-Kelly... -Hi. Hi.
-Great to see you. Always fun to see you.
Have we danced together before? I feel like we have.
-We've danced together at parties.
-Right? At parties. Yeah. -Yeah. Absolutely.
-You're a good dancer. -You're a great dancer.
-Really? -Yes, I think you know you are.
-I'm not, though.
-No, you're like a quadruple threat.
-No, I just got exposed,
because I was at a concert and I was dad-dancing.
-Yeah, but dad dancing is still cool dancing
because it's dancing that led to babies.
-Okay, good. I'll take that. Thank you.
-I mean, you know, as long as you know how to
dance one way, that's all that really matters.
-That's what I'm talking about.
Congrats. "Live Wire" is out today!
-Thank you. -It's out.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Congratulations. I love -- -Thank you.
-I want to get into all of it, because I love the cover --
-Oh, okay. Can we talk about the cover?
-Yes, please. -Okay, so, I picked this photo.
And this is my demented brain.
But tell me this is not the genius marketing strategy.
I thought people might think this is Sarah Jessica Parker
and maybe think it's a book about "Sex and the City"
and accidentally buy it.
-You're so funny.
-Tell me that's not a great strategy.
-No, that's not -- You did not think like that.
-I did think like that.
-But then why would you put --
Why didn't you just put Sarah Jessica -- You know her.
-Because people are going to think, "Oh, my God.
That's so amazing.
Kelly Ripa wrote a book about Sarah Jessica Parker.
-I love the colors. I love the -- It pops.
I mean, when you hold it when you're on the subway,
you're like, "What's up?"
They're like, "He gets it."
-Carry it on the subway? -"He gets it."
Yeah. You know what I'm saying? -Yes.
And I like that that's how you walk on the subway.
-Yeah, I don't even stand in the -- I walk in between cars
and just got to get to my destination.
-And you just have to say, "I love 'Sex and the City.'"
-They're like, "Oh, my God."
I love the honesty of it.
I think the humor is great. -Thanks.
-I love also "Long-Winded Short Stories,"
so very self-deprecating, as well.
-Well, you know me.
So, believe it or not, they cut 200 pages out of this book.
I'm not kidding. You're welcome, America.
-No, I believe that.
Everything here is all -- This is what you want.
This is all the juicy stories.
-It was a lot harder than I thought.
I thought that because I read books
that I could somehow write them.
And spoiler alert -- they're real, real different.
-Yeah. It's very hard to write a book.
-It was really hard.
And, you know, there were times I realized
I'm such a poor typist that I wound up writing it freehand
half the time and then transposing it.
It was so -- It was difficult, and I had to really --
-But they asked you -- Your publisher said,
"Hey, do you want a ghostwriter,
someone that can write this for you?"
And you said, "No, if I'm doing this --"
-I've got to do it myself. -Yeah. Good for you.
-Good for me, but also dumb me,
because I Googled a thousand times how to use
a semicolon, how to use a colon.
I still don't know.
-Yeah, I don't know about that either.
There would be dashes in all my books.
-I graduated high school.
I should know this [bleep]
Sorry. -Oh, my God.
-I should know. -You should know.
-Texting my kids at 2:00 a.m. like,
"Yo, know how to use a semicolon?"
-Yeah. There's so many funny, great stories here,
and a couple have already made headlines.
One that we could say.
There was one about you and your husband...
uh... [ Clears throat ]
-Yeah. -...yeah, having --
-Yeah, intercourse. -Thank you.
-Yeah. Sorry. -Don't make me say it.
-Of the sexual kind. -Of the sexual kind, yes.
-It's actually a very -- It sounds so crass
and it sounds so gross and salacious.
And it is all of those things.
-Oh, thank you.
-But at the heart of it, it's about -- We had just had a baby.
And I think that a lot of women that have just had babies
are never quite sure what goes where ever again
or how it's going to work or will it ever feel normal?
And I was one of those women, and unfortunately
for my poor husband, Mark Consuelos,
who is a great hero in this story --
-I love Mark. He is -- Yes. -He really is a hero.
