♪ (fanfare) ♪
♪ (hip hop music) ♪
IceJJFish. I'm your biggest fan.
Mmm.
No.
(in video) You rocking to a Headshot Production.
This isn't a porn, right?
(exceptionally off-key) ♪ It's something about ya girl ♪
- ♪ That just makes my head... ♪ - Excuse me?
- ♪ ..Wanna twirl ♪ - What am I even listening to?
♪ All them other girls ♪
He's got some mad singing skills.
♪ There's nothing else better in this world ♪
Really?
- ♪ The moment I seen her ♪ - (snapping along)
I'm, like, physically uncomfortable.
It sounds like somebody's torturing two male cats.
It sounds like a dead chicken caught in a fan.
Is this real?
Is this a thing that they're invested in?
♪ But too bad this doesn't happen a lot ♪
♪ Oh, girl, you got me visualizing ♪
He's amazing!
I want him to be my best friend.
That girl is way too hot.
The entire video budget was get a girl with huge boobs.
♪ I'm not that type of guy ♪
- ♪ I'll letcha know ♪ - (groans)
♪ When I see that red light ♪
♪ All I know is go ♪
(snickers)
♪ So, baby, let us do this on the floor ♪
IceJJFish is amazing-- just the name!
Wait, did he just do his own backup vocals?
♪ Such a pro ♪
'Cause no one else can warble like him.
♪ You're the one that I want ♪
Is he dance... is he dancing?
♪ Oh yeah, girl, I'ma let you know ♪
(singing along) ♪ Know! ♪
♪ You're the one that... ♪
Is this the forest where he murdered her?
I mean, this is all evidence, right?
This is all evidence?
(gasps) Oh my god!
(chuckling) This is amazing.
Oh, she's dancing. Great, love that.
I feel like I'm doing something wrong.
Like, this is somebody's private video
and I shouldn't be watching it.
♪ Out my mind ♪
Please tell me this is a joke.
Come on, he's gotta be joking.
(guffaws) A friend hug at the end?
A friend hug!
Dude just got friendzoned right in the end.
What is that? Why? Why?
- Where did you find that? - (Finebros chuckles)
Holy [bleep].
♪ (fanfare) ♪
(Finebros) So do you think this guy is a good singer?
I would say he's a specific type of singer.
I even think Auto-Tune would be like,
"I don't know what the [bleep] to do with this."
It takes talent to be that bad, I think.
(Finebros) So we have some lyrics for you.
Yes!
(Finebros) Can you give us an impersonation?
(taken aback) That's what he's saying?
(screeching)
Oh, I think I'm a little off.
(screeching unintelligibly)
Oh, wait... (screeching continues).
There it is.
(high-pitched screeching)
It's not about forcing yourself onto a woman?
This is why I was uncomfortable,
because this is the stuff that could get you kicked out of a workplace.
I don't think he's trying to make a good song.
I think he's doing this on purpose.
You want something that you go, "He's kidding, right?"
And then you're like, "I don't think so."
(Finebros) Some people think this guy is trolling and trying to get a reaction.
Do you yourself have to deal with being trolled online?
Yeah, I have a lot of people that are trolling online.
"That's fake. Your hair's fake."
People say that when I smile I look like Renée Zellweger.
(Finebros cracks up)
I don't call 'em trolls.
I just call 'em my fans.
It's just a part of life and it sucks because I have younger kids
that don't really understand that,
and sometimes there's stuff that's directed towards them.
I love going through comments, I love responding to comments,
I love it when people come up with the cleverest, funny stuff to say,
and so I more just pay attention to that.
You just ignore them or respond,
but then that starts stuff.
I've learned.
At first, I kind of try to engage with them,
figure out why they were saying what they were.
I like to engage them
and then, a lot of times, if they're not really crazy,
they'll be like, "I'm so sorry! I was just in a bad mood.
I didn't mean it."
The only way to make them go away is to just ignore them.
It's some sort of weird Hogwartsian magic of like,
(as Dumbledore) "If you ignore them, Harry, they cannot tell you
that they [bleep] your mother."
(Finebros) So back to the video, it has over 25 million views.
(laughing)
He's gonna get laid on the daily.
Goddamn it!!! Are you [bleep] kidding me?!
That is the most-- goddamn it!
That makes me so mad!
