♪ This is it Middle school ♪
♪ And we'll make This day look easy ♪
♪ But we're not lit We're not cool ♪
♪ And my stomach's Really queasy ♪
♪ I don't think I can Go through with it ♪
♪ Just take a deep breath And get a grip ♪
♪ Our strategy is tight Our game is strong ♪
♪ We got this We got this ♪
♪ We'll get through it All together ♪
♪ We got this We got this ♪
♪ We're invincible ♪
♪ We're a team We're a troop ♪
♪ We're the best forever Friend group ♪
♪ I've got your back I know that you've got mine ♪
♪ Trust me, we'll be fine ♪
♪ Feeling impending doom ♪
♪ Getting shoved Inside a locker ♪
♪ I can't find my classroom ♪
♪ And this machine Just ate my dollar ♪
♪ I miss pizza day already ♪
♪ Look at this delish Mystery spaghetti ♪
♪ We can rule these hallways Side by side ♪
♪ Trust me, we'll be fine ♪
♪ We got this ♪
♪ Trust me, we'll be fine ♪
♪ We got this ♪
♪ Trust me, we'll be fine ♪
[bell rings]
- Whoa! - Wow!
Hey, guys, I'm Mrs. Salter.
Okay, so here's the lowdown.
Juice bar in the back, help yourself.
Also, there are cards on the desks
with your names on 'em. Rip Hardcore themed.
I love the show.
And he is a personal friend of mine.
[in unison] Wow!
See? I told you guys, there is nothing to worry about.
Um, Mrs. Salter? I can't find my desk.
My name's Lincoln Loud?
Oh, okay, here you are.
Looks like you're in Mr. Bolhofner's class.
[gasps]
No, that can't be right!
I know I requested this class!
For the love of sponge cake, say you turned in the form!
Say it!
I did. See? There's a check mark.
[sniffing]
That's not a check, that's a Flippee stain!
[groaning]
Mrs. Salter, can't he stay?
I mean, he's already here.
Please!
Yeah, we have to stick together.
Yeah, we just sang a dang song about it.
Oh, I am so sorry, guys, but we're full.
Lincoln's gonna have to report to Mr. Bolhofner's class.
Where's that?
The trailer?
Here's a juice for the road.
It's quite a hike.
[whimpering]
Cool! I've always wanted to wear a lab coat.
Welcome, fifth graders.
We're continuing our work with live mealworms today,
so everyone grab a case from the back of the class.
[grunting]
[shouting]
Sorry, guys. That was my fault.
I was up late making this--
[shouting]
Lynn, what the heck?
Rule number three:
Never own up to making a mistake!
But I spilled the worms.
So? Do you want to be like the sixth graders who...
Wait, hold on. Clyde needs to hear this, too.
Do you want to be like the sixth graders
who owned up to farting during a standardized test?
Hey, look! It's Farty McStink Pants!
[both] "Own up to nothing."
[growling]
[chuckles] Loving the aggro body language!
Here you go.
Double meatball subs with extra sriracha.
Thanks. I'm normally not a hot sauce guy,
but after this morning, I'm feeling dangerous.
Great. So my rules are sinking in?
Yeah. Some kid just came over
to ask if she could borrow a chair,
and guess what Clyde said?
I don't think so, pal.
Boom! McBride for the win!
So, what are we doing after lunch?
Well, actually, we orientation buddies
are supposed to let you guys
fly solo for the rest of the day.
See how you do on your own.
- Really? - Already?
Don't worry. You guys totally got this.
Now, hands in!
Three, two, one... dominate!
Wow, Clyde, your hands are so soft.
Oh, thank you.
We'll work on that.
First class of the afternoon.
The wonders of watercolors.
To the art department!
Uh, which way's that again?
Maybe if we just take a quick peek at the map...
No! Lynn's first rule, remember?
Don't look like a noob!
Right.
[bell ringing]
[gasps]
Oh, no. We're going to be tardy!
Hey, you guys lost?
Nice try, bucko!
But we're not falling for one of your upperclassmen pranks!
- [panting] - Way to dominate, Clyde.
"Bucko" was a nice touch.
Thanks. My dads were watching a cop show last night.
And that's why we are absolutely perfect
to restart the news show.
Oh, thank you.
Well, I appreciate your enthusiasm,
but there's a reason we ended that news show:
Nobody watched it.
The Daily Marsupial called it
"a punishment worse than detention".
But our show could be different!
I have news experience!
And this face was made to be on TV!
[sighs] I don't know.
Please, give us a chance!
We've already practiced our Action News team pose.
[nervous chuckle]
Fine, I'll give you a shot.
- Woo-hoo! - Yeah!
We're going live in five, four, three, two...
Good morning, Royal Woods Middle School!
- I'm Lincoln Loud. - And I'm Clyde McBride.
And, kangaroos, this is your news.
Breaking news. Today is Mr. Bolhofner's birthday.
We've got reporter Stella Zhau live on the scene.
That's right, Clyde. I'm here with the birthday boy.
Mr. B, how does it feel to turn 62?
I'm 34!
[nervous chuckle]
Now Rusty Spokes with sports.
Rusty, you're live.
[nervous chuckle] I'm here
with the soccer team's captain, Lynn Loud.
Ugh. Rusty, we're trying to practice here.
[nervous chuckle] Lynn, wait!
How are you feeling about today's game against Hazeltucky?
More like, Hazel Lucky if They Score a Goal!
Don't move, I need to run a few drills.
That's today's sports news.
