- Merry Christmas, internet.
I'm Alison Foreman, an entertainment reporter with Mashable.
And whether you're baking cookies
or thinking about lighting the Christmas tree on fire,
nearly every Christmas-time mood
pairs perfectly with holiday horror movies.
But which of these Noel-set nightmares
are actually worth your time and effort?
To help you kick off your binge,
here are my top five favorite picks
for best holiday horror movies of all time.
Number five: "Black Christmas."
We're starting things off with one of the longest holiday
horror franchises in history.
Director Bob Clark's 1974 slasher,
"Black Christmas," has been remade twice,
once in 2006 and again in 2019.
Both revisits were pretty good,
but it's tough to outdo a classic
as timelessly excellent as Clark's original.
It's a really believable story of a bunch of sorority
sisters being hunted down by a sadistic killer
that's actually probably going to stick with you.
There is a lot of dark imagery.
I mean, just so much suffocating.
Number four: "Into the Dark: A Nasty Piece of Work."
Fans of "Ready Or Not" can rejoice in another game night
at the house of a conceited rich dude,
with "Into the Dark: A Nasty Piece of Work."
In this "Belko Experiment"
meets "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation" mashup,
Kyle Howard stars as Ted, a corporate underling vying
for his holiday bonus at a terrifying work dinner party.
Julian Sands and Molly Hagan undeniably steal the show
as Ted's evil boss, and equally evil wife,
but the whole cast honestly nails it.
It's so funny and so good,
and it has this super fun "Knives Out" kind of ending.
You're just...you're going to love it. Trust me.
Number three: "Better Watch Out."
I probably shouldn't like "Better Watch Out"
quite as much as I do,
what with the uneven pacing
and remarkably confusing character development,
but given its one really excellent "Home Alone" reference,
if you've seen the movie,
you know exactly what I'm talking about,
"Better Watch Out" has been on my must-watch list
ever since it came out in 2015.
In this shocking home invasion story,
Levi Miller starts as a preteen with a crush
on his teenage babysitter, played by Olivia DeJonge.
The two enjoy a relatively normal,
albeit slightly awkward, wintry night in,
until a stranger calls the house.
Trust me, this one is better left unspoiled.
Number two: "Krampus."
Wow, where to begin with "Krampus?"
From Tony Colette and Adam Scott as a sniping couple
to the best demonic toys since "Child's Play,"
"Krampus" delivers a nativity of cinematic terror
through an eerie apocalyptic tone
vaguely akin to "The Mist."
It takes a long time for the chaos of "Krampus" to kick off,
and the deeply unlikable family
at the story's center does not make that waiting easy.
But, once the demon of European folklore does appear,
this hellish sleigh ride is frightfully fantastic.
I mean, seriously, it's the anti-Santa.
What more do you want?
Number one: "Gremlins."
What horror fan doesn't want a mogwai for Christmas?
In Joe Dante's horror comedy classic,
Zach Galligan stars as Billy Peltzer, a young bank teller
gifted a dangerous creature for the holidays.
Iconic for its sometimes adorable monsters,
and spectacular use of a microwave,
"Gremlins" is a sci-fi tour through Christmas nostalgia
that never disappoints.
Well, except for when Phoebe Cates has to do
the whole my-dad-died-getting-stuck-in-a-chimney monologue.
That part is always a bummer.
That's all I've got for this festive yet frightful season.
Happy haunting and merry Christmas.