I've done the host equivalent of this music video,
and I didn't get 20 million views for that.
I just got slapped by the [bleep] of Hollywood in the face.
Ah, man! (groans) [Bleep]!
(Finebros) What do you think it would've been like for your career
if the Internet was as big as it is now when you were starting out?
Oh, I'm so glad YouTube didn't exist when I was growing up,
skating in the '80s as a teenager.
Styles and fashion, like-- (groans).
Thank God the Internet wasn't around back when I was newly famous
and 21 'cause I would've said and done some stupid stuff, man.
I probably wouldn't be here today.
I had the opportunity to dive in and do very similar stuff
that people are doing on the Internet now,
but I got a chance to do it on television.
So the stuff I was doing, you know, 15 years ago,
probably wouldn't be that special today
because everybody's doing it.
(Finebros) So finally, if IceJJFish ended up watching this,
what would be your advice for his singing career?
I don't have any advice because he's clearly smarter than I am!
I would say let's work on your vocals.
Diction. Diction is very important.
Collaborate.
IceJJFish, let's do a video.
Yo, we can get in the studio.
You make bad music, I make bad music.
This could be amazing.
This is a collaboration together
and we'll go double cardboard.
♪ (fanfare) ♪
(birds chirp)
(in video) Hey, Kate.
Jake Davidson here...
I know this video.
..inviting you to my senior prom on May 23rd.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Hear me out. Hear me out.
You are the Yin to my Yang.
- This is just so adorable. - (Jake) I'm Jewish,
5'9" on a really good day, and I can't dance.
You're a Christian, 5'10", and that Cat Daddy video...
His first shave?
What's he trying to shave, honey?
He doesn't need to shave.
(Jake) You could say this is destiny.
Now, Kate--
He's trying to get with Kate Upton, right?
Oh, this kid is so cute.
(Jake) You're on the cover of Sports Illustrated,
- I read Sports Illustrated-- - (chuckle)
(Jake) Great moments are born from great opportunity
and that is what you have here today.
- This kid's going places. - (Jake) A chance to make
a nice guy's senior year the best ever.
- Mr. Davidson? - Thank you.
(giggles)
(Jake) Kate, we can ride around all night long... 'til 11:00.
That's my curfew.
(laughs)
(Jake) But really, it would mean the world to me if you came.
(cooing)
You're a privileged little guy. I wouldn't say yes.
- Mr. Davidson? - Thank you.
(laughing)
- (Jake) So Kate-- - You would like to get [inaudible].
(Jake) Will you go to prom with me?
Oh, that's so cute.
Oh, it's sky writing. Couldn't afford the real thing.
Did she go?
I loved that.
That was adorable.
What a little puddum.
Sweet. A little creepy, but so sweet.
This kid... has such huge balls.
♪ (fanfare) ♪
(Finebros) So what was happening in this video?
So this guy was promposing to Kate Upton.
Very creative.
I mean, that took him, like, three days.
Even if she goes, end of the night it's just a PR stunt for her.
She's not gonna [bleep] him.
(Finebros) So Kate Upton actually responded to him.
Saying...?
(Finebros) She said, "I am so flattered, but due to prior commitments
- I cannot go." - That's bull[bleep].
That's whack, Kate!
If she would've gone, people would've been like,
"Oh, she's so thirsty. She just wanted a press story."
And then if she didn't go, then people are like,
"Oh, she just can't be bothered and she's, like, very selfish."
I think, either way, you're gonna have haters.
Either way, you're gonna have trolls.
(Finebros) But due to the attention this video got
a different super model named Nina Agdal
- ended up going with him. - You're [bleep] me right now. What?
Oh, that's cool.
It's like a model exchange program.
He didn't get Kate, but he still did better
- than he would've done... - (Finebros chuckles)
..you know, without the video.
That kid's a legend!
(Finebros) Why do people like to ask celebrities to the prom?
Imagine if you're in high school and you show up to your prom
with a super model.
That's the way to end the school year.
Because it works! It works!
This guy struck out with Kate Upton and got Nina.
This is a time in our lives where everybody is so attainable.
With social media and things like YouTube,
you sort of blur the lines of feeling like you know
the celebrities more than you actually do.
When I was a kid, you couldn't do anything
that was gonna garner any sort of attention,
especially national or international attention.
