[C
One plus the key highs, divided by the key lows in the
relationship, plus how much joy there was in the relationship,
divided by how much misery there was, plus how much you laughed
over how often you fought, plus the quality of the biggest
romantic gesture they ever performed for you, multiplied by
how reliable they were on a day to day basis, plus how much you
liked their people divided by how much your people liked them.
Help with a show I making.
That's the subject line from an email I wrote to one of my exes.
I have the email here.
My name is Haley McGee and I live in London, England.
I used to say that I was an actor and writer, but now I just
say I'm a multidisciplinary artist.
[Motorcycle engine revs]
[Haley] I relocated to the UK at a time before Brexit when it
cost 2.2 Canadian dollars per pound,
and I was burning through
my savings and then going into credit card debt.
So I ended up in credit card debt and I found myself on the
phone with Visa promising that I would pay off my-- my debt by
having a yard sale.
And then I looked around my flat and realised the only things I
could actually sell, the only things I own that have monetary
value had all been given to me by my different ex boyfriends.
[Cash register chiming]
Pretty much, I hung up the phone with Visa
and I was like, okay okay, like, how should I price these things?
How should I price these things?
[Cash register chiming]
And then I thought-- I started thinking about all of the
emotions and stories associated with the objects, and I started
thinking actually I think the idea of trying to sell these
objects makes a better show.
And in fact, would probably earn me more money than if I was to
just sell the objects themselves.
So I was looking at pricing the objects and I started thinking
about the necklace that I have.
And in a certain way, I-- I suffered a flesh wound
for that necklace.
I was going to visit the person who ended up giving it to me.
I took a bus and on the bus someone had wedged a scalpel
like a Exacto knife between the seats on the bus.
But I didn't notice it until I moved to get comfortable.
And the knife sliced through my new jeans through the flesh of
my bum drawing blood.
And I started thinking, surely that flesh wound increases the
value of the necklace that he then gave me for my birthday.
[Cash register chimes]
And also, he was the first person that I ever slept with.
So surely that increases the value.
[Cash register chimes]
And then I actually reached out to this ex-boyfriend and a whole
bunch of my ex-boyfriends and talked to them for research for
the show, and to get their point of view on these objects.
And the guy who gave me the necklace, when I spoke to him,
he confessed to me that he has no memory of buying
the necklace at all.
[Cash register chimes]
And so I really felt stumped, like, I don't know, I don't know
how these different elements can contribute to a price.
And I thought there must be some formula or some algorithm
out there that could take into account all the ways I invested
or didn't and spit out a price.
So I started hunting for a mathematician.
Several male mathematicians ghosted me early on.
And then, like so many great women who appear after a series
of men let you down, I found Melanie Frances.
[Bell rings]
We met and immediately she just got it, she just really
understood what I was after and we, in our own way, fell in love
through this project.
I came to her with all of the factors.
I have 52 factors or variables in the formula.
We had a ton of conversations around essentially my value
system, which she then translated into numbers.
[Cash register chiming]
One plus bracket, bracket, bracket, how much healing there
was, plus how much wounding there was in the relationship,
plus the significance of the big life lessons learned in the
relationship, plus any baggage you left the relationship with
divided by your age at the time of the break-up, plus the Nth
root of the skills and knowledge acquired in the relationship
where N equals your age at the time of the break-up, multiplied
by the significance of the rites of passage experienced in the
relationship, plus the number of good stories you acquired in the
relationship and how they contributed to your life story,
divided by the total number of...
[Haley] The big thing I learned from actually crunching the
numbers and going through all of this, one of the most valuable
things in doing it is that there is a number at the end of it.
I think I went into the show, not realising when I started
working on it, but feeling in a pretty crummy place where I felt
like I'm in credit card debt, my career is not where I want it to
be, and I'm disappointed with where I'm at in love.
And I'm staring at the ledger of my life thinking I've-- I've
kind of failed in all these realms and it looks like
a big zero.
And then through working on the formula, it spits out a number
that is not zero, and that is-- that sheer fact
is worth a lot.