Waking every few hours through the night this is something people come to me with a lot and
it can be a really really exhausting problem to face so let's first we'll be clear that younger
babies are gonna wake frequently in the night it's completely normal and natural they need your help
to get back to sleep they need feeding there's lots and lots of reasons behind that and it's
more complex and more varied when they are tiny the other thing that's important to establish
is that we all wake through the night it's no human nature we wake between three to six times
apparently and it really is just our way as human beings - it goes back to the days of Jake in your
care you've to make sure there's no bear in your cave it really is a human instinct thing that
we do so it's important that we do know that the difference is those adults we just put ourselves
back to sleep because we know how and babies don't know how it's a learned skill and they
haven't learned it yet so they look for help and again all very normal so with this topic of waking
every few hours in the night today I'm gonna talk about this based on some six months in above the
younger babies there's a lot more complexity there so I'm gonna talk about six months and above right
up to six years and give you some tips and advice on how you can deal with these very frequent night
workings so number one rule out any medical reasons that this could be happening because
if there's something medically going on then none of the rest of my help here is gonna work because
you know if there's something like a digestive problem pains you know anything that's causing the
discomfort that's making them wake that needs to be addressed and that needs to be dealt with and
it can be you know reflux is one of the classic ones that can do this there are so many other
things in the ear troubles can be really painful at night this so many possibilities so just make
sure you've ruled out anything medical and then we're looking at purely them behavioral aspects
so number two is to look at how your little one is settling at bedtime this plays a really important
role in the frequency and and duration of these night wakings so if for instance your little
one is settling at bedtime by feeding to sleep all looking to sleep or cuddling to sleep being walked
around patted off or with a dummy or any of these things which are all very normal but if that's how
they get to sleep or maybe they go sleep on you and then you put them down and then you sneak
out whenever it is it means when they wake they're gonna look for that same thing to come back okay
very normal very natural but they're gonna look for the same help or not even necessarily the
same help but some help because they didn't get themselves in that state of sleep so they don't
know how to get themselves back there they didn't do it you did it so they're gonna look for you to
come and do it again totally understandable and fair enough and so why the frequency I'll talk a
bit more about why you might get so many ratings but let's just assume that we're talking about
a six month plus age range here so we could be you know too much short three or whatever age um
beyond six months it's very unlikely between six months in a year that there's that much
hunger yes there may be the need for a feed in the night between six months and twelve months
quite possibly and again that very much varies from child to child there are many children that
don't need any feeding at six months there are some that do still need that so that will need
to be assessed on you know an individual basis but there's no way they need feeding every hour
in the night unless there's something which is what I said to you to make sure you've moved out
first so assuming there's nothing medical going on they're in good health good weight growing
nicely and consuming enough calories in the day you know no concerns whatsoever there then it's
not going to be hunger every hour to two hours in the night and you probably know that too and
you're probably thinking yeah there's no way I'd marry end up feeding my child every one or two
hours in the night but it's only to get them to sleep in it's for comfort not for hunger so if
that's the case and you've established that then you know it isn't hunger and it certainly won't
be if we're talking about you know the older ones so beyond a year two years three years four years
five even six your odds you know it's not hunger in those cases as well so if that's if that's
the case why should time making every one or two hours um the sleep cycle it changes and involved
as they get older but at first the sleep cycle is roughly about an hour and then it as a baby and
then it will go a bit more to an hour and a half and as adults they're more like three hourly but
initially that sleep cycle they go into deep sleep first then they come through and transition into a
lighter phase of sleep and sometimes they wake up then other times they wake up towards the end but
they're not knitting the sleep cycles together and if they don't knit the sleep cycle together and go
into a knit the next one they can find themselves awake and then be like Oh what like just oh I
don't know how to get back to sleep come and do it for me and that usually is a cry something that
says help me and that's just their way of saying I wanna go back to sleep I don't know how I don't
know how I got here could you do it for me again all very understandable so that's why I'm you find
things like repeated feeding or repeated dummy you be plugging whatever it is that that works for
your child and soothe them back up to sleep that's you doing it for them that means you're required
