AS WE GO TO OUR NEXT GAME, STREET TOUGH.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
TODAY IS SESAME STREET DAY, THE ANNIVERSARY OF THE SHOW THAT
TEACHES KIDS IMPORTANT STUFF LIKE "THE ALPHABET" AND "HOW TO
LIVE IN YOUR OWN TRASH."
"SESAME STREET" CHURNED OUT A LOT OF CLASSIC KIDS TUNES OVER
THE YEARS, MOST OF THEM STUCK IN MY HEAD.
MAYBE I STILL WATCH IT EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE.
BUT MAYBE NONE MORE ICONIC THAN KERMIT THE FROG'S "IT'S NOT
EASY BEING GREEN."
YA, THAT'S HOW YOU [BEEP] ROCK A KERMIT.
NOWADAYS, THOUGH, IT ACTUALLY SEEMS REAL EASY BEING GREEN.
I MEAN, KERMIT'S GOT AN ABC SITCOM AND THINGS ARE GOING
GREAT WITH MISS PIGGY...AT LEAST, ACCORDING TO THIS
PAINTING WE FOUND ON ETSY: LOOK EVERYTHING IS GREAT.
THAT'LL DO, PIG.
THAT'LL DO.
COMEDIANS, LET'S REVISE THIS CLASSIC KIDS SONG AND TELL ME
WHAT ELSE IT'S NOT EASY BEING.
>> NOT EASY BEING NAMED DONKEY HAMMER.
>> CHRIS: POINTS.
EUGENE.
>> IT'S NOT EASY BEING AN ANTHROPOMORPHIZED PIG WITH A
UNUSUALLY LARGE SEXUAL APPETITE.
>> CHRIS: POINTS.
PHIL.
>> IT'S NOT EASY BEING DYSLEXIC AND CANADIAN.
I'M A DOUBLE THREAT AND INTIMIDATING.
>> CHRIS: POINTS.
EUGENE.
>> IT'S NOT EASY BEING THE BRUISED TIP OF JUSTIN BIEBER'S
PENIS.
>> CHRIS: WHY IS IT BRUISED?
>> ASK THE DETECTIVES FROM THE 70S.
>> CHRIS: EUGENE.
>> IT'S NOT EASY BEING A SUICIDE BOMBER WHO GOT THE WRONG
ADDRESS.
>> CHRIS: YES.
>> IT'S NOT EASY BEING TOO LEGIT WHEN YOU ACTUALLY DO WANT TO
QUIT.