I want to begin by being honest with you
if I'm about to talk to you about
reimagining emotional literacy for
better mental health then I need to
share my story you see I'm a family
doctor I'm a mother of three young boys
but I was also a hypocrite four years
ago I had a really predictable life and
then my eldest son Sean was born and my
world although rewarding became small
with the constant nursing and diaper
changes and the never-ending laundry
I remember feeling so overwhelmed with
this heaviness in my chest that would
just seem to consume me it took me
almost a year to get help as I refused
to believe I could be suffering with
these kinds of symptoms symptoms I later
realized we do too postpartum anxiety
here I was a family doctor whose job was
to work with you that encouraged them to
share their own struggles with me yet my
pride held me back from sharing when the
story was my own perhaps it was because
I equated my anxiety to a weakness and
if I just persevered it would disappear
or maybe it was because I felt like
somehow my training as a family doctor
should Armour me against any of these
feelings but that's the ironic part
isn't it when one in five of us one in
five Canadians will suffer with some
sort of mental health illness they're
still feeling that having this means you
have failed my husband and I now have
three children and our youngest is just
three months old
although the tools I learned during my
journey did bolster me for my subsequent
pregnancies I still have a lot to learn
a phrase had always stuck with me was
this it's your
brains job to keep you alive but it's
your job to keep yourself happy most of
us aren't very good at this we know all
too well how to run ourselves down
telling ourselves that we can't do
something or that we should be doing
something that we're not how many of us
actually listen to that internal
dialogue inside of our heads how many of
us hear that negative self-talk or do we
just feel upset frustrated and guilty
and don't know why the first step of
even beginning to understand your
thoughts your emotions in your behaviors
is learning to become more self-aware
what is self-awareness it's listening to
that voice inside your head it's
learning to label and identify your
emotions instead of just blindly
reacting to them so underneath the
surface of my anxiety I had feelings of
fear frustration guilt and even
inadequacy that questioned each in their
own way whether it would ever be a good
mom it's this self-awareness that forms
the foundation of a concept I wish I had
learned about in medical school it's
called emotional literacy just like we
want our kids to jump and move and play
through physical literacy skills what
about their emotional health their
emotional literacy so emotional literacy
is a term related to a term emotional
intelligence or EQ that some of you
might have heard about it was dr. Daniel
Goleman an internationally recognized
psychologist that popularized this
concept back in 1995 these are the
components that make up your EQ empathy
social skills self awareness self
regulation motivation just how
emotionally intelligent do you think you
are think about this as I ask you the
following questions so how would you
handle negative feedback we use it as an
opportunity for growth or would you shut
down and blame others that touches on
self-awareness
and self-regulation are you a
self-starter are you motivated or driven
by a cause or driven by external factors
money fame popularity
do you try to see the perspective of
others when working with them when
someone talks to you do you feel heard
do they feel understood it's no surprise
then that those with a higher EQ have
better leadership potential are more
profitable in the workplace and even
have better health and relationships
unfortunately we as society are becoming
less emotionally literate with the lower
average EQ than we had even 10 years ago
the good news is that with training you
can improve your EQ whereas too many
your IQ is somewhat fixed so over the
years I felt like I had to share what I
had learned
luckily much of my job is spent talking
about mental health at the youth health
center here in Abbotsford BC our clinic
is located within a larger Center
pictured here called the foundry
Abbotsford think of the foundry as a
one-stop shop for health social and
community services for youth and their
families it is a place where someone
between the ages of 12 and 24 can go to
find counselling services see a family
doctor get help filling out a job
application and a lot more there are
currently 11 foundries located across BC
with plans for more to open the foundry
abbotsford opened its doors back in 2018
and we have already grown into one of
BC's largest youth health centres it is
truly a resource we here in abbotsford
need to be proud of
so although we function as a
full-service walking clinic many of the
issues we see are rooted in mental
health at the foundry we see the 14 year
old so paralyzed with anxiety they
cannot attend school we see the 19 year
old who
couchsurfing and comes in need of food
and shelter we see the 16 year old who
spends their day wishing they were no
longer alive when I first heard these
