- Who, after they were mistaken for an Uber,
drove home a complete stranger?
- Hmm. - Which one of you polite
motherfuckers couldn't tell someone
that you were not their Uber driver?
- Oh my God.
- I do think we're all exactly the kind
of doormat to do this. - Yeah.
We might, yeah. - We're all a bunch
of spineless assholes. - Codependent people pleasers.
- I would die before I set a single boundary.
- Here's the thing to ask.
Have we all driven rideshare at all in our lives?
- I signed up to be a Lyft driver,
'cause it was like $1,000 signup bonus.
I completed my five rides,
and then I just never did it again.
- Gaming in the system. - Yeah.
My heart says Brennan for this one.
- I've lived in Los Angeles for a couple of years.
Prior to that, I was a New Yorker,
which takes a lot of years off of the ability
to have been driving a car.
- Mm.
- Pretty good defense.
- Too good.
I'm going Brennan. (Brennan laughs)
- What if it's not a doormat situation?
What if it's being attracted to someone
and you're like, all right, I'll take you home?
Like that?
- That's creepier.
I mean, that works if you're a lady. (laughs)
- Hey, lady, get in my car.
- Oh, yeah, I'm not your Uber,
but I'll drive you wherever you wanna go. (laughs)
- All right, final answers in.
Amy, who do you think?
- I think it's Paul.
Yeah, I'm not changing my answer.
- Trapp, who do you think?
- I'm going Brennan.
- Paul.
- Paul, who do you think?
- Brennan. - Whoa.
- That was a lightning round.
Will the accidental Uber driver
please take a sip of their drink?
(suspenseful music)
- It was me. - Yeah, baby.
(group laughs) I know! (cheers)
- Oh, that makes me feel good.
- I was on my way to a hookup that I had arranged online,
and I knew the cross-streets of where I was supposed
to meet this person, and I'm driving around.
- Oh no.
- And there's nobody there.
I circle the block, I come back to it,
there's someone standing there.
I'm like, is that him?
And then he gives me like a.
And I lower the window, and I was like,
"Hey, sorry, I wasn't sure if it was you."
He was like, "No problem."
He gets in the car.
- Paul.
- Which, well now, where in the car does he get into?
- In the backseat, but listen-
- Now that's what I'm kind of saying, though.
(group laughs)
- What was your reaction when he got in the backseat?
(Grant chuckles)
- Well, it was, I didn't think it was that weird,
because in the messages, he had said, like,
"I know somewhere we could go."
- Okay. - So he gets in the car,
I was like, "So, where should I go?
He's like, "I'll tell you.
"Just drive up, you're gonna make a left up here."
- Paul.
- And I started driving. - Paul.
(group laughs)
- The amount of land mines dodged, conversationally.
- I know. - In the opening minutes.
- Can you imagine if I had right away
said something so vulgar to this stranger?
- Yeah. - So you like it
in the back? - Grant cannot believe it.
Grant cannot believe it.
- You know why?
'Cause there but for the grace of God go I.
This is- - It gets worse, okay?
- Oh no, Paul.
- So he's like telling me where to go.
Three or four minutes pass, I'm like,
"Where are we going?"
He's like, "Glendale."
I was like, "Glendale?"
So that's when it occurs to me, this isn't the guy,
but at that point, what do you do?
- You need the tip, yeah.
(group laughs)
- Yeah. - What do I do?
- The tip. - You need the tip.
- I know, Grant, thank you.
- 'Cause I couldn't just pull over and be like,
there's been a mistake, because then,
he'd be like, why didn't-
- Get outta my car. - Let me in your car?
Why did you let me in your car?
- Get out at the 5 interchange.
- And also, by that time, he's likely missed
his original Uber. - Well, then,
he gets the call from the driver.
- Oh no, no! (Lily yells)
- No.
- So he thinks you're a creep who's just trying
to fucking- - No, he never knows.
He gets this call, and he's like,
"What do you mean, you're outside?"
(Grant groans)
And I'm like, driving, and I'm like, oh my God.
(Trapp laughs)
And he's like, "Another driver already picked me up.
"Okay, that's weird."
And then he's like, "Do they ever send two drivers?"
And I'm like, "Sometimes, there's a glitch."
- Oh my God. (group laughs)
(Brennan screams) (group laughs)
- At this point, your fear isn't,
I'm gonna miss my hookup.
Now you're like, I'm gonna get
found out. - Forget the hookup, yes.
- No. - And then it's like-
- But that hookup's like on the corner,
being like, where the fuck is this guy?
- Now we know what happened.
- The Uber! - The hookup got in the Uber.
(group laughs)
- [Lily] Next question.