letter number three uh dear David does Paul Schaefer have any parrots
one night I was listening to the show and I thought Don Pardo said tune in tomorrow night
when we'll have piazadora and Paul Schaefer's parents well we tuned in the next night and we
were dismayed and shocked to learn that it was Paul shaffer's parents ick anyhow does
Paul Shaffer have any parents or any pets at all eagerly awaiting your reply Stacy Fenton uh I know
what you're referring to Stacy last summer we did a program here where Paul brought in his Pirates
as a matter of fact Paul's Pirates are here again tonight Paul I want to introduce your Pirates to
the audience for us okay uh I like everybody I'd like everybody to welcome two very good friends
of mine this Captain this is Captain Jeremy Meacham and of course the bloodthirsty Tortuga Jay
now they just uh they just got into town with a rich Spanish prize and uh they're
in the city for a while they're going to turn over some stores while they're
here now uh what's uh what's next for you two gentlemen may I ask
um uh well the week of May 15th uh will be down in the Caribbean we're going to be seizing an aramco
oil tanker and uh be looking forward to a lot of plunder on that vessel we sure hope so yeah okay
and uh you're gonna be taking and taking any prisoners you think guys
um no okay uh let me let me ask one final question Paul where did where did you and your pirate
friends originally meet up uh Bermuda okay Paul Schaefer and his Pirates ladies and gentlemen
the bloodthirsty Tortuga Jake our next letter comes to us from Charles Mosley Mosley uh New
York New York right here um and this is uh oh this is regarding about Paul's two
pirate friends Captain Jeremy Meacham and the bloodthirsty Tortuga Jake if you recall they
were uh last on the show about a month ago and Charles writes Dear Dave I am shocked those two
Pirates were not Pirates at all you're pulling a fast one on America Dave and we're not biting
now do I know how do I know they're not Pirates well I am an expert on Pirates being one myself
that's how no pirate would act so effeminate or be so soft-spoken Pirates usually don't write the
late night talk shows either but this is truly a tragedy unless I hear some sort of disclaimer or
retraction I will form a pirate boycott against your show and uh there happen to be many Pirates
in the Northeast and I wouldn't be surprised if we make up a large segment of your audience once
again Charles Mosley known as old scruffy New York New York well uh that's interesting you
know we tried to keep Captain Meacham and Tortuga Jake from seeing that rather blistering letter
but one of our secretaries inadvertently showed it to them and uh they were pretty steamed and
naturally so uh ladies and Gentlemen let's introduce him now Captain Jeremy Meacham
the bloodthirsty Tortuga Jake with their hapless prisoner and author of this letter Charles Mosley
nice uh nice to see you gentlemen and uh Captain Meacham uh Jake I see that you
have Mr Mosley and iron uh can you tell us what you have planned for him please
um well uh we'll be uh putting out to see at first win and uh once we reach international
waters uh we'll be uh dropping anchor and uh we'll send Charles to a watery grave
okay and uh Charles you're a very good sport to go along with this uh how do you plan the
well uh only after the most prolonged and agonizing tortures so I I guess his death will
actually come as a relief then well uh no actually uh the death itself will also be quite agonizing
now uh I know you have uh plans to have you walk the plank and would that be pretty much like it is
in the books in the movies and so forth now every time it comes time to walk the plank the victim's
thought is oh the Plank's gonna break the Plank's gonna break the plank is not going to break
we have done this before yeah okay you have done it before now Charles uh I want to thank
you for your letter I'm sorry about this but you pretty much brought it on yourself so what's uh
next for you two gentlemen well um next month uh we'll be appearing in Atlantic City uh you'll be
appearing in Atlantic City well actually we'll be sacking it and and I guess you wouldn't want to
tell the folks the data that's sacking huh um well actually we had hoped to make that a surprise raid
um oh what the heck April 29th okay April 29th of the second Atlantic City and thank you gentlemen
for coming I know you have a price on your heads and I really appreciate you stopping
by here tonight the bloodthirsty Tortuga Jake Captain Jeremy Meacham thank you gentlemen
should we uh can we hear just a second of the car and truck rental song just one okay
uh we'll be right back with a teacher who balances things on his nose Edward Kennedy
foreign