i was scrolling through the gram as one
does and i saw this very amazing post
and it said butterfly wings are
considered one of the most beautiful
products of nature
but butterflies themselves physically
cannot see their
own wings so many friends of mine are
butterflies well i googled it this turns
out to be completely false because
butterflies have compound eyes which
give them 360 degree vision
so they can seek food while also keeping
a look out for any threats behind them
so make sure you fact check the internet
folks because it's full of lies but
my point with this whole thing was i
really loved the sentiment behind it
and the sentiment behind it really made
me pause and think of a conversation i
was having with some friends of mine
because we came to an epiphany so all of
our problems
stemmed from how we were taught to be
good girls
like one of my friends had an olympian
athletic mother who told her that as
long as her body was perfect
she was a good girl even though her mom
constantly moved the goalpost of what a
perfect body meant
another friend had parents who insisted
if she forgot her own needs
and wants in order to make everybody
else happy she was a good girl
even if it meant having no boundaries
and not exploring her own interests
i was told by my dad that my lovability
is rooted in professional accomplishment
and success that achievement made me
a good girl even if it means sacrificing
emotional fulfillment
personal hobbies and relationships we're
taught how to be good girls and good
boys and we carry that belief
into adulthood like my friend with the
olympic mother has a job where her body
needs to tailor to specific measurements
or she gets fired my people-pleasing
friend is a robust extrovert but she's
empathetic to every point of view even
when the perspective is detrimental to
her
i feel like i have to work hard and
prove myself in every friendship and
romantic relationship
to earn love but think about the
messages that you got as a child
was being good being quiet doing what
you're told
avoiding emotion striving for perfection
and when you were praised what was it
for and thinking back do you even agree
with that praise
would you praise yourself now for any of
those things or are these just your
parents imposing their limiting beliefs
that they got from their parents who got
it from their parents and so on
on to you i know it really does always
come back to childhood dozen of children
it's so annoying but that is when our
brains were learning like our most basic
core lessons so you know it makes sense
it's really annoying but it makes sense
i'm personally ready to stop being a
good girl
because if being good means that i have
to measure my lovability by external
factors
i'll never feel lovable if you have to
measure your worth based on your
imperfect body's perfection
you won't ever feel worthy and if you're
a slave to other people's opinions and
moods while setting your own aside
you'll never feel fulfilled i'm anna
akana and thank you to the top tier
patrons who supported this video
because we're on our screen so much i
have been prioritizing giving my eyes a
break by consuming more audiobooks
usually on my daily government
sanctioned walk so i have teamed up with
audible
you can visit audible.com anna or text
anna to 500
500 with a 30-day free trial you can
choose one audiobook
and because we're all at home constantly
members can download all of the audible
originals monthly selection for free
if you guys have not listened to hank
green's a beautifully foolish endeavor
which is the sequel to his debut novel
an absolutely remarkable thing
you must this series has been some of my
favorite
and amazing why sci-fi that i've read in
nearly a decade i'm such a fan girl for
it i was very curious how hank was gonna
like follow up the cliffhanger from
absolutely and he did not
disappoint like i love that the book is
scientific and also really inclusive and
thoughtful about where society is
heading and what connection means
and what being human means oh it just
covers so many things it's so great
definitely do yourself a favor and
listen go to audible.com
anna or text a n n a to 500 500.
bye