stories I felt shocked the shock turned
to frustration and now I'll be honest at
times I just feel numb when a youth
comes to me expressing suicidal feelings
I asked them a question if there was a
button that you could push that would
just end it all
would you it's not okay that many of our
youth say yes I want to be clear though
any diagnosis any mental-health
diagnosis is often the result of a
multitude of factors both genetic and
environmental every case we see is
unique and therefore deserves its own
tailored treatment but I also strongly
believe that medication is not for
everyone we tell our youth to exercise
and eat well we teach them about
mindfulness and gratitude and no one can
deny that all of these elements are
critical in supporting one's mental
health but the honest answer is I rarely
get a youth who comes back compliant
with the advice that I've given them
because of this and because of what I've
learned I decided to make a simple
change I changed the way I talked to the
youth so instead of just asking them how
are you feeling I asked them can you
label and identify the exact emotion or
thought tell me what that voice inside
your head is telling you and these are
the answers I get it tells me I'm
worthless it tells me I'm ugly instead
of just asking them the routine question
have you tried substances in the past I
asked them how have you coped when
things have not gone your way one of my
favorite questions to ask is this what
do you want to be when you finish school
tell me about your dreams I've had some
interesting answers for sure
but a common one that I get is this I
want to work with other youth so they
will never have to go through what I've
gone through and this to me shows the
potential of our youth that they already
have more empathy more intrinsic
motivation than I could ever imagine
you see medicine can be so reactionary
we see a problem we diagnose it we treat
it often with medication and we move on
how do we shift this conversation about
mental health to a more preventative
approach and help youth before they even
enter the doors at the foundry think
about this for a second
children spend 920 through 23 hours each
year in the classroom 50% of mental
illness begins by the age of 14 so if
there was any environment to cultivate
these emotional literacy skills it is
within our schools curriculum this type
of curriculum often referred to as
social-emotional learning does
everything we just discussed about
emotional intelligence it teaches kids
to be attuned to their emotions to
foster empathy and create meaningful
social connections although this kind of
curriculum is now becoming part of the
DC curriculum there is still a lot of
work that needs to be done starting with
providing the appropriate resources to
our teachers so they can take care of
their own mental health as well as a
mental health and well-being of those
they teach for someone that works on the
frontlines of mental health the efforts
will be worth it
numerous studies have shown that this
kind of curriculum improves the child's
attitudes towards themselves others and
school it improves their academic
performance and it decreases their
behavioral issues but the benefits don't
stop there these kids are more likely to
graduate have lower rates of substance
abuse and perhaps mote north-north
worthy is the fact that they have lower
diagnosable mental health conditions but
just forget the stuff
for a second what if we were to raise
our kids to be more self-aware more
empathetic more connected this to me is
just kindness and we as a society as a
species certainly need more of this
researching this talk have come to
realize we cannot exist in silos
physicians overhear educators over here
we cannot fool ourselves into thinking
that what we teach our kids in the
classroom will not directly affect the
conditions we see in our clinics when I
do get the chance to speak with the
teacher with the patient's permission
it's often extremely insightful I can
learn about how they're coping if
they're being bullied and what supports
are in place it is this kind of
collaboration that we need more of
physicians and educators sitting at the
same table each with our unique lens but
a common goal to move this conversation
forward
so my reimagine ation of education is
simple put more focus on emotional
literacy skills through social-emotional
learning
and let's change this dialogue from
mental health to mental wellness until
then I promise to teach my patients
everything I've known and just like I
teach them they teach me they teach me
about courage about authenticity about
resiliency I now know how hard it is to
sit down with a stranger and share your
story I know how much courage it takes
for ask to ask for help but it is this
courage that creates connection between
a doctor and a patient a teacher and
their student a parent and their child
that we as humans crave so perhaps at
the end of my long day I should start
judging my contribution not by the
prescriptions I write that's simply just
being there
and having the presence of mind to
listen and connect when I say my
all-too-familiar phrase what brings you
in today
[Applause]
you