Ralphie: SANTA CLAUS HAD COME.
WOW! THAT'S MINE.
WOW! LOOK OVER HERE.
THAT'S MINE.
WHAT'S IN HERE?
OOH, IT'S HARD.
FIRE TRUCK! OH, BOY, THAT'S MINE!
RRRRRR!
HEY!
RRRR... DOES THIS RAISE?
WOW! WOW!
RRRR...
YEAH, IT DOES.
[GROANS]
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
MERRY CHRISTMAS, YOU TWO.
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
OOH! NOW, ALREADY--
NOW, WAIT FOR CHRISTMAS TO START, HONEY.
I WANT TO PLAY SANTA.
WAIT A MINUTE, RANDY. YOU PLAYED SANTA LAST YEAR, DIDN'T HE?
RALPHIE, YOU PLAY SANTA THIS TIME.
WELL, WHO SHOULD I START WITH?
WELL, GIVE RANDY A PRESENT, AND, UM,
AND I THINK I SEE AUNT CLARA'S GIFT TO YOU RIGHT OVER THERE.
SHE ALWAYS SENDS YOU SUCH WONDERFUL PRESENTS, RALPHIE.
GIVE ME MINE, RALPHIE. COME ON! COME ON, RALPHIE!
Ralphie: CHRISTMAS HAD COME, OFFICIALLY.
WE'D PLUNGED INTO THE CORNUCOPIA,
QUIVERING WITH DESIRE
AND THE ECSTASY OF UNBRIDLED AVARICE.
DIDN'T I GET A TIE THIS YEAR?
WOW!
WHOOPEE!
A ZEPPELIN!
A CAN OF SIMONIZ.
RALPHIE, WHAT DID AUNT CLARA GIVE YOU? SHOW EVERYBODY.
I DON'T WANT TO.
RALPHIE, SHOW EVERYBODY WHAT AUNT CLARA GAVE YOU.
Ralphie: GRR! AUNT CLARA HAD FOR YEARS LABORED UNDER THE DELUSION
THAT I WAS NOT ONLY PERPETUALLY 4 YEARS OLD,
BUT ALSO A GIRL.
SHE JUST ALWAYS GIVES YOU
THE NICEST THINGS, RALPHIE.
OH, MY...
OH, ISN'T THAT SWEET?
RALPH, GO UPSTAIRS AND TRY IT ON--
I DON'T WANT TO.
GO UPSTAIRS RIGHT NOW AND TRY ON THAT PRESENT!
SHE WENT TO ALL THAT TROUBLE TO MAKE IT. NOW, GO ON.
WHILE RALPHIE IS CHANGING,
I'M GOING TO PLAY SANTA CLAUS.
LET ME SEE. WHAT CAN I FIND--
OH, I SEE SOMETHING.
RANDY, THIS IS FOR YOU, HONEY.
OH, AND THIS IS FOR DADDY.
OH, BOY.
OH...
HERE. FROM ME TO YOU.
[HIGH VOICE] THANKS A LOT.
I WONDER WHAT IT COULD BE.
WELL, THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT, ISN'T THERE?
WELL, IT'S A BLUE BALL.
OH, IT'S A BOWLING BALL.
[GIGGLING]
THANK YOU, DARLING. THANK YOU.
DO YOU LIKE IT? YES, VERY MUCH.
VERY MUCH.
RALPHIE! WE'RE WAITING!
OH, COME ON, MOM.
RIGHT NOW!
OH...
Ralphie: IMMEDIATELY, MY FEET BEGAN TO SWEAT
AS THOSE 2 FLUFFY LITTLE BUNNIES
WITH THE BLUE BUTTON EYES
STARED SAPPILY UP AT ME.
COME DOWN HERE SO I CAN SEE YOU BETTER.
Ralphie: I JUST HOPED THAT FLICK WOULD NEVER SPOT THEM,
AS THE WORD OF THIS HUMILIATION
COULD EASILY MAKE LIFE AT WARREN G. HARDING SCHOOL
A VERITABLE HELL.
OH, ISN'T THAT CUTE?
THAT IS THE MOST PRECIOUS THING
I'VE EVER SEEN. IN MY LIFE.
HA HA HA HA HA!
SHUT UP.
HE LOOKS LIKE A DERANGED EASTER BUNNY.
HA HA HA HA!
HE DOES NOT.
HE DOES TOO. HE LOOKS LIKE A PINK NIGHTMARE.
ARE YOU HAPPY WEARING THAT?
DO YOU WANT TO TAKE IT OFF?
TELL THE KID TO TAKE IT OFF.
ALL RIGHT, YOU'LL ONLY WEAR IT WHEN AUNT CLARA VISITS.
GO ON AND TAKE IT OFF.
TAKE IT OFF!