Hallmark Christmas movies seem to make the holiday season start earlier every year.
You can spot the comforting tropes of these movies from a mile away, but when you watch
them as a grown-up, you might notice some other things too.
Clearly, Hallmark decided to cash in on society's collective obsession with royals by adding
a healthy dose of royal romance to another universally beloved occasion, the holidays.
Mix those two ingredients together, and you get a steady stream of Hallmark Christmas
movies with a fairy-tale twist.
In A Princess for Christmas, Jules is unexpectedly invited to spend Christmas in the fictional
country of Castlebury, and she soon finds herself falling in love with the handsome
Prince Ashton.
Crown for Christmas is similar to A Princess for Christmas in both title and plot.
The made-for-TV movie follows the recently unemployed Allie who accepts a position in
yet another fictional country as governess to a young Princess.
Of course, by the end of the movie, Allie is in love with the King.
If holiday-themed royal romance flicks are your cup of Earl Grey tea, you'll definitely
want to check out titles like A Royal Christmas, Once Upon a Holiday, and A Royal Winter.
Sure, their plots are a bit far fetched, but these Hallmark Christmas movies offer a much-needed
escape from the holiday season's hustle and bustle.
If there's one thing Hallmark loves more than a royal romance, it's a small-town romance.
Of course, there are exceptions, but if a Hallmark Christmas movie begins in a bustling
metropolis, you can pretty much bet your bottom dollar that the main character is going to
find themselves learning the true reason for the season in a cute, cozy, tiny town fit
for a snow globe.
In Moonlight & Mistletoe, Holly, a successful Boston-based businesswoman, spends the holidays
in her hometown of Chester, Vermont to help her ailing father tend to his year-round,
Christmas-themed amusement park, Santaville.
Christmas in Evergreen also takes place in Vermont, this time, as the title implies,
in the fictional, tiny town of Evergreen.
And Christmas in Homestead follows a famous actress as she travels to the small, "Christmas-obsessed"
town of Homestead, Iowa to shoot a holiday movie, and discovers the true meaning of Christmas
while she's there, of course.
With their heartfelt cards, commercials, and movies, Hallmark has a history of making people
cry.
Throughout their many years in business, the company has somehow perfected the science
of pulling at all the right heartstrings.
Of course, Hallmark's Christmas movies are no different.
While marathoning Hallmark Christmas movies as an adult, it's impossible to overlook the
sheer number of plots centered around a grieving widow or widower.
In Christmas Getaway, a travel writer plans a Christmas vacation, only to find herself
double-booked with a widower and his young daughter.
And, as you can probably guess, the writer and the widower happen to fall head over heels
in love.
The Christmas Shepherd follows the story of a widow and widower who happen to find one
another and fall in love, all thanks to a runaway dog.
And in The Christmas Ornament, a charming Christmas tree shop owner singlehandedly restores
the joy of the holiday season for a widow still grieving the loss of her husband.
Holiday romance isn't a cure-all for grief, but you should add these flicks to your must-watch
list the next time you need a cathartic Christmas cry.
While no two Hallmark Christmas movies are exactly alike, most of the cozy holiday flicks
essentially tell the same story: a down-on-their-luck or otherwise apathetic protagonist learns
the true meaning of the holiday season thanks to a little help from a surprising person
they fall in love with.
Romance is a Hallmark Christmas movie staple.
And, while most people love a heartwarming tale of finding love and getting in touch
with the holiday spirit, it's impossible to ignore Hallmark's historic lack of leading
LGBTQ characters.
In 2017, a reporter for Times-Standard, reached out to Crown Media, which owns the Hallmark
Channel, to ask why they've seemingly made the decision to exclude the LGBTQ community
from their beloved Christmas movies.
In response, Crown Media's vice president said,
"We are not an issues-oriented network: our goal is for every viewer who comes to us to
feel happier and better because they watched.
We have hired many LGBTQ actors."
Hopefully, Hallmark will join the rest of society in the 21st century and give their
audience an LGBTQ holiday love story sooner rather than later.
Let's face it, in reality, the holiday season isn't the happiest time of the year for everyone.
But Hallmark Christmas movies would have you believe that attitude is a criminal offense.
So many of the network's holiday films feature a protagonist who feels, at best, apathetic
about Christmas, only to have their outlook completely changed by the end of the movie.
For example, in Every Christmas Has a Story, a television personality finds herself in
hot water when she admits she hates Christmas on-air.
She's subsequently invited to, in Hallmark's words, "the most Christmas-y town in the US
to try and repair her image."
Only in the Hallmark universe would admitting you don't love Christmas land you a PR nightmare.
"I hate the holidays...I hate Christmas."
It's no secret that Hollywood has long been critiqued for its ageism, especially in regard
to casting.
In a 2017 interview, Jessica Lange told AARP,
"Ageism is perverse in this industry.
You don't often see women in their 60s playing romantic leads, yet you will see men in their
60s playing romantic leads with co-stars who are decades younger."
Perhaps this is part of the reason Hallmark movies are so refreshing for those viewers
who have aged out of their late teens and early 20s, as the network routinely casts
actresses in leading roles who are over 30 years old.
Lacey Chabert, who, according to Entertainment Weekly, signed on for her eighth Hallmark
Christmas movie in 2019, celebrated her 37th birthday in September 2019.
