any Filipinos in the house tonight nice
hello welcome to the show
are you Filipino bro are you why didn't
you make any noise alike because you can
see that I'm here I don't have to make
nice if you can't see me you know I'm
here
what's your name what Bob Bart mark oh
why did it sound like you said Bob and
Bart
Oh Bob mark at any minute
ma Bob Bob ma are you doing in [ __ ]
chicken impressions right now
[Applause]
oh my god you've got Asian bird flu have
you been to the phillipines mark that's
a nice thing I had a great time when I
was there I I liked the people they're
very sweet
there's no it's not when you're there
everybody sings to you hello sir
good morning sir thank you sir
don't touch my pet sir Saudi guy you
know what I'm talking about you own a
few Filipinos back home don't don't act
like I'm even making that [ __ ] up
how many Filipinos in your house when
you grew up how many Filipinos did you
have to you see what I'm saying even
like I do I had to they were very nice
people though I don't I have no
disregard for the ability knows for the
what bilibino
hey mark when I was in the Philippines
so I'm playing ping pong with the
audience right now I'm by ping pong I
don't mean anything by that Vee
when I was in the Philippines it was
really really cool we were driving from
the hotel to the to the sari from the
airport to the hotel in Manila and we're
all in this big van and there was a lady
in the front seat of the van she was
from the Philippines and she was in
charge of our group anyway we're driving
and I'm looking out the window and we're
not moving very fast and we actually
stopped moving but I didn't notice
because I'd never been in the
Philippines and I'm just looking out the
window and the second we stopped moving
the lady in the front seat turns to us
and goes oh my gut and I look at my
brother and I go what's wrong with her
stomach she's experiencing some sort of
abdominal discomfort she just yelled out
oh my gut so I go what's wrong and she
goes look at early topics and I go I
know I love the tropics it's beautiful
yeah
let the topics be topics I can oh I get
it humidity palm trees Oh Roberts the
tropics look at all the cars on the road
Oh
cars traffic what's wrong with your gut
she goes nothing my gut oh my gut I go
why is your gut on the ceiling
nothing my gut Oh my gut Oh your God
it's cute in the Philippines they think
they have traffic problems have you been
did you think they had traffic problems
[ __ ] no I had just flown there from
India
you're not gonna impress me with your
shitty traffic in the Philippines and
the Philippines you may have a lot of
cars but there's some sort of order for
the most part people will drive in their
Lane they will generally stop at a red
light
India's insane India we have a system
called create a lane if you see an open
space take it and go
[Applause]
[Music]