You walk into a bar, your body language is good your I contact strong.
you approach the BAR to see two beautiful bartenders serving.
You say can I get a kettle and soda in a minute you open your mouth
genital asses what are you doing man ask her out on a date
she's right there could be a whip Kelly what do you do in Monday night
just ask her man what do you do
how do you handle this kinda situation I'm very crews
and this is the charisma major there
helloooo the morning
one of the biggest fears the people happen going into social situations
is that they will look bad and more importantly look bad in front of other
people
so that situation that I laid out was actually something that just happened to
me
last week in I will explain to you the way
I look at it everything that I read into it was this dude was doing this to me
and how I handle that and then I'm also gonna break down a few
alternate scenarios that you could use to handle it if you didn't want to take
the one that I use
but the reason that these kinda snares are very important the reason I try to
give a lot of
real-life examples to you is because you need the comp in its most importantly
that you can handle anything thrown at you so right now you're thinkin met I
really don't know what I would've done if that guy was said that to me
well now you're gonna be scared and that's gonna in in any kind of
environment
and that's gonna show you're not gonna have that's where you're not gonna have
that competition I could have that magnetism
because you're gonna be a little reserved ok don't mess with me don't
don't don't say anything me I can't be too
out there I can't draw too much attention to me because if I do
it's the long blade of grass that gets cock to remember the saying is
so we gotta get around that we gotta be
a hundred percent sure then any situation we can hang or so socially
so let's start with this so when this guy when I saw him at the bar
it was a better looking guy taller guy
very loose casual body language and he was kinda joking
with one of the bartenders as I walked up there so
work I was in for as I walked up is this guy probably knows a lot of people
maybe even as the manager here as I was before he said this may decide on
managing to say that to me
but probably has a lot of clout probably has a lot of social leverage the
situation
cool so walk up to the bar and I knew
when I approach a strong body language strong eye contact I'm drawing attention
to me
people see as I was talking about the minute you walk into a room
the minute you comin their visibility they're forming an impression on you
and if you come very strong and charismatic well it is true
people are gonna come after you to test you deceive you are that strong I've
you're getting offered to me just say one thing to your
you ask her out on a date of birth I million
a very I should right nynex and people are gonna do that is gonna put them in
their place now he's the of in the room he's the one
dictating who is able to have that confidence in its him
we don't want that yeah I talked about before how like
people do little kinda chipset you to test our copy your friends incited
Starbucks online if you're talking louder somebody
somebody behind you made is going to be just got a brief kinda look to your you
talk a little bit to back out
just to see how you react because so many people will fall in line when
someone does that
so I know that this guy probably has a lot of social efforts a situation by
knows a lot of people is obviously very comfortable maybe a little bit rock I'm
not sure maybe just that it is normally but I know about
Cyprus a bar doesn't phase me has nothing to do with me right now I'm just
aware of what's going wrong situation
I say can I get a kettle and soda not good tonality I know that more people
can look over when I speak like this
he sees this and you immediately asked to test me
so this is kinda but top test to get around
to disaster on a date so what he's really doing
is doing two things first ball he's telling me what to do
so he's trying to get compliance so he's hoping then I will
maybe do what he's doing in a week way but most importantly just laughing cuz
they hope the hip-hop
you know have nothing to say in response so he's testing me for compliance and
he's trying to put me down
because she say oh I know all these girls you probably tear with was
probably embarrassed if I'd say so like taxi been on two dates in your life
so just kinda back often and check yourself partner
the two things he's going for the two things he gets most the time
so I know when he says that
any says Kelly what's your schedule now I know that he knows her very well as
well because he's referring to her by name
maybe he's a regular in the bar but he seems his by his non-verbal seem
like he's a high-status guys the c-myc sometimes had too many drinks and just
bullet-ridden outta control
it seems like the kinda guy who would do this his level competence
and what I know the minute I hear something like that
I know this is a high-status guy and the funny thing is hi says people are the
people that you want to meet
the people you whatever poor with and typically once you get around this kind
of top bush
shield that they put up the good people to know they're nice people just like a
lot of times you'll hear of people to talk about picking up women
we're talking to a specially beautiful woman a lot of time she'll have a shield
up potentially rude to people that come up in
most people here this is the all she's so Rui wanna try to talk to choose route
what they don't realize is by looking at that firm empathetic situation
she has to do that because she can't spend 30 minutes talking to
where the five hundred guys is going to try to come up there that night
she has to put that shield up to see who's competent enough to get through
that
who she really is more interested in spending time talking to in getting to
know
so I know all I'm actually when he does this mean I'm actually kinda excited
phenomena blow this thing out the water is probably a pretty cool guy
and one more point on that these high status people will be a CEO of a
corporation or entrepreneur you wanna meet
they have to have the shields up for the same reason
the dick you cry on the part of his everyone wants something from
everyone knows if I can be friend him and get some more poor it's good for me
so they have to have had received a civil aloof
front because if somebody really has a reason to talk to them
then they're going to get through that they're gonna be persistent do that but
it's not easy
because it exerts social pressure so he finishes ask her out on a date
so now I'm feeling the social pressure because both these waitresses are
looking at me
well as other tables from looking to be too because I ordered loudly that a low
tension
and then we use tell me ask %uh today I got even more tensions are people are
interested
what's gonna happen out kinda battle it's a rivalry who's gonna fall who's
gonna win
to Las also pressure on me so the technique that I used
was one were you in for that they're just the best
