1200. Even if I make it out of one continuous design, a dracheneisen castle doesn’t count
as one object. 1201. ‘Just blow them out the airlock’
is not a backup First Contact Protocol. 1202. Even if it’s totally feasible, I can’t
indefinitely stall our rivals with a bureaucracy check.
1203. My panzerhand doesn’t get a vote. 1204. Smartass is not a character role.
1205. I can’t have any feat in the main book if the feat is written in pencil.
1206. In the middle of a Black Ops I can’t download several thousands songs on the target’s
computer and then call the RIAA. 1207. There is no such thing as ‘ambiguously
elven’ 1208. Even if he is Chaotic Evil, I can’t
turn state’s evidence against a fellow party member.
1209. Even if the boss monster has 100% magic resistance, my wizard can’t go catch a movie.
1210. I will keep rolling until I get a superpower I can actually use.
1211. I cannot have any gun that has an NPC Only Trigger Guard.
1212. Even if they’d never suspect it, my Jedi can’t have a flamethrower.
1213. No, we can’t see if the party can beat Temple of Elemental Evil in under an
hour. 1214. I will stop trying to put the Halfling
in a diabetic coma. 1215. If I’m just a few XP from 16th level,
I can’t just cast fireballs at random forests until I hit something.
1216. I can’t have a gun that treats buildings as light cover.
1217. No matter what the dice just said, I didn’t kill the villain with the first shot
of the combat. 1218. Elves do not have to go to the bathroom
in groups. 1219. Penguins will not fit in the standard
ether jar. 1220. The Vulcan neck pinch doesn’t work
in campaigns without Vulcans. 1221. Just because my sword is intelligent
doesn’t mean he can do my math homework for me.
1222. It's a strangehold. Not an Ogryn neck pinch.
1223. Ussuran women are not instantly recognizable by their beards.
1224. Even if the rules allow it, I can’t hit Stone with the Stone Cold Stunner.
1225. Having more beer than the enemy doesn’t give me a morale bonus for the mass combat
chart. 1226. No feat allows me to open beer cans
with my pects. 1227. The Death Star does not need a cabin
boy. 1228. ‘Overused cliché’ is not an appropriate
favored enemy. 1229. I cannot gain Drama Dice in games I’m
not actually in. 1230. It’s okay if you name your Kindred
Alucard. But I still can’t name my Garou Namflow.
1231. No matter how low Orc intelligence, they aren’t going to fall for a large wooden
horse outside the gates of Mordor. 1232. “Head, Heart, Run” is not our posse’s
motto. 1233. No matter how much sense it makes, we
can’t paint the Glitterboy a camo scheme. 1234. My first act as Executive Officer can’t
be a mutiny. 1235. Not allowed to use the replicator and
transporter to fill the Bird of Prey with Jello.
1236. I can’t take Invisibility to Detect Invisibility.
1237. My fighter can’t use the Monster Manual as a To-Do list.
1238. No making up Patron Saints. 1239. No part of the adventure is clothing
optional. 1240. No matter what the dice say, I didn’t
just seduce Chun Li. And Cammy. 1241. It takes more than one pick pocket roll
to totally derail the campaign. 1242. I can’t wish that somebody competent
wrote this module. 1243. Even if the game is dreadfully repetitive,
our party is motto can’t be ‘Wash, Rinse, Repeat’
1244. I will not point out the Drow Matron would make more money as an exotic dancer.
Even if it’s true. 1245. Must at least pay lip service to the
metaplot. 1246. It’s not possible to stampede dwarves.
1247. When told to pick a published superhero to play, Johnny Cash is not allowed. Paul
Stanley is perfectly acceptable. 1248. There is no such thing as a strap on
beard. 1249. It doesn’t matter if he took the large
advantage, we aren’t using the Ussuran as ballast.
1250. I will address the other PC as Lord Tyrion, Eldritch Knight of the Winter Court.
And not just as the Sidhe Male. 1251. Even the rules disagree, my character
can still drown. 1252. I cannot take the following as my favored
enemies: Southpaws, Mother-in-law or Keynesian Economists.
