Hey guys! Well here we are today don't you think we have certain notions, notions about
what, how we're going to behave, act, converse in our personal lives as well as our professional
lives? We also have really sweet dreams as to how we're going to excel and climb that
ladder of success, of course in your corporate lives. But somewhere or the other we get stuck,
particularly when it comes to what? When it comes to communication skills, no, no wait,
effective communication skills. Don't you think, things such as, basic things, ‘greeting
people’ in office, ‘asking questions’, ‘answering those questions’ and then ‘writing
messages or emails’ to your supervisors, maybe team members often becomes a difficult
task, a very confusing task, don't you think so? So today here on Skillopedia you are going
to learn how to better your communication skills, especially when it comes at workplace
with me Meera. So guys let's get started with our super goals.
Alright! What I think is, we have to aim to respond rather than reacting to any situation.
Now you would think, what does that mean and why? That is because we humans are actually
capable of first listening, processing the information, thinking about it and then we
get to choose if we want to respond or we want to react. Now think about it, when you
look at animals they usually bark and they react to things because they're very defensive
and offensive at times, especially when it comes to difficult situations, where people
are getting in an argument, heated argument, bosses are shouting, yelling, probably a meeting,
emails which get you really angry and you just feel like, alright let me just reply
but remember, always and always first think. So what I do is, I usually count 30 seconds
1 2 3 4… In this way, I'm sort of managing my emotions here before I react. Maybe I might
get angry or feel like crying, I feel like pointing fingers at others or saying incorrect
things or sometimes I end up promising irrational things, just pause, breathe in, breathe out.
Did you guys know that studies suggest that in that moment, that particular moment of
anger or whatever, think of a nice positive memory that you have. It really helps you
to calm yourself down and what you've done is that you've taken charge of those emotions.
Once you guys have done that think, process, count 30 and then choose to respond. For that
matter even reacting to mails is equally risky just the way I mentioned before. That is why,
that is because you just feel like responding to something that gets you angry, super angry.
But here is where you will just take those 30 seconds for yourself, think about things
and slowly and gradually react no respond to those emails. Well guys so that's about
your first goal.
Now let's move to the second goal. Here I want to tell you that you have to learn how
to be selfish. You heard me right, ‘learn to be selfish’. But why am I saying this?
That is because I think that for instance just, just take an example, people used to
tell me to be an active listener to improve my communication skills, especially make them
so much more productive and effective at workplace and I used to always think and wonder, what
does this even actually mean? What is active listening? I'm listening, I'm here, what does,
what do I have to do more and how do I do that? Let me tell you all, if you want people
to listen to you and to your points and to your new ideas, then you have to do the same.
If you want to get motivated, motivate others who are probably your colleagues, your subordinates,
even your seniors, you know, ‘good job! Karen. Well done! Sean. You can always wish
others like, ‘Hey! Have a great day.’ Take my word for it guys, people respond to
positive vibes.
There's something I want you to know that you have to be hundred percent present from
now on, promise me that you will. I know you're thinking if I'm physically present, I'm obviously
there, right? How else can I be further present than that? Ask yourself again, just try, are
you really present? Do you actually listen and understand each and every word the other
person is saying to you or advising you or suggesting? Probably not. The Millennials
surely don't have the patience for it and I know as a matter of fact. Especially when
someone is talking, we always have a voice inside us that comes from within, which says,
oh my god, just hurry up and finish what you're saying, I have to go you're always in a hurry.
And that is why we often think about hundred other things while people are talking to us.
This definitely shows in your body language and your new eyes. As well as people around
you really get it what you're trying to do. Now how to fix this? Your body language, how
would you fix it? Well guys one good method is to start practicing at home. Cause should
try to focus on each and every word your family members are saying without interrupting them
because that's where it all starts. This way through, I know it's difficult, I know that,
but if you want to succeed guys you must overcome all these small difficulties, they're not
too much. Now try to apply the same thing at workplace, for example stands stable, sit
stable and straight when someone is trying to talk to you, particularly when someone
is trying to talk to you. Then try to respond with words such as, ‘yes’, ‘okay’,
‘alright’, ‘I understand’, ‘well’, ‘uh-huh’. So now what happens is when
these things are happening when small talk is happening you can always try to take reference
from what they're saying for example there's something happening, the discussion is happening,
imagine some fellow team member has told you a whole story about probably how they wanted
to take a holiday but your manager won't understand that and has now declined or rejected his
request and that is what he's trying to tell you and discuss with you. At the end of the
whole discussion or what he's trying to say just try to say things like, “Alright, let
me understand this, you are saying, he will not give you a leave because, he wants to
do a team meeting that week itself.” What has happened? What have you just done? This
way the person has understood that you're responding and you’re listening, you have
been listening. Exactly! Here your focus, your focus should not be on giving any advice
in return, all you need to do is practice to be 100% present, in the conversation with
your body language and your responses, right?
Well this brings me to another point. The one thing I won't forget to mention under
this particular topic is to increase your communication skills by maintaining a good
and a positive body language at work place. Well guys, I think you're not new to this
particular topic but, we all have certain common reference points of, what is a good
body language? What's a negative body language? So you guys know that, slouching is a negative
body language that's what I mean when, when I say we have common references. Similarly
a good handshake leaves are very strong in a positive impression, right? Now the two
main points to understand in this is that, the way you sit, stand, your hand gestures,
whatever you do when you're communicating, it's basically you're influencing your own
mind when you do this. Now what I mean to say, if I'm slouching and I sit like this,
I am feeling weak internally and I'm getting scared. Similarly if I walk straight, sit
in the correct posture, sit straight, my brain is getting signals that I am strong, yes Meera,
I'm strong, I'm ready for the day.
This brings me to my next point. Now try this, ‘stand in a winners position’. In a winners
pose for just two minutes, whenever you find yourself alone, probably in a bathroom, yeah,
that's fine. Legs and shoulder, legs should be shoulder length apart when you stand, hands
wide up in the air and look up right, that's a winner's position. This magic trick will
help trigger that champion in you and you will feel so much more stronger. Try to observe
a leader you know someone probably even your senior around you and enact them. What happens
is that this would get you started, this will get your brain to start thinking in a positive
in a stronger manner and this will reflect in your workplace. People start recognizing
you as a powerful personality, don't you want that for yourself? I know that you do for
sure with a great body language, you would do it, you will increase your own communication
skills and you would make sure that you are better at it.
Well guys if you want to know more about body language there is another video we have on
this particular topic that will help you understand ‘body language at workplace’ better and
further. Now guys all these goals surely need to be practiced before, right? So do that,
try to, try to do this at home, in your daily life situations and stay conscious and aware
of your own actions, words and points that you make, the things that you say to keep
challenging yourself to get better at everything when it comes to your workplace communication
skills. Now guys with this I wish you good luck and I shall see you very soon again you're
on Skillopedia with more such useful topics. Well guys until then make sure that you're
practicing, you're smiling, that's me signing off for the day guys bye.