This video is sponsored by NordVPN. Nord VPN is the leading virtual private network that
encrypts your Internet traffic and protects your identity online whether you’re in a
coffee shop, hotel or anywhere. We will talk more about NordVPN later but for now let’s
find how to be happy from the wisdom of Seneca. Lucius Annaeus Seneca was a prominent Roman
philosopher and playwright who published several essential works about Stoicism. According
to Seneca all men wish to live happily, but are dull at perceiving exactly what it is
that makes them happy. He believed that happiness is an internal affair and wrote a book specifically
on happiness called “De Vita Beata” which explains the path to happiness within the
context of Stoic philosophy. So let us look at 10 ways we can find happiness from the
teachings of Seneca.
1. Live with Arete Seneca says “A good character is the only
guarantee of everlasting, carefree happiness.” The ultimate goal of Stoicism is eudaimonia
that is to live a happy and smoothly flowing life. To achieve this goal, we need to be
on good terms with our inner daimon, the highest version of ourselves, our natural inborn potential.
The Stoics believed that nature wants us to thrive in life. This is why the inner daimon,
our highest self, has been planted within all of us like a divine seed, so that we have
it in our natural potential to become that highest version of ourselves. In whatever
you do, imagine there are two lines: the higher line indicating what you’re capable of and
the lower line what you’re actually doing. Living with areté is about trying to reach
the higher line and expressing what you’re capable of in this very moment. It is about
trying to close that gap and express the ideal-self, moment to moment to moment. The bigger that
gap, the further away you are from eudaimonia, and the worse off you are. This creates space
for regret and anxiety to crawl out of the darkness and spread misery. On the other hand
if you try to close the gap then you’ll build a good relationship with your highest
self and can live a happy, smoothly flowing life. It is only through the virtues of your
character, you will be able to close the gap between what you’re actually doing and what
you’re capable of. If happiness is in the mind then nothing external
is required to get the good life - no villa by the beach, no million dollars in the bank,
no diamond rings, and generally nothing else that was not already within us as natural
potential. And this potential is within all of us.
2. Accept whatever happens Seneca says “We are more often frightened
than hurt; and we suffer more in imagination than in reality”
Imagine you’re holding your favourite cuddly toy or doll from when you were a kid. Now,
you walk over to the window, open it, and throw your doll out into the street. You stay
inside and hope for a sunny day and some good luck. All of a sudden, life becomes an emotional
roller coaster—without you having a say in it. There are people stepping on your doll,
cars running it over and all other unfortunate things you never thought of . Now, nobody
would actually do that with their own treasured possession, but isn’t that exactly what
we do by worrying about stuff outside our own control? We worry about stuff like will
she like me back?, will I get that job? Why aren’t I taller or better looking? Worrying
about things we have no direct control over causes emotional suffering. This is why the
Stoics would tell us to take that imaginary doll back into our own hands, and decide for
ourselves whether or not to get kicked around. The point is, the Stoics want us to focus
on what we can control and accept whatever we cannot.
There are only two things in our control: our voluntary actions and judgments. We can
decide what events mean to us and how we want to react to those events. Nothing else is
under our control. We have 3 levels of influence over this world -
· High influence: Our choices in judgments and actions
· Partial influence: Health, wealth, relationships, and outcome of our behaviors
· No influence: Weather, ethnicity, and most external circumstances
We compromise. our happiness by worrying about things that we have little-to or no influence
over. We can’t change what already is, but we can choose what we do under the circumstances
3. Take Responsibility Seneca says “The wise man looks to the purpose
of all actions, not their consequences; beginnings are in our power but Fortune judges the outcome,
and I do not grant her a verdict upon me”. Stoicism teaches that we’re very much responsible
for our own unhappiness as well as happiness, and taking this responsibility will improve
our chances of attaining eudaimonia. We can either play a victim to our circumstances
and get pushed around, or we can choose to take responsibility for how we handle the
circumstances. Being able to choose is called freedom of choice. When something happens
that affects us, it is a stimulus. How we react is our response. Oftentimes, this response
happens automatically, unconsciously, and is therefore rarely aligned with our best
self. When you get out of work and find yourself in traffic it’s plausible that you might
decide that this situation is really bad, and you angrily start cursing. You are getting
pushed around by an outside event that you don’t control and can’t change. You let
an outside circumstance determine how you feel and act. It doesn’t need to be this
way. There’s a gap between stimulus, and response.
