This is 27 year old Matt.
He fell in love with
48 year old Eric.
But living in the deep South,
when they met, neither man had come out as gay.
And when they did
it wasn't met with open arms
Matt: Our hometown is mostly conservative,
it's not too accepting is it?
Eric: When I came out, I was a pastor of a local church.
I was dismissed from my post.
That came out of nowhere.
Krystal: I didn't know my dad was gay.
I was shocked
Matt: Growing up in the South,
you just hear it everywhere,
that it was not okay. You're not normal.
How do this couple navigate the tricky world
of being Christian and gay,
in America's bible belt?
Eric: When we first got together,
I was nervous out in public
I think mainly because from hiding for so many years.
Matt: You're a whole new person basically,
walking around, you're still set in that old way.
But once you realize like, "Hey, I can be myself."
Everything is really liberating.
Eric: I'm Eric, I'm 48 years old.
Matt: And I'm Matt, I'm about to be 28.
Eric: We have a 20 year age gap.
We've been a couple since 2016.
Matt: And then we've been married since 2017.
Eric: I had run an ad for needing an employee
to add to our demolition team and
Matt answered that ad.
Krystal: Me and my friends, we were at my house
and this was when Matt was a worker for my dad.
And I remember one of my friends was like,
"Oh, Matt's cute,"
"Is he your dad's worker?"
And I was like, "yeah."
and at the time, he was like, probably 24.
But I was like, "He's shy."
"But he's good looking I can like that."
Matt and Eric became close, eventually falling in love.
But neither man had come out as gay.
And Eric was a married pastor
with four children.
Eric: I actually got into the ministry at a very young age
and that helped me a lot as far as
putting that inner self
aside.
even though it was there, and it would come up occasionally
and within myself, and then I would just defeat it with things
that I was taught over the years,
homosexuality being wrong,
and just set it aside, but it would never go away.
Matt: I kept my sexuality a secret
for so long, mainly because of,
I guess the fear of other people.
Like what they would think or what they would say,
growing up in the south and stuff.
You just hear it everywhere,
that it's not okay.
You're not normal.
It was easy to just keep it in.
Eric: It's just not acceptable in most communities,
and especially growing up in the 70s and 80s.
Here in the south, it was difficult.
When I came out, I was associate pastor of a local church.
So immediately, I was dismissed from my post.
There never was any counsel or even asked directly
it was just, "we can't have this."
and I was dismissed.
Matt: Some people have really stated that they don't agree with it
Eric: There are a few people that we just don't talk to anymore.
Even you had a family member that says somebody will kill you all
If y'all get seen in public they'll kill y'all.
And if they know you're a couple somebody can kill you.
And those kind of things
and that kind of registered at first but then after a while that went away
Matt: Out and about around here so it's more so like,
they think we're just like, dad and son or some [inaudible].
Eric: My children were upset at first.
Krystal: He came out when I was a senior in high school,
so I was 16-17 years old.
I don't think I was really angry at my dad. I think I was more confused.
That came out of nowhere.
I didn't know my dad was gay.
I was shocked to say the least.
Eric: I told my kids that they could say anything to me
they want to say,
and I made my apologies to all of them for not being
up front earlier on,
but also let them know that I had no regrets either because
had I accepted early on then they wouldn't exist
and I wouldn't change that for the world.
To have a relationship with my children now,
and it being a good relationship is
a major relief, far better than I suspected and a lot faster
as far as the recovery of the relationships.
And here's my oldest daughter Cece
she will turn 30 her next birthday,
She lives with us full time
and she is our [inaudible]
We're thankful to have her she's a blessing.
We live in a community that is very royal.
There's a church, a traditional church, almost every corner.
Matt: It's mostly conservative,
and for the most part, it's not too accepting [inaudible].
Eric: If we're in public we don't show any PDA or anything like that.
We don't want to offend anybody,
though we also have a golden rule too
That we won't deny who we are.
We are who we are.
Krystal: He will always be my dad, so I don't wish any different.
Because he's happy, he's happiest that I've ever seen him.
And I just love them both.
Matt: Us in a relationship shouldn't bother you and your relationship.
We don't affect your relationship at all.
If it bothers you to the point you need to probably look at yourself in the mirror.
Eric: Coming out, we didn't even realize at that time
that there was so many advocates out there,
so to speak, we probably thought we were the only two gay Christians.
Just out of curiosity, we had Googled, "gay friendly churches."
And this particular church that we attend now
was actually the first one to come up.
It feels awesome to be accepted and to be able to walk in a church
and we can be seen as a family.
And as a couple.
Matt: Nobody's hiding.
nobody's bottling something in or keeping a secret or anything.
As a matter of fact, after coming out, I believe My relationship with God
is much stronger
because he already knew but now
I'm more honest with myself.