It's the same reason that someone takes a picture
in front of the Empire State Building or in front of the Eiffel Tower.
It's saying, "Okay, this is something that millions of people
have seen and they know of, and I am brushing shoulders with it."
(Finebros) What's your perspective, being in the public eye,
when there's this fad of people trying to ask celebrities
- to go do something? - I think it's great.
I think it's fantastic. Celebrities are just [bleep] people!
They're human beings.
They're not weird super-beings that have to come down
from some sacred fig tree.
It's cool that they get that opportunity, you know, if they want to,
but the other side of that is don't aspire to celebrity.
I had no intention of getting famous or rich from skateboarding
and it just sort of happened and it was like,
"Whoa, weird. Now I have this attention."
I wasn't clamoring to be famous.
And if that's all you want, is to be famous, it's gonna suck.
(Finebros) So what would happen if someone
made a video asking you to prom?
Give me a sob story and I will go.
But it better be real because I'm a journalist
and I will sniff your [bleep] out. (laughs)
If I was asked to the prom in this elaborate way,
and the timing was right, and my wife was cool with it, why not?
I think I would get arrested because I'm well over the age of 18.
If you tweeted a celebrity, the first thing,
if they're anything like me, go to that person's timeline
and see if they're tweeting at everybody.
It's like, "Oh, they wanted me or Hulk Hogan."
So if you really want me, I'm like a woman-- want me.
It has happened.
I've actually been invited to a couple proms,
some birthday parties.
I was like a prom date for hire.
If you lived in the state of Connecticut
and your long-term boyfriend broke up with you
a week before the prom, I was your go-to.
I went to, like, six girls' prom.
It would be somebody be like, "Hey, my daughter's a fan
and she wants you to go to her prom."
Back then, the mom was the promposal.
(Finebros) Finally, back when you were prom age,
who was the celebrity crush at the time that you would've asked to prom?
Peter Dinklage is amazing.
I would ask Peter Dinklage to prom now.
Molly Ringwald.
I would go Will Smith.
Who would be more fun?
Jimmy Fallon.
(snorts) I'm such a dork.
I had a very big crush, senior year, on Adam Young from Owl City.
Tawny Kitaen. White Snake.
- Paula Abdul. - (Finebros chuckles)
I would've said, "Stop dating that cartoon cat-- DJ Skat Kat."
Alan Alda, where you at?
That or Donald Sutherland or something.
- I'm into the old guys. - (Finebros cracks up)
Mariah Carey.
I would've did a promposal video to my wife.
I actually technically did that.
I did a wedding proposal video.
Every time I did an interview, I'd tell people I loved Mariah Carey.
She saw it and heard it. I'm the luckiest man on earth.
- (Finebros) Awww! - (kid) Cute!
♪ (fanfare) ♪
(narrator speaking Japanese)
"Milk Seafood?"
I already know it's gonna be good. It's a Japanese commercial.
- (narrator speaking Japanese) - (actress) Hmm?
(cracking up)
(in video: screaming)
Aah! Whoa!
Wait, what, what?
They can do this on TV?
He's hand-cumming into her ramen.
Oh, it's pee and poop. The classic combo.
(speaking emphatically in Japanese)
(imitates actress)
Why's it gotta be so creepy? I love Japan.
(narrator) Milk Seafood Noodle!
That's a-- That's a video.
♪ (singing in Japanese) ♪
Yeeeeah!
Oh my god, I would die!
(cackling)
This is amazing.
(in video: laughter)
I have had this dream.
That would've been the greatest thing ever.
That was the best commercial I've ever seen in my life.
You are [bleep] me!
What is that?
What am I looking at?
Stop it.
That is really upsetting. That is really upsetting to me.
Goddamn it!
What?!
What is this product?
What was that for? Oh, there's more.
Oh [bleep]!
Huh?
What? What is happening?
What the--?!
What?
Whoa!
Stop!
Oh my god!
That is so gross.
#UnexpectedBoner.
Inochi should be nowhere near kids
and his commercials should be banned from all television.
♪ (trumpet fanfare) ♪
I don't like that dog.
♪ (jingle sung in Japanese) ♪
Goddamn.
That would scare the hell out of you.
This is awesome.
♪ (catchy jingle) ♪
On a stick?
