So let's look at question two.
In this question students need to
describe the advantages and disadvantages of somebody studying
overseas. We've looked before at what students need to do to answer this
question so now let's look at the answer that one student gave to see how it would do
in the IELTS exam. This is their answer and if we think first of all about the
treatment
the first thing we think around aids word length and in terms of word length
this is over 300 words so its founding which we know it's long enough we think
about if they understand the question and in the introduction they explain
what they're testing is going to be about and importantly they do so using
different words to the question if you repeat words and phrases directive from
the question they will not be counted as part of your word count when we look at
this as saying we can also see in the conclusion that they have a clear answer
to the question they describe the advantages and disadvantages and most
importantly they give their opinion which is something that the question was
asking for if we look at the essay more detail we can see in the second
paragraph that identifying different advantages and in this paragraph they
talk about disadvantages
because there's a clear answer to the question this june is on target for
their score of 6.5 if we move on to think about coherence and cohesion one
of the first things we'd look at his paragraph thing to make sure every idea
has its own and that the paragraphs are a good length in this question that
might be a slight problem with the third paragraph because it isn't quite as long
or fully developed as it should be
however each paragraph has a very clear purpose and addresses a different part
of the question so that's good when we look at the answer there's a logic to it
as an organization that we can see when you read this answer that first of all
there soon is going to talk about the advanced features beautiful looking at
the disadvantages and then giving their opinion
looking a little more closely we can see that the shoe is making use of cohesive
devices of language that connects ideas together what also important is that
they're making use of language which references items so they don't have to
repeat things
this is necessary to show ideas all connected and it lets you talk about
something without using the same language all the time looking at this
it's clear that this student would be on target in terms of coherence and
cohesion the next right here to look at is but calculating the lexical resource
and generally this answer has a high level of vocabulary there's a long
sophisticated language and also the use of nice terms like experience culture
shock take the initiative and it's important to have these chunks of
language these fraser's of words that commonly used together what's also good
about this and it is a variety of language so when the shoe talks about
loneliness they can also talk about a feeling of being isolated and this use
of synonyms is very important to show the language that you have it is good to
show as much of your vocabulary as possible if you make a mistake that
doesn't have to be a bad thing in IL you still get benefit but trying to use
sophisticated vocabulary looking at this there's a nice range of vocabulary
that's good right and the some high-level vocabulary in use and so this
would also be on target
the final category to think about is grandma now when we look at this very
good grammatical items there's also a mistake where the student hasn't really
gone bank and looks at their this is an example of a sentence where the student
had two different ideas and put them in the same sentence
the problem comes at the end where they say he can be isolating that doesn't
dramatically fit with the sentence and they would have had to have edited it
perhaps to say something like when settling into a new country which can be
isolating so this is a problem however there are still quite a few examples of
sophisticated language use this first one is a good use
own parallel structures they seized when we used the same structure throughout
the sentence
we have an increasing student independence which is now widening of
cultural experience which is a noun and formation of a more holistic person
which is another now so we have three
used in panel there's also use old models may could might and what's nice
that this is a passive model we have future continuous and also sophisticated
sent instructions like this one so even though their mistakes in this generally
the control and accuracy of the grandma is very did so again this student would
be on target when we look at the answer it's a clear answer to the question
which is well organized and users accurate grammar and vocabulary be so we
understand everything that the student is trying to say as they say would be on
target for the 6.5 this June would like