( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
-- FOLKS, M MY FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS A
TWO-TIME ACADEMY AWARD-WINNING
ACTRESS YOU KNOW FROM "LORD OF THE RINGS," "BLUE JASMINE," AND
"OCEAN'S 8."
SHE STARS IN THE NEW FILM "WHERE'D YOU GO, BERNADETTE."
PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," CATE BLANCHETT!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( BAND PLAYING )
>> OH, MY LORD!
>> Stephen: HI!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) LOVELY, AREN'T THEY?
SO NICE.
>> WOW!
>> Stephen: YEAH.
THEY'VE ALL DRUNK THE KOOL-AID.
>> Stephen: THEY SURE HAVE.
THEY HAVE GOOD TASTE.
>> IT'S A GLADTORIAL SPORT.
>> Stephen: COMING OUT HERE?
BECAUSE I HAVE A LOT RIDING ON TONIGHT.
>> Stephen: HOW SO?
MY HUSBAND, THREE SONS AND MOTHER IS HERE, MY DEAR FRIEND
MARIA SIMPLE IS HERE, HER DAUGHTER AND FRIEND.
BASICALLY, THE AUDIENCE, I KNOW THEM ALL.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: WELL, I JUST WANT
TO GET SOMETHING OUT OF THE WAY THAT I ALWAYS WANTED TO SAY TO
YOU WHEN F YOU WERE ON THE SHOW, YOU HAVE TO ENDURE THIS FOR A
SECOND, THERE ARE FANTASTIC APPEARANCES IN ""LORD OF THE
RINGS," BUT YOU HAVE AN ABSOLUTELY PERFECT IMPERSONATION
OF THAT CHARACTER.
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH!
>> Stephen: GALADRIALL IS A SHE WOLF ON THE EDGE, TAKING THE
RING, PERHAPS.
>> YOU WOULD HAVE PLAYED IT SO BEAUTIFULLY.
>> Stephen: I CAN STILL PLAY!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) NO, NO, NO.
I PASSED THE TEST.
I WILL REMAIN STEPHEN AND PASS IT TO THE WEST.
>> THE FIRST TIME I MET YOU, YOU WERE DRESSED AS A HOBBIT AT
COMIC CONN AND THEN I CAME ON THE SHOW AND IT TOOK ME TEN
MINUTES IN THE INTERVIEW TO GO, OH, MY GOD THAT IS THE SAME
HUMAN.
>> Stephen: RIGHT.
IT'S NICE TO BE REMEMBERED BY A PERSON YOU ADMIRE.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: OKAY, SO I JUST FOUND OUT THAT YOU ARE A U.S.
CITIZEN.
>> I AM.
>> Stephen: I DID NOT KNOW THIS.
YOUR FATHER WAS BORN IN TEXAS?
>> MY FATHER WAS BORN IN TEXAS, AND MY MOTHER'S AUSTRALIAN, AND
I'M MARRIED TO A BRITISH CITIZEN, SO I SIT IN SOME WEIRD
FORK IN THE ROAD.
>> Stephen: RIGHT.
YEAH.
>> Stephen: IN THE NEW MOVIE, "WHERE'D YOU GO, BERNADETTE,"
YOUR HONOR CHARACTER IS BERNADETTE, AND WE'RE ALL
WONDERING WHERE YOU GO.
>> WHERE YOU GO.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: SHE DISAPPEARS.
I WON'T GIVE ANYTHING AWAY TO SAY YOU GO TO ANTARCTICA, RIGHT?
>> YES, YOU KNOW, I'M A HUGE MARIA SIMPLE FAN AND I LOVE THE
BOOK AND RICHARD LINK LETTER WAS MAKING THE MOVIE AND I THOUGHT
THAT WAS AN INTERESTING SMASHUP BUT THE CHARACTER DISAPPEARS.
>> Stephen: SHE'S A STRESSED OUT MOTHER.
>> IS THERE ANY OTHER KIND?
>> Stephen: I SUPPOSE .
SO YOU HAVE FOUR CHILDREN OF YOUR OWN.
>> I DO.
>> Stephen: IS THE MOVIE A SUDDEN WARNING TO YOUR CHILDREN?
>> YES, IF MOVIE GOES TO THE BATHROOM, DON'T KNOCK TOO LOUD.
YOU HAVE KIDS, BUT YOU LOOK OLDER NOW -- YOU LOOK INCREDIBLY
YOUNG, BUT I MEAN WHEN I SAY OLDER NOW --
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: YOU, TOO, YOU LOOK
FANTASTIC.
( PIANO RIFF ) >> YES, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
>> Stephen: WHERE DO YO -- WHERE DO YOU GO?
>> Stephen: IN THE BATHROOM.
EVERYONE KNOWS YOU DON'T TALK THROUGH THE DOOR.
>> RIGHT.
IT'S THE ONLY SPACE TO THINK.
>> Stephen: IT'S ME TIME.
I'M JUST HUFFING LYSOL ( LAUGHTER )
HAVE YOU BEEN TO ANTARCTICA?
>> I HAVE A LONG, ROUGH MANET CONNECTION BECAUSE MY FATHER WAS
IN THE U.S. NAVY AND DOING AN ANTARCTIC MISSION WHERE HE
DECIDED TO BE A UNITARIAN MINISTER.
>> Stephen: WHEN HE WAS IN ANTARCTICA?
>> YES, THE ICE WILL DO THAT TO YOU.
>> Stephen: YES.
HIS SHIP BROKE DOWN IN MELBOURNE AND MY MOTHER WAS A
TEACHER AND THERE WEREN'T ENOUGH MEN AT THE DANCE -- SORRY, MOM,
I'M TELLING THE STORY AGAIN -- AND SHE WE WANT DOWN TO THE PORT
WITH THE OTHER TEACHERS TO GET SOME SAILORS TO COME TO THE
DANCE AND THEY DANCED ALL NIGHT AND THAT'S WHY I'M AN AMERICAN
CITIZEN.
