Hello underachievers!
Before we get into this video
I just want to let you know that I just released a new song called:
"Life's a bit".
There's a music video for it
which will be linked in the description.
You should go check it out but you should also
stream on Spotify
and Apple Music
and everywhere.
You ever heard that one trans joke?
It's the one joke people have about trans people.
There aren't any other jokes about trans people, it's just this one,
just the one joke:
"Hello! I identify as
'insert word'".
So Apache helicopter jokes,
Apache helicopter memes.
Obviously "Hello I identify as an Apache helicopter".
You probably heard of that, it's been around for a while.
These jokes started popping up around 2013, I'd say
and they haven't been funny since.
Now, I get it, I enjoy a good joke, I love good jokes!
Good jokes are good jokes, okay? I can appreciate them
and I admit some of the "I identify as..." jokes were funny!
You know? Back in the day.
But I think right now, they're kind of still.
You would have thought that people would have come up
with a better joke in like seven years,
but apparently not!
I think we've now moved on to pronoun jokes
because cis people have just realized that
they actually have pronouns and it's not just a trans thing.
As you know I don't think they have realized.
Today we're going to be reacting to Apache helicopter jokes
as in like:
"I identify as this"
and see... Let's see if they're funny or not.
So let's go!
You really have to do that just as I'm about to start.
So the son says:
"Dad, why is my sister named 'Unicorn'?"
The dad responds:
"Your mum wanted to name her after something that never existed".
The son says: "Oh, that makes sense, thanks dad".
And the dad says:
"No problem, Third Gender".
It's not funny! But, oh, it is...
Just... It's funny, it's a funny joke,
it's stupid.
The joke is the dad is saying that a
third gender doesn't exist,
in which I just don't care.
I don't really care how many genders there are.
It definitely isn't just man and woman,
clearly non-binary people exist.
The joke is just funny, it's just funny,
it just, it wasn't expected,
I wasn't expecting it.
Ah, so...
So this one, there's a fireman saving an old lady.
He says: "Fear not, lady, I'll save you!"
And he kicks in the door.
The lady said: "Lady? I identify as a ten-year-old boy".
Okay, well, right...
I know where the joke is going and
I'm not sure if cis people that don't know much about trans people
actually think that trans people are like this.
I've seen the story of someone born male and,
in their 50's, identifying as a little girl.
I've seen it.
That is not representative of the entire trans population
but we'll play with it.
s t o p
It's funny, it's funny,
it's not funny.
It's okay to laugh. No! It's...
Yeah, it is! It's funny!
"Yeah, she was already dead when I found her".
He just left this ten-year-old boy
to burst into flames.
Ah! A classic:
"They say I'm fat but I identify as skinny.
I'm 'trans-slender'!".
We've all seen it.
My dad has shared this on his Facebook page,
he sent me this, thinking it's hilarious.
It is a fun play on words, I won't lie,
something about trans-slender together
is just... is...
Is it funny anymore?
No, but I'm sure when I first saw this in
maybe like 2013
I would have found it hilarious.
"When you meet that gender studies student again:
My genders have doubled since the last time we met".
This is a whole stereotype of like
gender studies students, you know?
Being trans, coming up like wacky identities,
which is like I'm...
At this point I don't care.
There are people that only think of the version of me
that they knew in 2016, which is fair enough
because maybe they unfollowed me
and then haven't seen me ever again.
But Jesus Christ.
I was a dick!
Right now, I could not care if you identify as star gender...
Go you! I don't care, it doesn't affect me
and i'm not gonna pretend that it does.
We all just need to chill.
There's too much going on in the world right now,
for that to matter.
"I identify as a cat,
I demand little boxes in all public bathrooms".
So, this is an interesting one because I think,
I don't know how old this is
but from what I'm thinking of,
I think this is based of the...
There's this video of Kaitlin Bennett,
notorious like, notorious? notorious prick.
She went around a college campus asking people
if they should put urinals in the women's bathroom
for trans women.
Trans people don't want that!
I can tell you right now that like 99%
of trans women would rather pee in a toilet
than a urinal.
I'm sure peeing in a urinal is probably
dysphoria inducing for trans women.
I just can't imagine trans women wanting that!
I don't know where Kaitlin Bennett came up with that.
Maybe one trans person wanted it
and she thought every trans person did but...
So I think this is a play on that,
I also, (I'm not entirely sure) but I think
this cat person is dead.
I think I heard about that but I-
RIP, if you are dead.
"Just because I'm dating a woman does not mean I identify as a lesbian".
Yes, I think that's could be anything.
Could be a lesbian,
could be bi,
could be pan.
Steve Buscemi says:
"Fair enough. Just because I stare through your window while you eat your girlfriend out does not mean I identify as a stalker".
Right.
Does Steve Buscemi have different colored eyes?
Clearly there's an issue with this.
Maybe it'll be a bit more funny if it made sense.
As is in like if bisexuals didn't exist
or pansexuals didn't exist like...
There are some very clear plot holes in this hole thing.
"So you can be whatever you 'identify' as?
I identify as ruler of the world. It's not working".
This one doesn't tickle me.
Just don't think it's funny.
I actually reacted to this person in a trans cringe compilation.
They have like a paper clip through their nose
or a safety clip,
I think it looks cool.
"I sexually identify as Thomas the Tank Engine".