It may be vanishingly small, but it’s always there. Thanks to this gap, we always have
the chance to choose our voluntary reaction or non-reaction to this or any given situation.
If you want to get in that gap and choose your best response, you need the awareness
to spot your first impression. Once you recognize this impression, you can step back, and question
whether this impression is good to go with or not. This way, you can avoid rash, impulsive,
and automatic behavior. In this case ask yourself –
Is getting angry or cursing going to smooth the traffic? Once you realize that it’s
not going to help, you can choose a productive alternative like listening to an audiobook
or music. This way you are thinking before reacting and taking charge of the situation.
If you look at this triangle of happiness, you will find eudaimonia -a smooth and happy
life - at the centre. It is achieved by
Living with arete: That is to express your highest self in every moment
Accepting whatever happens which means to focus on the things we control, and accept
the rest as it happens, and; Taking responsibility: If we take responsibility
and don’t let outside events determine our wellbeing, then we can express our best self
and become supremely happy.
4. Be mindful of your anger
Seneca says “We shouldn’t control anger, but destroy it entirely — for what control
is there for a thing that’s fundamentally wicked?”
Anger, is defined as is an intense emotional state involving a strong uncomfortable and
hostile response to a perceived provocation, hurt or threat. We believe that getting angry
is not always bad and having the right amount of anger at the right time is justified. However,
according to the Stoics there is no such thing as a good degree of anger. Anger is unreasonable,
and it damages society, hence it is “unnatural” According to Seneca, anger is a binary emotion.
The emotion of anger has a forward momentum that is far more extreme than other emotions.
The moment you realize you are angry, you are already under its control. He called anger
a temporary madness and a poor guide to happiness, and that even when justified, we should never
act on the basis of it because it affects our sanity. Anger interferes with problem-solving
and good judgment, and makes you rash and rigid in your thinking. While fear drives
us to flee, anger drives us to aggress and confront. Anger motivates revenge and retaliation.
Hence Seneca advises us to be mindful about our own anger triggers so that we will be
able to catch and neutralize them far earlier.
5. Know where you are going
Seneca says “If a man knows not to which port he sails, no wind is favorable”
Seneca views happy life as a path and you can’t follow that path if you don’t know
where you are going or what that end goal is. By path we mean the desired aim, function,
and use of our life.
Most of us in the modern world, see life as doing what we are told and living out a pre-defined
existence. We limit our life to studying, working, having a family, and then eventually
dying in our old age. We mostly live our lives on autopilot, without conscious purpose.
We rarely take the time to reflect on life and all that we’re required to do and be.
We have no purpose overall to give meaning to events, nor do we have any clear idea of
their own identity or who we truly are. Many of us are depressed and unhappy because our
lives lack direction and meaning.
The best way to find your path is by knowing who you are, what you want, and how you can
achieve your goals. When you have your answers you have a roadmap so you can start living
a purposeful life that will help you achieve more and more of what you want. One of the
greatest gifts as a human is the ability to choose how to live your life. The choice to
be a parent or not; the choice to be college educated or choose an apprenticeship; or the
choice to break the rules by designing your own future. The benefits of making the right
choices are immense and the feeling of fulfillment even better. Which is why to be happy, you
need to learn how to find purpose and meaning in life for yourself.
6. Don’t follow the crowd
Seneca says “You ask me to say what is particularly important to avoid. My answer is this: a mass
crowd. It is something to which you cannot entrust yourself yet without risk”
We live in a world where we follow the same path our colleagues and friends followed just
not to seem odd. As soon as someone starts doing anything differently, the members of
the crowd they belong to quickly try to bring them back by calling them names such as insane,
mad or crazy and by warning him about the danger he might face if he steps out of line.