Another Hallmark Christmas movie darling, Ashley Williams, turned 40 in November 2018.
And Candace Cameron Bure turned 43 years old in 2019.
Considering Bure is one of Hallmark's most successful stars, maybe Hollywood should be
taking a few notes from the network.
It undoubtedly takes a village to produce the amount of entertaining Christmas content
Hallmark airs every holiday season.
But it also seems like there must be a dedicated team of true dorks out there in charge of
coming up with the often-cringeworthy titles for Hallmark's holiday fare.
Some of the Christmas-themed puns used for Hallmark's holiday movie titles read as if
they were taken straight from a book of classic dad jokes.
There seem to be endless punny names for their holiday flicks, but some highlights include
Christmas Under Wraps, Fir Crazy, Christmas with Holly, and, of course, It's Christmas,
Carol!
Considering Hallmark announced a line-up of 40 new holiday movies for its 2019 season,
it's safe to say coming up with clever Christmassy titles has become significantly more difficult.
That being said, the network's 2019 Christmas movie roster included titles like Write Before
Christmas, Picture a Perfect Christmas, and Check Inn to Christmas, which goes to show
Hallmark hasn't lost its magic, punny touch.
In 2017, Saturday Night Live poked a bit of fun at Hallmark's many Christmas movie tropes
in a cut-for-time sketch, "Hallmark Channel Christmas Promo."
The pretty spot-on parody totally nails one of Hallmark's most overused tropes, the struggling
small business.
Just as Kate McKinnon's character leaves her big-city job to take over her grandmother's
Christmas tree farm, Christmas Land tells the story of Jules, a woman with a successful
marketing job in New York City who returns to her hometown upon learning she's inherited
her late grandmother's struggling Christmas-themed village and tree farm.
It also sounds an awful lot like the plot of Moonlight & Mistletoe, in which Holly leaves
her big-city job for her Vermont hometown where she helps save her dad's Christmas-themed
amusement park.
Which way to the year-round Christmas-themed park that pays a livable wage?
Hallmark's Christmas movie roster is full of titles guaranteed to make you laugh, cry,
and go to bed with a warm, fuzzy feeling in your chest.
But it won't take you long to pick up on a recurring theme throughout Hallmark's Christmas
originals: the homewrecker.
Okay, homewrecker may be a harsh term, but Hallmark movies do have a tendency to show
a protagonist accidentally falling for a person who is very much not their significant other.
In A Christmas Detour, a snowstorm prevents Paige from traveling to meet her fiancé and
future in-laws, and instead sends her straight into the arms of another man.
Travel issues are also the force at the center of A Very Merry Mix-Up, in which missing baggage
sends Alice on a journey that results in her breaking off her engagement for a man she
met at the airport.
While everyone loves a good love story, Hallmark Christmas movies may leave you worrying that
your significant other is going to have their own Hallmark-worthy meet-cute the next time
they're at baggage claim.
"It's either me or Christmas, Lydia."
"He works too much, so it's okay if I cheat on him."
A number of Hallmark Christmas movies center around a protagonist who reluctantly returns
to his or her hometown for Christmas, only to realize that's where they should have been
all along.
In A Joyous Christmas, bestselling author and motivational speaker Rachel returns home
for the holiday season, and it doesn't take long for her to fall in love with a charming
local, as well as reconnect with her old community.
Another Hallmark Christmas movie, Rocky Mountain Christmas, follows Sarah, a New York City
gal who returns to her hometown after a breakup to help tend to her widowed uncle's struggling
ranch.
Of course, a handsome Hollywood star just so happens to be in town at the same time,
and in a surprise to absolutely no one, he and Sarah fall head over heels in holiday
love.
The moral of the story?
If you're looking for the "true meaning" of Christmas, otherwise known as a love connection,
just pack your bags and head to your hometown!
Let's be honest, Hallmark Christmas movies are far from a reflection of reality.
Sure, everyone loves the holidays.
But the "most wonderful time of the year" can often double as the most stressful.
Of course, this is why so many people enjoy escaping into the Hallmark Christmas movie
universe, because, as unrealistic as the movies might be, they certainly provide a whimsical
escape from holiday season stress.
Perhaps the most unrealistic aspects of Hallmark Christmas movies are the job titles held by
the protagonists.
For example, in Merry & Bright, Full House's Jodie Sweetin plays Cate, the CEO of the Merry
& Bright Candy Cane Company.
"She has come home to run her family's candy cane business."
But Merry & Bright has nothing on Hats Off to Christmas, which features Haylie Duff as
Mia, the manager of her town's Christmas hat shop.
Is the Christmas hat industry really so booming?
Talk about a niche business.
A number of Hallmark Christmas movies tell tales of finding true love and joy amid the
chaos of Christmas, while also weaving magical elements throughout the stories in a way that
will make you wonder why you ever stopped believing in Santa Claus.
After all, in many of their films, Santa's a living, breathing man.
For example, in A Boyfriend for Christmas, a 30-something single woman is surprised to
learn that a wish she'd made to Santa as a young teen has finally been granted, by Santa,
of course.
The big man in the red suit makes another appearance in Help for the Holidays, in which
one of Santa's elves ventures into the real world to help someone discover, wait for it,
the true meaning of Christmas.
These movies may technically be for adults, but that clearly isn't going to stop Hallmark
from appealing to the childlike wonder inside all of us.
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