No wonder he's been promoting this book so much.
He's the hero of the story.
-He comes off fantastically cool in every story.
He comes off like, "Wow!"
-You know, I had -- Sorry, everyone,
if you're having your dessert right now.
But he -- I had an ovarian cyst.
I didn't know I had an ovarian cyst.
And during the "love-making," I jumped up, fell,
and hit my head.
And he did not know what to do.
He panicked.
-So everyone -- The story -- I just want everyone to know,
the headline is, he was so good in bed that you passed out.
-Right. The headline that has
gotten picked up everywhere is that my husband
is so, so -- I mean, who knows?
-Yeah. -He's so --
[ Funk music playing ] Yes, thank you.
-Yeah. -Yes. Cue the porno music.
-That you just passed out.
and had to be rushed to the hospital.
-Right. But the story is that I passed out, I hit my head.
He calls 911 and then dresses me incredibly badly.
-You have to tell this,
because this is the part of the story that made me laugh.
What were you wearing?
-He snakes me into a Capezio ballet leotard.
-He didn't have sweatpants around or anything?
-Yes, I did.
I had a whole closet full of sweatpants and T-shirts.
-Alright, so, you were wearing a leotard.
-Snakes me into a ballet leotard.
Then he puts on his side-snap soccer pants
in case we want to pick up a game somewhere.
-He's got to rip them right off.
-And then the pièce de résistance
are the patent-leather red Manolo Blahnik platform heels.
-You're being put on the back of an ambulance...
-I'm being put in the back of an ambulance --
-...wearing heels and soccer pants.
-Wearing heels, and they're like --
you know, the paramedics are like, "A prostitute has died.
We don't know..." -Oh, my God.
That was one of your titles of the book.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
-So, yeah.
So, if you like stories about sex and romance...
-Yeah, yeah.
No, it's also stories about family,
but also your career, getting started,
I mean, and how hard it is.
-It's hard, yeah. It was a labor of love.
I keep saying it's like giving birth,
but nobody offers you any painkillers
at any time during the process.
-Of writing a book. -Of writing a book.
And, you know, you were remarking about
the final chapter in the book, and I want you to know that
you're going to blink -- And people told us this.
You're going to blink, and your children
are going to be grown and out of the nest,
and you don't know where the time went.
And that's really what the story is.
It's about endurance,
endurance as a couple, endurance as a work person,
endurance in your careers,
endurance in just raising your family.
It's a story of endurance.
-Yeah, and keep going.
-And make sure you pick out clothes
just in case you pass out while having sex,
in case of an emergency.
-I do love that -- When I pick up a book,
I sometimes like to go to the last line,
which I probably shouldn't do.
-No, I do that all the time. -But it's beautiful.
It's a good last line. Can I say it or --
-Yeah, of course. Say it.
-It's Mark saying to you, "This is just the beginning."
-Yeah. I told you, he's the hero of this story.
-It's like, "Look at what we made.
Look at our life. Our kids are now in school.
They're happy. They're healthy.
And let's just enjoy everything.
-They're pissed that Kid Cudi is here and they are not here.
-Yeah, they're a little upset.
But one thing I learned from you from this book
is that we have something in common.
On our birthdays, we both have Carvel ice-cream cakes.
-We sure do.
-And I figured, since it's kind of your birthday,
it's publishing day, your book is now out,
your book's birthday, I got a Carvel Fudgie the Whale.
-Thank you. My favorite.
-I'm going to light it, and I want you to make a wish.
There we go. I'm going to light it,
and then make a wish, and it's going to come true.
Don't tell me what it is. -Okay.
-Yep. [ Drumroll ]
Oh, my gosh. I love it right there. Here you go.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Are we doing it? -Kelly Ripa right here.
Congrats on the book. -Thanks, baby.
-I feel like you deserve it.
When we come back, we'll talk about
"Live Wire: Long-Winded Short Stories."
We're gonna play a fun game. Come on back.