The truth is, by following the crowd, you are limiting your potential for growth. You
will settle for what you think is good enough. You will not stress yourself out by thinking
of ways you can improve because you’ve already accepted that you are normal because you are
doing whatever the majority is doing. We need to realise that our happiness comes from within,
not from other people and being different is not a bad thing at all. According to Seneca,
if one wants to live a happy life, then he should limit his association with the crowd.
He believed that the contagious emotions of the crowd tempted individuals to be self-indulgent
and self-serving. In his estimation, it was best to “neither hate nor imitate the world.”
Instead he advised to “shun both courses: you should neither become like the bad because
they are many, nor be the enemy of the many because they are unlike you.” Retire into
yourself, he said. Imagine your life as a movie and yourself as a director. You need
to be yourself. You need to distinguish yourself from others and have your own character, so
people will recognize you. Be unique, be innovative, be yourself, and focus on what you do best.
7. Admit money into your home, not your heart Seneca says “Wealth is the slave of a wise
man. The master of a fool” According to stoicism, You don’t have to
stop enjoying material things as long as you don’t become attached to them.
Money is simply a tool to get what we want and need. Most of us mainly need money for
2 things – Security and Access. Security means getting the basics like food, clothes
and shelter. Access means getting things that you desire like a fancy phone, car or any
other luxury. The problem with luxury, argued Seneca, is that it develops unnatural desires
in us, which are increasingly difficult to fulfill. These desires, naturally, are not
“up to us,” meaning that they are external goods over which we do not have complete control,
and which are therefore bound to make us slaves. Yet another issue with seeking luxury is that
it requires constant and difficult effort, which means the commitment of a significant
amount of time and resources. Needless to say, such effort, time and resources could
instead be deployed to go after things that are truly worthwhile. According to a 2010
research paper from the Center for Health and Well-being at Princeton University, happiness
and income are correlated, but only up to $75,000, or $89,000 in 2020.The emotional
well-being of a person rises as annual income increases up to about $89,000, but no further.
In fact, happiness might tend to decrease. So make sure you own your wealth and it doesn’t
own you.
8. Cherish the present Seneca says “Every day as it comes should
be welcomed and reduced forthwith into our own possession as if it were the finest day
imaginable.” The one thing that all of us have in common
is a desire to be happy. All of us want to live a life that has as little unhappiness,
and stress as possible. But a great number of us, despite truly wanting to be happy and
worry-free, are anything but, because we spend a great portion of our lives thinking about
the past and the future rather than the present moment. One of the unique characteristics
of human beings is that we talk to ourselves all the time. This internal voice loves attention.
It rarely shuts up and is a great story-teller creating stories about our past and future.
Let’s first examine the past. All of us have made mistakes, made bad choices, hurt
or been hurt, rejected or taken advantage of. Repeatedly thinking about our past, the
things that we have no control over any more like regretting not doing better in school
or being bitter about breaking up with your partner or any other event or experience is
the main cause for almost all unhappiness, regret, anger, hate, bitterness, and resentment.
We need to understand that the past is gone forever. We can never return to nor change
it, no matter how hard we try, and the best thing we can do is learn the valuable lessons
from our imperfect past and become better people.
Now let’s take a closer look at the future. Thinking about future events and consequences
is paramount to human survival. We need to protect ourselves from danger and, therefore,
anticipate or fear certain situations or events before they occur.
We experience life solely in the present, so if you only plan for tomorrow, you will
be missing your only opportunity to feel happiness: this very moment. Constant worry, fear and
anxiety will not prevent the future event from happening but will only make us a victim
of the things that have not happened yet. Hence we should do our best in the present
moment and accept the consequences. The solution to unhappiness and anxiety is
to be present. This is often referred to as mindfulness, consciousness, and awareness.
If being completely honest with yourself, you would admit that your current situation
is relatively problem-free. You have shelter and food. Your life is probably not in danger
right at this moment. You have choices available in the current moment. Happiness is with you
at this very moment, waiting for you to seize it. So cherish every morning you wake up.
Look at every day as a gift, and the most wonderful day of your life.