( AUDIENCE REACTS ) I KNOW!
BECAUSE I ALWAYS WANTED TO WORK WITH RICHA RICHARD LINKLETTER.
SO WE WENT TO GREENLAND.
>> Stephen: I HEAR THAT'S COLD.
>> IT IS.
>> Stephen: WERE YOU ON THE ICE SHEETS THERE?
>> NO, I WAS KAYAKING OUT WITH THESE ENORMOUS ICEBERGS.
IT WAS ASTOPPISHING.
AND THEN WE GOT CAUGHT IN THE HURRICANE.
>> Stephen: IN GREEN IN GREENLAN YES, WE COULDN'T GET BACK
INTO THE FJORD.
IT'S A PROBLEM.
FOR 36 HOURS, SO THE STORM IS ACTUALLY -- I SUPPOSE IF YOU'RE
GOING TO BE IN A HURRICANE AND SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR FAMILY IN
YOUR BRAIN FOR 36 HOURS, YOU MAY AS WELL FILM IT, SO IT'S IN THE
MOVIE.
OUR NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE IS THERE FOR YOUR PLEASURE.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE A CLIP HERE.
I DON'T THINK IT'S THE HURRICANE.
IT'S YOU AND BILLY CRUDUP.
IS THERE ANYTHING WE NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THIS CLIP?
YOU'RE DRINK AGO SODA.
>> IT AIN'T A SODA.
>> Stephen: IT'S NOT A SODA?
NO.
SO BERNADETTE IS IN A MARRIAGE AND THEY'RE KIND OF LIVING
PARALLEL LIVES, AND SHE'S A McARTHUR GENIUS, AN ARCHITECT
AND SHE'S GIVEN IT ALL UP BECAUSE SHE'S HAD A MONUMENTAL
FAILURE SHE'S NOT DEALING WITH AND SHE HAS A PRECIOUS DAUGHTER
WHO'S ABOUT TO GO TO BORING SCHOOL SO SHE'S A LITTLE
UNHINGED AND THIS IS HER HUSBAND SLIGHTLY WORRIED ABOUT HER.
>> DO YOU WANT TO SEE A PSYCHIATRIST?
>> GOD, NO.
NO?
I'M JUST ANXIOUS ABOUT THE TRIP.
>> REALLY?
WHAT SPECIFICALLY ARE YOU ANXIOUS ABOUT?
>> THE DRAKE PASSAGICS PEOPLE, LITTLE TOWELS FOLDED INTO
ANIMALS SHAPES THAT MIGHT BE LEFT ON OUR BEDS.
YOU KNOW HOW IT IS.
>> ACTUALLY, I DON'T THINK I DO.
L.G., THERE'S GOING TO BE A LOT OF PEOPLE, YOU KNOW, AND I'M
NOT GOOD WHEN EXPOSED TO PEOPLE.
>> WELL, I DON'T KNOW, I THINK MAYBE WE NEED TO REVISIT THIS
IDEA OF FINDING SOMEONE FOR YOU TO TALK TO.
>> TALKING TO YOU, AREN'T I?
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> AND THEN I DON'T KNOW WHERE SHE'S GONE.
>> Stephen: SO YOUR CHARACTER ESCAPES.
WE DON'T KNOW WHERE SHE'S GONE.
WE FIND OUT LATER SHE'S GONE TO ANTARCTICA.
CAN YOU GO OUT INTO THE WORLD AND ESCAPE?
CAN YOU GO OUT AND NOT BE CATE BLANCHETT?
>> I WAS WALKING THE HIGH LINE THE OTHER DAY WITH MY SONS AND
SOMEONE SAID, OH, MY GOD YOU LOOK LIKE A REALLY YOUNG CATE
BLANCHETT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> THANK YOU!
>> Stephen: ONE OF YOU WAS BEING COMPLIMENTED.
>> MY SON WAS IN AUSTRALIA IN AN ALL-BOYS SCHOOL.
WHEN THEY FIRST STARTED, I WAS KNOWN AS CATE UPTON AND CATE
UPTON IS A VERY ATTRACTIVE ACTRESS, SWIMSUIT MODEL.
>> Stephen: YES.
AND THEIR FRIENDS AT SCHOOL SAID, OH, MY GOD IS YOUR MOM
CATE UPTON?
THE BOYS INNOCENTLY SAID, YEAH.
SO 20 KIDS WERE WAITING AT THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL PICKUP.
THEN I ARRIVED AND YOU COULD FEEL THE DISGUST AND
DISAPPOINTMENT.
>> Stephen: BLUE JASMINE.
YEAH.
THE WHAT?
I CAN DISAPPEAR ON MY DAY JOB.
BUT I CAN'T EVERYWHERE, CLEARLY.
>> Stephen: YOU DON'T NEED TO BE.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
>> THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME.
>> Stephen: COULD YOU TELL I WAS NERVOUS.
>> NO, I'M NERVOUS.
>> Stephen: NO, I'M NERVOUS.
YOU'RE ABSORBING MY NERVOUSNESS.
>> Stephen: PROBABLY.
BUT THERE ARE VERY FEW PEOPLE I GET STAR STRUCK AROUND.
YOU'RE ONE OF THE FEW AND I'M SORRY AND HAPPY TO SAY THAT.
( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
"WHERE'D YOU GO, BERNADETTE" IS IN THEATERS THIS FRIDAY.
CATE BLANCHETT, EVERYBODY!
BACK WITH MARC MARON!