but the
development of athleticism and key
values of teamwork and cooperation but
I've said it before and I'll say it a
few more times older kids need to learn
lessons for older kids they need to play
to win they need to compete with
teammates for playing time and they must
experience true competition in an
athletic arena because once they get
into the real world and into college you
have to compete with people for numerous
things not just for a championship you
don't get an A in class because you want
it you get one because you work hard and
you learn the material you don't get a
job because you want that dog or you
think it's a good fit for you you get it
because you worked hard to meet the
qualifications and you gave a good
interview and they chose to hire you
when our youth sports aren't competitive
it puts our older children at a
disadvantage because they begin to
expect things they expect to get into
their college of choice they expect to
get a job right after graduation and
they expect to achieve a high GPA when
the truth that any college graduate or
older student will tell you is that
these aren't things you can expect
they're things that you need a little
bit of luck and a lot of hard work to
achieve competitive youth sports are
forgetting to value the hard work that
goes into competition and while your
coach will tell you that of course they
value hard work and competition
above everything else the fact is that
when you don't let kids compete you
place these values on the back burner
every coach that I have ever had has
come to a point in the season or in a
match where they call a timeout and they
tell us you're not losing because the
other team is better than you
you're not losing because you aren't
talented or because you're you're not
athletic enough you're losing because
you're not playing like you want it
you're not acting like you're on the
court fighting for a goal because you
want it one of the most important things
that we can learn from youth athletics
is how to want things and how to work
really hard because we want them so the
problem with a reduction of competition
in youth sports is that these crucial
values are lost because we have begun to
allow coaches we've begun to allow
parents and players to dictate play time
the competitiveness of an environment
and how the team is run which plays into
the everybody plays attitude that
belongs in recreational soccer leagues
and the sparks and entitlement and our
older athletes older kids need to use
athletics as a way to check their
entitlement especially in privileged
areas in many areas where children are
privileged in some way socioeconomic or
otherwise competition is needed to
prepare us for a world outside of this
bubble of privilege but we end up
playing into our children's and
that when our competitive sports adopt
and everybody plays mentality or allow
parents to tell coaches what to do or
allow parents and players to complain so
much that a child plays over an
objectively more skilled player a few of
my former coaches have explicitly told
teammates of mine that a weaker player
was going to play over them regardless
of the skill level and unfortunately
many of other many other coaches that
I've had have done the same thing and
just not told us about it the biggest
problem is that this sets both players
up to fail the weaker player is being
taught that her entitlement is founded
and that she can expect things and the
stronger player begins to question the
value of her hard work I mean put
yourself in her shoes if you showed up
to practice and worked your butt off and
you didn't get a chance to be on the
court you didn't get a chance to compete
that just tells you that your hard work
is not valued additionally parents
constantly claim that their child is not
playing we're not starting or not
playing in the position that they want
to because of politics and of course
this is the case sometimes like I just
said it can be the case but it's telling
them the way that parents allow our
children to shy away from a challenging
situation whatever that may be the
attitude that nothing can be done about
a less than desired result because of
politics shelters our children from
competition and thus personal and
athletic growth I have been in the
Deerfield volleyball program for four
years and every year we have athletes
who decide not to retry out for any one
of our various teams and usually if I'm
close enough with them I asked them why
they didn't try out and the answer that
I get a lot of the time is well I was
going to get caught anyways and I often
applaud these players for taking a step
back and reflecting on their skill level
or their
for the game because if they don't want
to play then they shouldn't have to
that's up to them but I always wonder if
there's a bigger problem that our
student that our athletes are choosing
to quit instead of risk getting cut
because if your biggest fear is that you
might not be good enough then what's the
harm in trying anyways because I promise
the world will not implode if you do not
make the volleyball team in our small
Midwestern high school at least I hope
it wouldn't modern news sports aren't
combating this fear of failure or the
privilege that some of our children have
in fact we play right into it which is a
huge problem when we consider that youth
sports have long been the training
ground of our future leaders and
innovators who cannot be afraid to
compete and fail we don't want our
children to grow up thinking that
everything will come to them because we
know that it won't so why do we allow
this attitude to take over why do we
allow our young athletes to expect to
play upon a competitive high school and
plug teams the short answer is that we
want our children to be successful from
a young age and we want to watch them
succeed we want to see them play well
and play a lot and we want to see them
win and our coaches and parents have the
best of intentions but they're actually
causing more harm than good when we
prevent our children from growing and
learning from the losses and failures
that they experience when they compete
kids won't learn unless we let them fall
down a few times we permit our children
to grow up entitled and expecting things
then they will never learn about
resiliency or
and they will never see the value of
competition competition at its core has
a lot of value not just in sports but in
life and children who are permitted to
enter adulthood with the lack of
exposure to competing will come to
despise competition simply because
they've never lost and this just sets
our kids up to fail if our children
can't handle the pressure of competing
and potentially losing or failing
sometimes then they'll never compete and
they'll never win our youth sports are
failing to develop the essential skills
and traits the competition and failure
teach our young people and we're all to
blame
it's not just coaches who play some
athletes and don't play others or
coaches who play everyone regardless of
skill level it's not just parents who
complain when their child doesn't play
instead of asking what she could do to
improve it's not just our players who
blame politics for decisions that could
be skill based if they took a step back
- honestly reflect we've allowed our
young athletes to make excuses we've
allowed them to become entitled and lose
the value of hard work and competition
and we need to change this attitude or
else the lessons that youth sports were
meant to teach our older children will
be lost and one of the biggest breeding
grounds for our future leaders and our
determined
resilient intelligent and competitive
leaders will fail to generate the people
that we need and we will have to find
them elsewhere if they will even exist
so I urge every current or future
athlete coach and parents to think about
what kind of attitude they want to build
in themselves their players and their
children we want to see ourselves and
our children
succeed and our young athletic and
Duggar's but at what cost
if youth sports continue the way that
they're going we will lose many of the
benefits and struggle to teach our
children some of the most important
lessons that there have to learn in life
so I urge you let sports stay
competitive let your children players
and selves push their limits compete
with passion and yes even fail sometimes
I promise that they'll be stronger
people for it
[Applause]