9. Give without expectations Seneca says “Wherever there is a human being,
there is an opportunity for a kindness” Recent studies suggest that giving to others
makes us happy, even happier than spending on ourselves. When you were a kid, there was
nothing better than receiving a gift. You didn't know exactly what was inside, but you
knew it was for you, and it was probably something you wanted. We all grow up and eventually
reach an age at which giving gifts becomes just as thrilling as receiving them. We find
the joy of making someone happy is more powerful than instant gratification.. There's something
inexplicably satisfying in witnessing people unwrap a gift and respond with unadulterated
amazement and happiness. You have made them smile, and that's worth far more than money
or any material item. Expanding this, we find great satisfaction in giving back to the world
around us. Many of us are far more privileged than others, and when we become aware of that
we often have an innate desire to help the less fortunate. There are times where we want
to give back to society or our community, but we end up falling short. Our busy schedules
of our work life, being a parent, running a house, does not leave much room for acts
of kindness. Because we don’t have enough money to donate, we often do not contribute
anything at all,. However, contribution does not necessarily financially. You can also
donate your time and effort or even material goods like clothes or gadgets you don’t
use anymore. But when you perform good deeds for people, you shouldn’t be asking for
payment - even in the form of gratitude. If you are doing well, the satisfaction of helping
is the payment. 10. Always be youthful
Seneca says “Hang on to your youthful enthusiasms -- you'll be able to use them better when
you're older” Being youthful means having or showing the
freshness or energy of someone who is young. When we start out in adult life, we are, on
average, pretty cheerful. Things go downhill from youth to middle age where many of us
succumb to what is commonly known as the mid-life crisis. For many, when we turn 40, we suddenly
find ourselves slowing down, gaining weight and losing muscle tone. We’re less energized
than we were just a few short years ago. However, research shows that people who feel younger
than their chronological age are likely to live longer, happy lives. People who feel
young tend to have 3 things in common. They are-
Keeping your mind agile your body active,
and staying socially active You can keep your mind active by joining a
book club, or joining a community choir or chorus and even playing video games! You can
also join community colleges that are full of courses that you can take to learn new
skills, or brush up on subjects you have always wanted to improve.
To keep your body active, you don’t need to go to the gym for an hour every day or
run marathons. all you need is to add movement to your day. Practicing eastern disciplines
like Yoga, Qigong and Taichi are a great way to seek harmony between your body and mind
so that you can face the world with strength, joy, and serenity.
The best way to stay socially active is by Strengthening ties with your family and friends.
Many people who report feeling younger than their age report spending time with people
they care about. Make special outings with your family and friends a priority in your
life and if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with them.
Laughing makes you feel alive. So laugh with your heart, with your mind, and with your
soul. Let every cell in your system burst with laughter every day.
As we said at the beginning, this video is sponsored by NordVPN. Typically, when you
try to access a website on the internet, you start by connecting to your internet service
provider, and they redirect you to any websites that you wish to visit, which means they can
see and log everything you do online. They may even sell your browsing history to advertisers,
government agencies, and other third parties. This risk only increases once you log on to
any public hotspot, either in hotels, cafes or at airports, since anyone with basic hacking
skills could access your passwords, banking details, credit card numbers, and any other
private details you send every time you go online. Here’s where NordVPN comes into
play. It tunnels your internet traffic through a specially configured remote server. This
way, NordVPN hides your IP address and encrypts all the data you send or receive. The encrypted
data looks like gibberish to anyone who intercepts it — it is impossible to read.
All of us here at Philosophies for Life use Nord Vpn. The app makes using a VPN super
easy. Nord has over 5500 superfast servers in 60 countries. This means you can watch
whatever you want, regardless of your region. For any reason if our channel or any of our
video for any reason is blocked in your country, you can access it using NordVPN. You can save
your favorite servers and can have up to 6 simultaneous connections.
Click on the link below in the description and
use our promo code to a massive 81% off plus 4 months free on NordVPN’s membership. Take
the first step to protect your online privacy by clicking on the link in the description.
If you enjoyed this video, please do make sure to check out our Stoicism playlist and
for more videos to help you find success and happiness using ancient philosophical wisdom,
don’t forget to subscribe. Thanks so much for watching.