1253. Even if I’m being shanghaied into playing a rather crappy campaign, can’t
use Constitution as a dump stat. 1254. We aren’t luring the Arasaka agents
out of the safehouse by making ice cream truck noises.
1255. Splitting the atom at will is not an acceptable super power.
1256. ‘Ignore the metaplot’ is also not an acceptable super power.
1257. No, the answer to the problem is not to make a gatling gun out of bazookas.
1258. Can’t base my character off a smurf. 1259. Even if I could base my character off
a smurf, Ghurka Smurf was not a real smurf. 1260. No matter what the dice say, my renaissance
inventor didn’t just invent manned space flight.
1261. If the villain’s three room lair holds over one hundred brutes, can’t just tip
off the Fire Marshal. 1262. No rerouting the roller coaster through
the Umbra. 1263. Can’t blame it on my gun.
1264. Will not retrofit my Federation Starship with fuses.
1265. Heavy bolters don’t come with a pistol grip.
1266. I will stop referring to my rogue as a freelance subterranean locksmith.
1267. The lockpicking kit must be more than a sawed off shotgun.
1268. Dwarves are physically incapable of performed the Dance of the Seven Veils.
1269. Even if the guy I based my character off was famous for doing it, I can’t kill
eight guys with one bullet. 1270. Weapon Focus: Nukes is not a real feat.
1271. There will not be any sex in other player’s battlemechs.
1272. My Paladin can be charged with sexual harassment if he doesn’t watch exactly where
he lays on hands. 1273. Any character that makes a seasoned
Rifts player flinch is vetoed, and shall never be spoken of again.
1274. I can’t check the Soul Forge in as baggage.
1275. Will not reanimate dead familiars just to keep them around for sentimental reasons.
1276. Freeing slaves out of justice is good. Out of spite, not so much.
1277. No I can’t have an H. R. Giger Counter. 1278. An elf wardancer chick in nothing but
body paint is totally hot. A Vesten berserker in nothing but body paint not so much.
1279. Basing characters off gestalt of historical characters is fine unless it’s Miyamoto
Musashi and the mom from What’s Happening. 1280. Gold dragons do not conduct electricity
better than other dragons. 1281. The two primary types of Halfling are
not flathead and Phillips. 1282. My mad scientist does not get to divide
the party into control and test groups. 1283. For the last time, the elf wears the
maid disguise and the troll wears the bouncer disguise.
1284. There is no such thing as a Gnomish Pygmy Seeing Eye Rhino either.
1285. Just because I can play a charismatic Vestenmannavnjar missionary cleric, doesn’t
mean I should. 1286. My Buddhist monk will lose the cockney
accent. 1287. Let’s not taunt the minotaur with
‘How appropriate, you fight like a cow’ 1288. I will spend my martial arts technique
points on things other than blocking and running away.
1289. Even if the rules allow it, a laser sight doesn’t add to my chaingun’s accuracy.
Yes, even if I have one on each barrel. 1290. I will refrain to take character roles
that the game forgot to make any rules for. 1291. Just because I’m playing an anthropomorphic
Emperor Marmoset doesn’t give me the noble advantage for free.
1292. Cannot bribe the target’s HR director to start casual Fridays just to make our upcoming
Black Ops easier that week. 1293. I can’t avoid plot mandated ambushes
no matter how hard I try. 1294. No I can’t have a magelock mini-slugger.
1295. I will not spend all my freebie points buying quantakinetic auxiliary modes.
1296. No we can’t weld the Star Destroyer’s bridge shut.
1297. There is a 100xp penalty every time we remind the GM of the Bionic Six.
1298. If the adventure includes the birth of a god, we still can’t file for holiday
pay that day. 1299. In the middle of a Black Ops I can’t
compose an offensive joke on the target CEO’s email and CC the entire company.