That's not even sort of a real dog. None of those are.
(laughing) This is my favorite thing I've seen so far.
I want this dog.
- (in commercial) ♪ Calbee! ♪ - (singing along) ♪ Calbee. ♪
That's cute.
♪ (trumpet fanfare) ♪
I don't like the way he's touching his knee there.
(sarcastically) Oh, good, he goes after the little girls too.
♪ (catchy jingle) ♪
No, don't-- what are you doing?
Can you imagine coming across this while they're shooting it?
She can't even...
He was just abducted.
And then an alien takes him.
Oop, here come the chips.
Now are these dog chips or chips for humans?
- (in commercial) ♪ Calbee! ♪ - (singing along) ♪ Calbee. ♪
This is awesome.
So next time people ask what project I'm working on next,
I'm just gonna say I'm shooting commercials in Japan.
A lot of Japanese culture falls into two categories:
horrifying and [bleep]-able.
The dog is [bleep]-able.
♪ (fanfare) ♪
(Finebros) So we're gonna talk about each of these Japanese commercials
one at a time.
First was the Milk Seafood Noodle.
Yeah, I remember.
(Finebros) They're supposed to represent cheese and pepper.
No, his head is a rook piece for chess.
The other guy is from Invader Zim.
The pepper looks like a turd.
The other dude just looks like poop.
No one on the set said, "You know, pepper looks like [bleep]."
- (Finebros) Would you eat that? - Hell no.
No, I wouldn't.
It's like a three-time vegan offense. And I'm vegan this week.
That actually sounds really good,
especially if those guys would come and fire it off,
if they'd rub one out into my noodles.
(Finebros) Next was the gum commercial with the cat and the man.
Did that make any sense?
No, but I would go out and buy that gum.
It makes about as much sense as anything else in that-- (laughs)
That one made the most sense out of all of them,
and that's crazy to say cause it didn't make any sense.
It doesn't translate culturally, but I also assume that if someone
from Japan saw our 5 Gum commercials,
then they would be very confused.
We have those Old Spice commercials.
Those are our Japanese commercials.
(Finebros) And then there was Inochi.
I don't like it.
Super creeper.
He looks like the dude from The Goonies.
It's very strange.
His head is shaped just like this.
He's adorable... but he's like a sexual predator.
That one was way over my head.
What was the commercial for?
(Finebros) Those were commercials for an art exhibit
- featuring that creature. - Art?
That's not gonna make me go to the art show.
Oh my god, that's really weird.
I would like to see that art show though.
(stammering) If there are no erections.
Whenever you talk about advertising, you're like, "I think it's stupid."
Someone will always be like, "But here we are, talking about it."
I hate to agree with that idiot, but here we are talking about it.
(Finebros) Finally, the commercials featuring the dog.
That dog, I couldn't decide whether that dog was creepy or cute.
The dog was the most awesome dog. Where can I get this dog?
They made no sense. Again, none of these make sense.
None of these are actually selling the products.
(Finebros) If you were a kid and this dog appeared to you
offering chips, what do you think you would've done?
I would've ran.
Cry. Scream.
What'd I'd do is I'd repress that memory
and years later, when I'm doing an interview,
- I would remember... - ♪ (creepy music) ♪
I just remembered some really bad stuff that happened.
Now I know why I don't like golden retrievers.
(Finebros) Would you be down to star in a Japanese commercial?
Absolutely.
As long Inochi's not in it.
I would be down for the cat one.
I mean, it's a giant cat.
If that cat was walking around the studio right now,
come on, we would all be-- well, we'd be freaked out,
let's be honest.
Not just one. Give me several.
Bring the poopie pepper head guy, the dude with the chubby,
and we could all start a boy band.
And you could bring IceJJFish in to do the remix.
Hey, guys, thanks for watching this special episode of React.
There's a lot of buttons flashing at you right now
and it'd be really nice if you'd pressed on all of them
and then subscribed to all of our channels
because we're nice and we like you
and we'd never lead you astray.
Please? We need you to like us.
That's how we judge ourself, based on your button pushing.
Bye, everybody. Thanks for including me.
However people say goodbye on YouTube... 'til next time.
Bye, guys! Thanks for watching.
I hope I didn't offend anyone.
Please. It happens a lot.
♪ (fanfare) ♪