AS WE GO TO OUR NEXT GAME, MOTOR CITY MAD MEN TELL NO TALES.
>> Chris: EARLIER THIS WEEK AMATEUR YOSEMITE SAM
IMPERSONATOR TED NUGENT TOOK A BREAK FROM SELLING RACCOON MEAT
OUT OF A TRASH CAN ON THE FREEWAY TO TWEET OUT A
SURPRISING ADMISSION.
OBAMA IS A CHRISTIAN AND I AM A GAY VEGETARIAN PIRATE.
WOW, I AM SO GLAD HE WAS FINALLY ABLE TO COME OUT LIKE THAT.
WHAT A BIG DAY.
AND HERE I THOUGHT THE EYE PATCH WAS A REMEDY FOR THE
PINKEYE HE CONTRACTED EATING THE (BLEEP) OUT OF STATE FAIR
GROUPIES NAMED DEBBIE DUMPER IN A PORT-A-POTTY. SO COMEDIANS,
I WOULD LIKE YOU TO GIVE ME ANOTHER SURPRISING THREE-WORD
TED NUGENT LABEL. FOR EXAMPLE, "FAT SCANDINAVIAN BUSDRIVER"
OR "HORNY LOCAL MILF." I'M GONNA PUT 60 SECONDS ON THE CLOCK
AND BEGIN. JESSE.
>> [BLEEP]Y GUITAR PLAYER.
>> HE'S A TOTAL SAMANTHA.
>> Chris: POINTS.
SARA.
>> SALTY DICK BARNICLE.
>> Chris: POINTS.
SARA.
>> MORAL SEWAGE DISASTER.
>> Chris: POINTS.
RON FUNCHES.
>> DUBSTEP DJ.
>> Chris: JESSE.
>> HE'S A GENEROUS BALLET PATRON.
>> Chris: POINTS.
>> HE IS ACTUALLY PRETTY INTELLIGENT FOR A
TALKING WHALE QUEEF.
>> Chris: JESSE JOYCE.
>> HE'S ACTUALLY A CRACKER BARREL GOBLIN.
>> Chris: POINTS.
SARA.
>> PALIN'S (BLEEP) BOY.
>> Chris: OH, SO GOOD.
THAT BRINGS US TO THE END OF MOTOR CITY MAD MEN TELL NO
TALES.
I SEE SARA SCHAEFER, I AM SO SORRY, YOU ARE IN THIRD PLACE.
>> THAT'S OKAY, THAT'S OKAY. YOU KNOW,
I AM JUST NOT A TITAN OF LATE NIGHT.
>> Chris: AND NOW WE MUST PUT YOU UNDER A RED LIGHT.
RED LIGHT! I AM SO SORRY.
YOU KNOW WHAT, WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE.
SARA'S RIGHT. THERE'RE TOO MANY DUDES IN LATE NIGHT. I AM PART
OF THE PROBLEM ACTUALLY, SO I AM GOING TO UNDO YOUR RED LGHT
AND TAKE YOU TO FOR THE WIN!
>> THANK YOU!
>> SUCK ON THAT "VANITY FAIR"!
VANITY UNFAIR.
YES, I AM SORRY.
RON.
>> WHEN WE GET TO FOR THE WIN, I JUST WANNA REMIND YOU ABOUT
SLAVERY.
>> Chris: I'M SORRY.
HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO APOLOGIZE ABOUT THAT?
RON! IT'S NOT MY FAULT! IT WAS THE 1800s, I WAS DRUNK AND
EVERYONE WAS DOING IT.
>> THAT'S WHAT THEY ALL SAY.
YOU HAVE WAY WORSE DRUNK STORIES THAN I DO.
PRETTY (BLEEP).
>> Chris: ALL RIGHT.
THAT MEANS IT AIN'T OVER TILL IT'S OVER.
IT'S FOR THE WIN!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> Chris: SAD NEWS:
BASEBALL LEGEND YOGI BERRA PASSED AWAY AT THE AGE OF 90.
YOGI WAS A HALL OF FAME CATCHER WHO ALSO SERVED IN WORLD WAR II,
BUT HE BECAME BEST KNOWN FOR HIS UNINTENTIONALLY HILARIOUS QUOTES
KNOWN AS YOGI-ISMS, SUCH AS "IT'S LIKE DEJA VU ALL OVER
AGAIN," "A NICKEL AIN'T WORTH A DIME ANYMORE," AND "WHEN YOU
COME TO A FORK IN THE ROAD, TAKE IT."
SO AS A TRIBUTE TO THIS AMERICAN ICON, I WOULD LIKE YOU TO COME
UP WITH ONE OF HIS LESS FAMOUS QUOTATIONS.
WE WILL HAVE OUR COMEDIANS' ANSWERS AND NAME A WINNER
WHEN WE COME BACK ON @MIDNIGHT.