I truly hope that there's not people sharing this meme around
and thinking it's funny.
Like I'm not upset, I'm not offended on their behalf,
I just,
it's just not, it's just not funny.
Thomas the Tank? I just,
it's just not funny.
So we got Caitlyn Jenner,
who we don't like,
saying that she identifies as a woman and then...
All right, "I identify as innocent".
Very good.
"Identifies as something other than male or female".
"Okay, I identify as 'trans-shandy'..."
It says "trans-handicapped", I read "trans-shandycapped".
"I identify as trans-handicapped, so I ought to be able to park anywhere I want".
This is such like a specific type of dad joke,
it's not just like a normal sweet innocent dad joke.
This is like a racist 60 year old Simon
who's recently been divorced and just hates his ex-wife.
That kind of person would make this joke.
I understand the premise like,
don't worry, I completely get it,
it's just, I just don't find it funny.
So here's a meme from 2016.
Thank you Corry for the four year old meme.
If Titanic had sunk in 2016:
"Stop sir! Women and children first!"
"I identify as a female and you're discriminating me!"
"I'm sorry for being transphobic, go ahead to the lifeboats".
I'm just like, come up with another joke!
PLEASE!
It's so boring!
So the girl says that she identifies as non-binary, gender fluid and pansexual.
Which, if you don't understand that,
it's just, it's very wordy:
Non-binary means that you don't fully identify with like a dude or a girl,
you're somewhere in between.
Gender fluid means that your gender fluctuates which I'm, I'm, I think, I think.
Pansexual means that you're attracted to people regardless of their gender.
The guy, who's trying to think of something to impress her...
Stop.
Ooooooooooh
Why do I find these jokes funny?
They're funny, but they're not.
The guy says:
"I'm mentally ill too!"
Look, look...
It's the whole "trans people are mentally ill",
"gay people", "pan people are mentally ill" kind of joke.
Personally, just for myself, I think I have to be some level of mentally ill
to want to chop off my tits but that's just me.
I'm also mentally ill but that doesn't cause my sexuality.
How did i get to this point in this video?
It's a whole joke about people that aren't cis or straight
being mentally ill and, you know, it's not a good joke.
It's not funny.
It is a bit funny, but only because it's stupid.
It's not funny because I think it's funny.
Oh my God, I'm chewing on a battery!
So the employer says:
"Says here you got all C's in high school".
Me: "I identify as an A student".
Yeah, here we are again.
I thought these would be better, thought out,
I thought these would be more interesting.
Why did I think that?
The employer says: "That's not how this works".
I'm just like, right, I am a trans guy,
I don't think that I'm a guy just because I say I am.
It's because my brain, for some reason,
says I am.
I don't know what's going on,
don't know why it happened.
I know that males and females don't really have very different brains,
I know that's not it.
Could be anything but, for some reason,
I am just wired like that.
Have been, my whole life, made, you know
made little dicks out of Play-Doh and
put them in my pants because
I felt like my dick was missing,
my dick fell off.
But I think what a lot of people assume about trans people
is that they think that they can just
become women or men o non-binary just by saying so.
But in order to want to say so,
there's probably something going on in your brain
that's like "Oh, I'm trans".
"I identify as myself (No modifications necessary)".
I don't know who this man is,
I don't know who you are,
but i'm so happy for you.
staph
This one has more thought to it.
It's not good, it's, it's...
"Diversity is just a state of mind".
And it's a lot of white men,
white old, white men.
One is trans black,
one is a trans woman,
one is trans asian,
one is trans Apache helicopter
and one is 164 Cherokee.
I don't know what to say about this one.
On a level of like the rest of the memes today,
on a level of like, the one joke about trans people,
this one, I'd say, rates quite highly.
I think... It's not funny!
I don't know why I'm laughing.
"I'll have a... I'll have a 'I identify as an attack helicopter'".
Squidward's like "How original".
And then this guy's like "Did you just assume my gender?"
That's the other joke.
You've got two jokes.
How could I do the math so wrong?
You got not one joke, you got two jokes.
And the pronouns, the pronoun jokes, 2020.
They're coming they're coming.
Almost three jokes in seven years!
This one isn't funny.
I think that "did you just assume my gender" jokes
are even less funny than
"I identify as an attack helicopter" jokes.
They're even less funny and this is the worst of the worst.
Last one!
"Hey! You're not allowed to be a sexist!"
"Not to worry, I have a permit.
I'm female and you're sexist for questioning me".
Now, right, this is funny in my brain.
THROWBACK.
I made a video about a notorious transphobe
at a time where people weren't entirely sure
if she was transphobic.
She was!
I made a video being like:
"Hey, stop being transphobic, kind of sucks!"
She made a response video saying that I was sexist
because I was silencing a woman.
She sees trans men as women so surely it's me
being a woman, surely I'm a woman
and I am telling her to be quiet.
As a fellow women, we're on the same team!
I don't know what you're talking about!
That's the end of the video.
If you enjoyed this, let me know.
Should I make more videos like this?
These meme videos?
Personally, I enjoy them, these made me laugh.
But, yeah, please go check out my new song,
I'm enjoying the response to it, it is good.
I'm enjoying it.
It feels crazy but, yeah...
Have a good day, or don't!
See you later losers!
Goodbye!
I'll give you a punch!
Stop making the one or two jokes.
s t o p