Lincoln and Clyde, back to--
[grunts]
[both] Ooh...!
Kicking it with Lynn Loud
is definitely not a goal of mine.
[laughing]
Let's check back in with Stella, who's learning how to whip up
that famous cafeteria one-bean chili.
- I'm here with Chef Pat! - [grunts]
And together we're cooking up some trouble.
Is that a shoe?
[grunts]
Well, that's the news for today.
From all of us here at Action News,
have a hoppy day, kangaroos!
[laughing]
That's a wrap!
Oh!
[dance music playing]
I can't do this!
[coughing]
Hi, everyone.
We had a dance routine prepared,
but we're actually not going to perform it.
Because of us, our friend didn't get to perform his magic act.
That magic show was really important to the feller.
So, Lincoln, if you're here, we're really sorry.
[booing]
[laughing]
Guys, I don't think he's coming back.
Okay, sorry.
I guess that's the end of the talent show.
[Lincoln] No, it's not!
Now, who's ready for some magic?
Ladies and gentlemen,
my name is Lincoln the Magnificent.
And these guys in the shiny pants
are my volunteers.
Their methods may be questionable,
but they're always looking out for me.
Chef Pat, kick it.
[dramatic music starts playing]
Ah!
Ah...!
[laughing]
What?
Ah!
Uh!
What?!
[gasping]
[chuckles]
Ta-da!
[cheering] Go, Lincoln!
[cheering]
[bell rings]
And how long has it been that color?
Guys, they're coming!
They're coming! [grunts]
Zach, for the last time,
Bigfoot and the abominable snowman
are not coming for you.
Agree to disagree,
but right now I'm talking about an alien spaceship!
I've been doing the calculations.
Every 43 years, 4 months, 7 weeks and 11 days,
there have been alien flyby sightings.
So, in honor of the occasion, I'm having a...
[imitates an alien language]
Yes! Awesome!
I don't know what that is.
That's alien language from the Clevarious galaxy.
Human translation: full on rager!
Alien flyby?
[laughs] Count me in.
I can't wait to say "I told you so"
when there's no UFO.
Also, his mom makes really good cookies.
Uh, Zach?
Are you sure this party's a good idea?
Positive.
I've been talking about aliens since I could talk,
and now is my chance to prove to everyone that they're real!
Who's in?
- I'm here for you, buddy. - Me too.
I'll supply the tunes.
I knew I could count on you guys!
This party's gonna be... [imitates alien language]
Uh... epic?
Sick!
Sea cucumbers vomit their stomachs and intestines
as a means of tangling up predators.
[grunting]
Hey, don't scratch that desk, Loud!
It's on loan from the kindergarten.
Sorry, it's just a little small.
Instead of complaining, you should be thanking me.
You get to sit by Hank,
our beloved class pet.
[screams]
Hmm...
Excuse me, Mr. Bolhofner?
I'm not feeling well.
[coughs]
If you're not bleeding, then you'll survive
till the end of the day.
[growling]
[groaning]
[chomping] Ow! Mr. Bolhofner?
He just bit me!
Can I go to the nurse now?
[growling]
Fine, but give Hank his tooth back.
[grunting]
[panting]
[whistling]
Stop! You're going 5 in a 3!
Lynn, come on, I just need to talk to the principal!
I've got important business!
No one's above the law, stinkin'!
I took an oath!
Fine, can I just get a drink first?
You always say hydration is important.
Huh, I do say that.
Okay, one drink.
[spits]
[gasps]
- Whoa! - [shouts]
[grunting] Where'd he go?
Phew!
[whistling]
Oh, I've got a real bad feeling down deep in my bones.
Me too. Middle school gym class is no grade school gym class.
Please be yoga. Please be yoga.
[whistling] Okay, kids, who's ready to dodge some balls?
My every nightmare's about to come true.
Nobody panic! Initiate scorpion formation!
Huh?
[grunting]
What happened?
We just got our rumps handed to us.
Without Lincoln, the formation's off.
Our flank is exposed.
[grunting]
Every man for himself!
[grunting]
Hey, Lincoln, what's with the white board?
"Sorry everyone. Lost my voice. Can't do solo?!"
[gasping]
What are we going to do?
Well, I could try to carry on in Lincoln's footsteps.
I do know all the words to the solo.
I guess that'll have to do.
But district competition is tomorrow night.
Come on, everyone.
Let's start rehearsals.
Yes!
Treble-makers, the Home-Ec Club
is making your costumes for tomorrow.
They're here to gather inspiration.
I say we go bold, with feathers and jeggings.
I would never let anyone take my measurements.
I wouldn't want a record of me listed anywhere.
[sighs] Why don't we start rehearsals now?
♪ If you're feeling out of sorts And everything has gone awry ♪
♪ If you think You've lost your way ♪
♪ Well there's no need To sit and cry ♪
♪ In this herky-jerky world You shouldn't-- ♪
Ah!
- [grunts] - Sorry.
I'm still getting the hang of these wires!
[groans]
♪ In this herky-jerky world You shouldn't need to... ♪
What comes next?
Whoa!
[grunting]
[screaming]
Stop, stop!
Okay fine, let's just...
Let's just forget about the flying element for now
and practice on the ground.
[screams]
[Paula] Wasn't me!
♪ If you think You've lost your way ♪
♪ Well there's no need To sit and cry ♪
♪ In this herky-jerky world ♪
♪ You shouldn't need To say goodbye! ♪
[shouts disoriented]
[thud] Cut! Stop!
Why don't we practice the solo standing still?
With no disco ball.