- Hi, and welcome to my YouTube channel,
where I share all tips around being a courageous leader
and leading with strength,
emotional intelligence, and authenticity.
Today we're talking about feedback.
And feedback can be such an awkward
and vulnerable experience,
whether we are the one delivering feedback
or we're on the receiving end.
Feedback is never easy.
So in this two-part series,
I wanna talk about how we can actually receive feedback
with grace and how we can deliver feedback effectively.
And why is it so important to be able to receive feedback?
Now, if we want to be able to provide feedback as a leader,
as a manager, as a leader in our own business,
we need to be able to receive feedback first.
If we understand how to master receiving feedback,
then we are also going to be much better equipped
at delivering feedback to the people that work with us.
Now, when I think about my experiences
with receiving feedback,
I have to admit that very often
I get defensive straight away and I might arm myself up
and I'm ready for a fight.
How about you?
What do you think?
Take a moment to reflect.
How do you respond when somebody comes to you and says,
"Hey, I have some feedback for you."
Most likely you might feel like I do.
You might feel awkward and you might get ready for a fight
and feel defensive.
But what happens when we get defensive,
when we receive feedback is that we actually stop listening.
We're only listening for what we want to prove wrong.
We're listening and preparing ourselves
for a response to fight back.
And we're either going to start to defend our actions
or we're going to justify our actions,
or we might be actually starting to blame other people.
Instead, if we were to look at feedback for information
and information that can help us to get truly better
and masters at our craft,
then we were able to just take it in with grace
and then decide what we do with it.
So I wanna walk you through a few tips
of how you can receive feedback well
and how you can make the most out of it.
Now the first important step is that you start
to reflect on what are your usual mechanisms
or strategies that you use when you receive feedback.
Is it that you start to blame others?
Is it that you start to get defensive or angry or shout,
or is it that you maybe retract and you don't respond all?
How do you respond to feedback?
And now if you, for example,
I've done your CliftonStrengths assessment,
you can start to look at your strengths
and start to see how can your strengths support you
while you receive feedback.
But even if you haven't done that assessment,
you can start to look at how can my usual strengths,
how can I receive feedback better?
And then go into
that situation well prepared and equipped.
When somebody provides you feedback, say,
thank you, thank you for taking the time.
That will make you react
a little bit more positive towards your feedback.
Keep telling yourself that you're grateful
for the feedback because it is information
that will help you to get better.
No matter the intentions of the person
that provides you with the feedback,
it is information that will help you to make decisions
and develop yourself going forward.
Tell yourself in your head that you're courageous,
that you are brave enough to take on board this feedback.
If you feel like you are getting worked up too much,
and it's getting too tough to listen to that feedback,
then you can also ask to postpone the conversation
and there's really no harm, no shame in that.
If you feel like you're not able to manage your emotions
in that moment, then just feel free to postpone
that discussion and get back to it later at a later stage.
This can be very helpful if we weren't prepared
for the feedback for example,
if somebody just sprung that feedback on us
and we didn't have an appointment set, for example.
So it came out of the blue and then
it can be really hard to manage our emotions.
So ask to reschedule and to find another time when you
are better prepared and maybe you can even choose the time.
Once you've received feedback, give yourself some time
and tell yourself that feedback is only information.
There's no true or wrong here.
It is information.
It's an opinion of the other person.
It's about what they value and what they think is right.
That doesn't mean that it's the right thing for you to do.
So see it as information,
and then you can decide what you're going to do with that.
Allow yourself to process your emotions first,
take some time.
And then when you feel more centered again,
go back to the feedback and start to look at,
"Okay, what can I take from this?
"What does this actually mean?"
And you will find, if you get back
to the feedback after you have calmed down
after you have been able to manage your emotions,
that you will actually look at it
and you can see the value in that.
So to recap, make sure you stay open-minded and you listen
for the feedback.
Don't listen to respond, listen to understand.
If you feel overwhelmed, ask to postpone the discussion.
Tell yourself that you are brave enough
to receive that feedback
'cause you know, it's important for you to grow.
Feedback is only information
and you get to decide what you do with that information.
And lastly, take your time to process your emotions first,
before you go back to the feedback
and decide what you're going to do with it.
I hope that you found these tips helpful.
If so, make sure that you subscribe to my channel
and you will be notified when the next video comes up,
which will be around how to deliver feedback effectively.
So make sure that you tune in for that one.
Thank you so much for watching.