to go and fix the situation notice that that's fine in the early few months that's natural they
can't be expected to be able to do it takes time and at the beginning they definitely need to help
but from six months on you can really start to work on that very gradually and then that's their
bigger they definitely need that skill it's an essential life skill and you can help them learn
that very very gradually that's what I do is I help parents to teach their children these things
in a very gentle gradual kind way so they're happily going to sleep not you know being forced
to do something they can't do which is harsh and so by encouraging your child to settle to
sleep at bedtime at the onset of sleep at the very beginning at bedtime the more they learn and do at
bedtime the more easily they're going to resettle when they wake in the night which hopefully won't
be 20 times anymore and maybe we'll just be 3-4 times maybe but you might know about it
so much because they'll start to knit the sleep cycles together so they'll partially awake and
then they'll go back off and into the next sleep cycle and it's fascinating how fast this happens
sometimes I see this quite a lot with the babies you know around the eight-month-old mark roughly
that they start to suddenly put themselves to sleep at bedtime and the parents think
well that's that done but now we've got the night waking us to deal with in a night way he was just
shrink down to a bare minimum and it's because just because that child did at a bedtime they're
able to do it again and again they're very very variable they absorb this ability very quickly
when they're little so it's and it's lovely they're happy y'all happy they're happy it's
not traumatic at all so that's some really really important how they settle to sleep at bedtime will
impact on how much you see of the night waking and how much you're required to go in and fix it
so the response to the night waking is very much linked to bedtime that's what that's about the
other factor that is so key and important to know is over tiredness I talk about this all the time
but it's because it's so relevant and if a baby or young child is overtired that it's more likely
to increase the amount of we're King sis canoeing is gonna mean more disturbed sleep more unsettled
sleep which means more wakings and if they don't know how to get themselves back to sleep which is
likely then it's gonna mean more times that you need to go and help them learn and practice and
do it or do it for them if that's what you've been doing so being overtired is just going to increase
this this problem so daytime sleep is key you know you need to know how much sleep you tired or to be
having based on their age and stage if they don't need daytime sleep anymore then is bed time to you
late does their time need to be brought forward a bit probably if they're having this many disturbed
wakings in the night that in itself is gonna be causing over tightness they're not doing ten and
a half eleven twelve hours solids they're having very disturbed night sleep so they're gonna be
overtired so let's get them down earlier and give them a better chance that alone sometimes solves
a problem with older ones just getting it down to bed earlier so the phenotype is another key piece
so how they cycle to sleep and being overtired they really are probably the most important two
pieces of information I can give you so what can you do about it be consistent with how you respond
and how you treat bedtime so if you can put into place a plan of how you're gonna help your child
get to sleep at bedtime and do more of it for themselves without you doing so much for them
so they can practice and this can be done bit by bit you might find that if you particularly
if you are talking about a six seven eight month old at first if they've been relying heavily on
your help you don't want to just take that way but you can ease up on it tiny little bits that they
barely notice until they are doing a little bit more in a little bit more a little bit more for
themselves if it's more of a demanding toddler or preschooler but just is ruling the roost and
calling with shots then you might need to set up some parameters but in a kind way in a way that
gets them on board and gets excited and involved and let's do this shall we and just set set up a
new routine that they like that incentivizes them and then you'll find that that's how I will settle
better and do more of the work for themselves some of them have fears of you being out of the broom
stay with them then but don't do it all for them to stay with them give them some time and then
the next day see if you can do a bit less um but build and build upon that ability once whatever
one is you do at that time you need to be prepared to do and each and every waking in the night so
just there that you mind whatever it is they're using to fall asleep upon at bedtime you need
to be okay with the fact that you may have to go and repeat that every time they wake in the night
and it needs to be consistent so whatever you're doing at bedtime do you in the nighttime whatever
experience they went through a bedtime to get to sleep bring that back every time they're making
the night and they'll get better at it I promise you so if you can do that be consistent with the
response and the bedtime settling and trying to eliminate any overt tiredness by catching them
up on some daytime sleep or by bringing bedtime a bit earlier work on those two things together and
you should see a massive reduction in these frequent hourly to early nighttime wakings