I think Ireland has to get something straight with the rest of the world, or maybe just Hollywood.
You see we don't all sound like leprechauns on acid.
Thank you Tom Cruise, Gerry Butler, and Jesus have mercy on our soul, Julia Roberts.
[Shudders]
There's actually a big difference if you're either from the North, South, East, or West of Ireland.
Let's break it down and set this record straight.
Are you listening, Roberts?
Dublin is the capital and the accent here was heavily influenced by the British occupation of Ireland for more than 800 years.
What's odd is that for such a relatively small city, we have two very distinct accents.
Generally assigned to North and South side.
[Northern Dublin accent] On the North side you'll hear people talking like thisss
Here the "d" replaces "th", so you get a lot of dis, dat, dese, and dose.
And if there's a "t" at the end of a word bleedin' forgeh ih!
[Southern Dublin accent] Venture south and they'll speak absolutely like this.
The South Dublin resident is all about the o's and the oo's.
Elongate those vowels like yah yuh, like totally the opposite of the narrow sounds of the Northsider.
[Normal accent] Moving into the South we come to [jumps to Cork accent] the People's Republic of Cork, boy!
For some weird reason everyone here speaks a few octaves higher than the rest of the country, boy!
It's a little bit forlorn and a little bit melodic.
And every now and again "boy" is thrown in for the craic.
Fair play to ya, boy!
[West Cork accent] Now move down a bit and your into West Cork where it's like a bit thicker and a bit faster
[Normal accent] Then there's Kerry and that is probably the jewel in the Irish accent crown.
Not sure if even Irish people understand this, unless they're from the Kingdom "itshelf".
[Kerry accent] Drops fast and furious. "Sh" features in even when it's not there and you know like sure doesn't it "sh"ound better for it yknow?
[Limerick accent] Limerick is more nasal and south from here, so you can tell you left the Kingdom far behind!
You might get called a gowl, if your acting the maggot with your langer.
[Northern Ireland accent] Now we're going way up North.
I tell you it's very different especially in Belfast
Sure the Scottish plantation of Ulster that was so successful that it changed the way they speak forever.
No is pronounce "nyh", 'I" means yes, and a wee cracker is a beautiful girasol.
[Northern Dublin accent] So this is how we sound. Chou know what I mean bout.
[Southern Dublin accent] And it's totes generalization like
[Cork accent] But sure it is what it is, boy
[Limerick accent] And it's only a broad guide from an Irish gowl like, but sure
We're only having the craic.
[Sad music plays]