in a joking way teach me show me how to do it
that's kinda that the mindset you wanna have from somebody so what I said was
oh yeah I'm a nervous wreck week you sure do so you know I know pat so
America limousine I'm to get a dozen roses to Wells know what do I need
okay so now I'm playing into his job I'm not taking it seriously I'm saying
you're the chant man you got you gotta teach me in a very kind of condescending
way
so now the bartenders are kinda lap in a little bit not too much because this guy
has high status so they don't allow
because this new guy came in but they're kinda chuckle in and that was really all
it took at that point Scott backed off a little bit
and the funny thing is I ended up talking another half hour actually was a
real cool guy and he was a real estate agent area and he was somebody that
everyone knew I did a bump into him later in the night at another place in
nice got good guy to know a guy I would have not only never got a chance to know
but I would have had my night ruin because some guy clown on me at the
first place I want that night
so but boy did two things I did his number one you can be swayed by the
social pressures if you are you're never gonna have a good linebackers you
present back
it I'm competent way he's got bulldoze me suppose like
oh yeah man which was a douche I he's a guy all may come on you gotta know how
to do this year acid girl before
he's got to love me so you have a calm but it's almost like one of those things
where you see
um like an animal that's very cool way and it's like not doing anything index
of that kind of attacking it getting closer look at the gonna do anything
that all the Sun animals goes crazy right
a little bit like that & Co drives correlations as we speak but
I come and help stronger luv he says these jokes and all of a sudden I'm
oh yeah but you gotta show me how to get my notepad here so
we'll start with a dozen yellow roses that the color of our yellow canary
diamond
we're gonna kill Lindsay wells meant what else is important deal about to ask
her
right I was not what you did you buy that is gonna come up higher energy
receive anything on your say because if he answers me now
it's gonna be a logical response to Joanne anyone as you know ours up hot
the response a logically to a joker procedure State loses the battle is over
the person responded logically lost so he can't say
yeah man you're gonna get a limousine you're gonna get roses because at that
point to be like bitch
know it arouses I was jokin anywhere in the number talk to her right
so it's really almost like a checkmate when you come over the top %uh that
now there may be a few ways to get around that I'm up here right now but
ninety-nine percent of the time when you come with this car response you're done
in that in the cool thing is
yeah actually got expect from that person because so few people can do that
this is the guy who is this guy
and once again start assigning these attributes rather realistic
unrealistic to you because you had this amazing response
and were not swayed by 82 social pressure that he put on you
by taking that Jap as you become more socially competent people will mess with
you and take jabs you a lot less cuz they can sense you can handle yourself
in
ironically it's the very competent people that will still job you like the
situation
so let's look at another couple ways that we could have handled this so
I could have pretended like I was playing into his frame and then turned
it around cloud on him at the end
occurs said I be disastrous data Michael here
Anna lot you ever since I set eyes on you when I'm
really went out of my way our limo drivers here
is also very proficient making balloon animals what you want he's gonna make
anything is right here
go ahead request sky's the limit okay so
a person thinks you're playing into it and then decline in my view and I mean
there's a million things you can do
but the most important thing is to not be swayed and don't buy into his frame
make funny that go over the top go underneath that go around it but
don't being non-responsive because that's what most people are gonna do
they're gonna hear that
their appeal social pressure and they're just gonna kinda laughter is good
I have had so you from around here rather have to change the subject are
very uncomfortable trying to defuse diffuse the social pressure
were gonna be that animal on the grass that's going to strike whether it be
right over the top
teach me how to do it man are you have reaped but I like 108 your life but
where to start restore the roses
or baby have no idea we got our
personal limo driver is a Madrid have talents including animal balloon making
right a lot of things we can do they're all funny but the bass thing is
when your challenge like this and people are looking at you when you can respond
like that
my social value just went the room with the room
with everyone who isn't your shot that interaction
everybody wants know who you are why is this guy able to do this
as he always in front of people I was look at the list of these activities
because they're very real
princes road leaving that place the manager came up and start talking to me
and I said yeah
you know it's it's my first time here cycle come back later tonight man I can
check around $2 drinks all good
so the right to do that everyone that walks in the manager was
15 feet behind me and he saw the whole thing go down so
it just that's a great illustration and that's a great concrete example of how
people pick up on that who weren't even involved the situation I don't even see
him he was behind me fifteen feet
I didn't know is that your shop but obviously was because he's not going up
to every don't but walks through their
invite them back and bite them with a couple rounds of drinks
so have fun with it the next time you're hit with the real intense jab
and you feel like you're kinda underwater you can't breathe in your
that the social pressure in your kid tighten your kids when you gonna do
think this is my time to go from 0 to 100
15sec its everyone's gonna see me who is gonna be amazing
this is literally how I feel when approaches stuff like this
because you know you can handle it and what you handle it wants we find it
most in these kind of jobs are you experienced are the same thing
over and over so this wasn't a premeditated cam response
it was off the hinges that beary the premise
he's gonna teach me something he's the best or act like airplane and flip it at
the end
so a lot of times you can really use these two kinda techniques to combat
this
no matter what the guy says to you so get carpet get pot
feel that grandiose when he says that he ask on a date deal that cop is no your
gonna kill this guy you gonna win the battle
you gonna come ok you're gonna come across as a high-value person
to everyone within earshot so one more time
how are you gonna handle it
a tellin soda payment what you do n
she's white bear asteroid aid this can be your first big date
Kelly we do it on Monday this guy's got a big question for you
go ahead