hey everyone and welcome back to another video in this video we're going to be talking about
signs of low self-worth and what you can begin to do to heal that now if you are new to my channel
my name is Tertia i'm a feminine embodiment coach and if you're a regular viewer then welcome back
many of the women that i work with come to me because they want to build their self-esteem they
want to build their confidence they want to deepen their self love and one of the things that we
almost always identify is that there is a sense of i'm not worthy of this i'm not good enough i
am too much that underlies the way that they see themselves so it's quite normal for us to
go through phases or you know like one day you might feel very good about yourself the
next day you might feel down and that's normal because we are always going to relate to ourself
or have a perception about ourselves based on what's going on in our lives you know based
on what's going on in your finances or in your relationship or if you've got a holiday plan if
you've got something fun coming up that's going to affect the way that we feel about ourselves
but for many women there is this this thread or this current that runs through everything
where they just don't experience themselves as worthy they don't see their own value just
as who they are and we don't often realize that this is the the cause of why we don't get what we
want in our lives why we feel unfulfilled why we don't uh attract the relationships or the partners
that we want so i'm going to take you through some of the signs of having a low self-worth
and then i'll also be sharing with you how you can begin to heal that so as i'm talking through this
feel into that see if any of these signs resonate with you and then i think you're going to find
the tips that i have for you to be very very helpful so one of the first things
that i see a lot is that overthinking and over analyzing is really linked to our self-worth
so typically this would be let's say you you're meeting a friend for coffee or for lunch and you
you're not really present in the moment because you're thinking about what it is that you want to
say you worried about what is she thinking about you so you're spending a lot of time
in your head over analyzing and over processing and overthinking
instead of just being there in the moment enjoying whatever it is that you're having with your friend
it also could happen that afterwards after you've had a conversation with someone after
you've had a meeting at work when you go home or when you're on your own you keep
on replaying this situation over and over and you keep on thinking about oh i should have said this
what did they mean when they said that and you really put a lot of emphasis on what went wrong
what you should have done differently what they might think of you okay so what does this mean
it means that while you are busy processing all of this in your head while you're busy over analyzing
and overthinking you're completely removing yourself from the present moment you're feeding
into your inner critic and that inner critic is the thing that keeps yourself worth dampened down
and and locked in yeah your inner critic is the thing that keeps on telling you you are not good
enough it doesn't matter what you do you're never going to be good enough you're not allowed to do
that you can't have that who are you to even imagine that you are enough just as you are
okay and as i say in all of my videos these things run on a subconscious level so we don't
know that we think in this way and so through the work that i do with my clients this is what we
begin to unravel this is what we begin to identify it's ah this is actually what's going on inside of
me this is this is what i'm actually feeling this is what's underlying my actions so that's quite
an obvious way of how low self-worth plays out the other one that's not so obvious but which
is i think a lot more prevalent is that we are over achievers so to me over achieving is really a
sign of having to overcompensate really for having a low self-worth i know certainly for me this was
the truth yeah i was very hard on myself and i pushed myself to all kinds of extremes to really
perform and do well and be successful so that i could kind of prove to myself that i am worthy
but of course it doesn't work like that because those external accomplishments the things that
you're changing in the outside world that has got nothing to do with how you feel about yourself
we have to really go inside and do the work on the inside in order to change how we feel about
ourselves the third one that i want to talk to you about is how we hide ourselves so what this
plays out as when you are in a social situation you are the observer rather than the participant
so you don't really put yourself out there you don't really risk yourself
and what it also could play out as say you meet someone for the first time instead of just being
yourself instead of just showing up as you are awards and all you you become this person that you
imagine this potential partner would like so it's a mask that we put on we hide ourselves behind
masks because we are afraid that we are flawed and so you have to hide that you can't let anyone
see your true self in case people don't love you for who you are in case people reject you
in case you get into trouble so all of these ways in which your low self-worth
shows up is going to affect your confidence it is going to affect your decision making
it is going to affect your peace of mind yeah if you're always running around
like a hamster wheel always running around in your mind and over analyzing things that's exhausting
suppressing yourself and trying to be something that you're not in order to be loved that takes
up a lot of energy and just imagine if you are able to use that energy that you
holding that you're using to suppress yourself just imagine if you can begin to use that energy
to like show up in the world and to be radiant and magnetic and abundant so use that energy for good
now i get very annoyed when i hear some well-meaning people say stop caring about
what other people think and you know stop being so hard on yourself and just love yourself more
none of that in my opinion is possible unless we work on finding the deep rooted
sense of our own self-worth now the thing is if you have a deep rooted sense of your own
self-worth this is when you can start upholding strong boundaries your relationships become
healthier because you're able to communicate without fear of rejection and you can ask for what
you want and you can give your partner what they need without feeling that you have to hold back
and without feeling resentment for giving too much that you're over giving or that
you're just satisfying they need so it really has such a big influence on the
relationship dynamics that we have and also because of the decisions that you make when
you start making confident decisions you begin to like vibrate and resonate and attract things
into your life that is really aligned with who you are at your core so your life starts working out
and even if you still gonna get like challenges because that's life right we're always going to
have struggles that we have to work through you're going to be better equipped you're going to be
more resilient to slide through that instead of defaulting back to this habitual you're not good
enough it's your fault that things are like this i'm wondering if you can see that our self-worth
infiltrates and filters into so many areas of our lives and if any of these things that are shared
resonated with you if you can see something of yourself in that then let us know in the comments
below and now i'm going to share with you two things that i think are going to be so helpful
to begin to heal your self-worth and the first thing has to do with the way that you think
and i speak about this a lot in my other videos we have these patterns and these neural pathways
and we always like show up in the same way so the brain goes i don't need to reinvent the
wheel every time i've got like a shortcut i've got a program that i run in certain situations so what
we want to do first of all is to become aware if this autopilot program is running so begin
to notice is your inner critic being activated is that self-doubt being activated is that
self-flagellation or the self-judgment or even the judgment onto others is that activated because
that's also something that you might notice is a lot of times we judge things that we see in
other people but we judge it in them because it's a reflection of what is inside of us and when you
then begin to work with with consciously working with healing your self-worth that's also something
that you're going to identify is that your criticism of both yourself and of other people
is going to become less so the first thing is to become conscious of how is the self-worth of mine
how is this pattern playing out in my life and they notice every time the the programs
are activated and every time you automatically step into the role of victim or into the role
of i'm sorry or into the role of i don't deserve this i have to get other people to prove my value
before i can believe it in myself so that's the first thing and then what we want to do is
learn to be more kinder to ourselves now if i think back when i started doing this work around
healing my own self-worth the way that i used to talk to myself if i was my own friend i'd stop
being friends with me and i think many of us do that right so just for a moment reflect a little
bit on how do you talk to yourself how do you speak to yourself when you make a mistake or how
do you even speak to yourself when you when you've achieved something when you did something well
and when we have a very strong inner critic when we have like this negative self-talk
which is again what keeps that self-worth of hours completely like locked down you're gonna find that
you're always breaking yourself down and autopilot says continue breaking yourself down because this
is a program that i know and that my brain gets activated into but when you consciously begin to
speak to yourself with kindness this is how we start to reparent ourself
this is how we we bring more compassion for ourselves and more self-love into our lives
and you can begin to break down then these these barriers of criticism and self-loathing
by beginning to be more kinder to yourself so i'm curious to find out how this video landed for you
and please share your thoughts with me in the comments below
share this video with someone who you think might find it helpful go on be kind to yourself be kind
to me and give this video a like if you enjoyed it and i'll see you in the next one bye [Music]