[music]
M: So a little while ago we had a donut battle video.
[flashback] S: We have two cards.
S: A 'Donut' card and a 'No Donut' card. We're gonna have to pick.
S: Whoever picks the 'Donut' card gets their pick of the donut.
M: Unfortunately that donut location is now closed all over Japan :<
M: Which means, I'm sorry Simon. You're never gonna be able to get your revenge on me~
[flashback] S: oH NOOOO
S: oH FFU- *sheep baaa* M: OHOhoHOhoHOhoH
M: OHOHOHOHohOHohO
S: Oh fu- *baaaaa*
/ Martina in happy mode while Simon cries in defeat #saddothrakimanwarrior /
S: Venge isn't the word. JUSTICE is the word!
S: I need some proof that the world makes sense and is fair and balanced.
M: It seemed pretty fair and balanced to me considering you win everything and I won almost non stop in that video.
S: So today we're doing 'THE BATTLE OF THE COOKIES' ╰༼=ಠਊಠ=༽╯
S: In which we have two cards, you pick them blindly
S: If you have a cookie card you eat
S: If you get an X you eat NOTHING.
M: Today is going to be cookies for me and cookies for Dan.
M: And no cookies for Simon.
S: I'll be really upset.
S: The odds of this happening again are minuscule.
S: Math, look we have to prove that math is real.
S: We can't deny the existence, because then like, what about wormholes?!
S: What about...how do we...
S: Prove...that...gravity exists?!
*happy cookie music*
M: I don't wanna alarm you, but they have milk on tap, and I am a massive milk fan
M: They have milk on, MILK ON TAP
S: Ooohhhoh ohohoh
M: Don't you dare! Don't you even breathe into it
S: No you can just smell
S; There are few smells in the world that are as good as warm cookie smells
M: No, and this is ice-cold milk on tap
M: Like you don't understand how much I want this one
M: I love milk
S: Ok, alright. Ok. You are gonna shuffle the cards, I'm gonna pick the cards because
S: I was predominantly the loser last time.
M: I'm going to be doing it from my left and my right
S: Yeah, ok. M: So if you say left, it's gonna be my left.
S: Yeah, yeah yeah yeah M: If you say right, it's gonna be my right.
S: Yeah yeah x 1000 COME ON! x3 M: Ok, go for it.
M: Go for it! S: You ready?
M: Yes. S: Give me your left card.
*gives left card* S: Your left card.
M: Ok you ready? S: Here we go.
Both: Three, two, one.
- *cries* Oh no *Martina laughs in victory*
~*takes her prize* Oh~ S: What are the odds of this?!
S: No, what are the odds of this?
*Martina starts teasing Simon*
S: Oh my *sniffs* Oh no :( M: Oh, what's that freshly baked-
M: It's actually still warm. It's literally still warm. S: Oh no
*sad music, Simon's heart breaks*
M: I can like melt the chocolate chips. Mmmm~
S: I wasn't super hungry before I came here but
S: as soon as I smelt that then I just felt the little grumbles in my stomach
S: and the little grumbles in my heart.
S: Oh no :( *Martina takes a bites of that delicious cookie*
M: Mmmm~ Oh it's so soft, oh no. Mmm~ S: Oh no. Oh look at it melting... *disbelief*
M: That made me so thirsty, if only I had milk.
M: Oh! Mmmm S: I think you're finding this entertaining.
S: I honestly didn't know.. *laughs of denial and walks away*
M: Mmmmm
(Singing to the tune of Marvin Gayes 'Sexual Healing') 🎶 When I get that feeling I want milk and cookie healing 🎶
*cue sad music*
M: Yep, good day for Martina, good start.
*cue more sad music*
🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶
S: I don't think you understand. I really really like cookies. (same here)
S: Cookies, I just really like cookies?
M: There's a little but of crumbled cookie at the bottom.
S: No, we gotta do this fair!
S: I didn't win it, I don't deserve this (#lifelessonsfromSimon)
S: I will win mine with justice!
M: You don't tell me twice I've already drank the whole thing. S: And I will prove
S: that God exists, ok.
M: I think you're being a lit- chotto (little) dramatic
M: Let's go for something different than just cookies
S: Ok we're gonna edit this out now, next on the list -M: Let's ante this up
S: is an ice-cream sandwich.
M: Made with freshly baked cookies! :D
S: My god, my god. *Martina laughs*
M: Simon *beep* loves ice-cream sandwiches.
🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶
S: Oh my god I didn' 't even taste it I just touched the box
M: I know. S: and I feel happiness already.
M: Ok, so this is two, freshly baked, warm chocolate chip cookies
S: Yeah yeah M: and you can smell, right?
M: And they're using a really special vanilla bean ice-cream from New Zealand. S: Ahh. Oh my god.
M: and then they roll it in cookie crumbs *Simon dying*
M: and sugar and it's so warm it's-
S: Ohh the ice-cream is melting. M: the ice-cream is like, physically,
S: Ok we got to hurry. M: magical,
S: Stop destroying! I gotta win this one. M: That's how warm and fresh this is.
S: Ok, put it down! Separate your cards. I'll pick.
M: Ok, do you want my left hand or my right hand?
*dramatic music*
S: Give me your left hand x2
S: Ok -Here we go.
M: You ready? S: Ready.
-3, 2, 1
Martina wins again!! 🎉🎉🎉
(Here we have the different realms of night and day) *Martina laughing*
M: You even move stools! You're like "That stool was cursed."
M: and you moved us out of it
*excited Martina*
M: Dan, do you want half of my ice-cream sandwich?
M: Wow, can you see what's happening here.
*nom* (I'm craving cookies now)
M: Oh my god.
M: This is so good.
M: The cookie's so soft. It's not like a crusty, old cookie that crunches.
*Meanwhile...* S: Meh meh meh, this cookie's so soft.
M: Wha-
M: Wow.
*Happy Martina which is always good :D* M: Mmmm!!! <3
M: Oh no!
M: Mmmmm
M: Mmmm~~!!
S: I've somehow rigged this game but I'm not telling Simon how.
M: Oh Simon since you're not doing anything, could you grab the camera so Dan could
M: have some ice-cream sandwich?
S: This isn't how this channel was established, alright.
S: This is supposed to be me enjoying food *Dan laughs in the background*
S: Who even eats ice-cream sandwiches like that?
D: *shrugs* I do. (same) S: You're barbarians!
D: Mmm!!
D: Oh this is good.
M: What? D: Oh nice.
D: I mean, whoo
M: Simon did you want a little bit? S: No. (Give me instead)
S: I'm gonna win something for fairsies.
M: Are you gonna win something for fairsies? S: FOR FAIRSIES!!
S: I'm gonna win it for fairsies alright!
M: There's only one little piece of cookie left.
M: Will it be able to hold the weight?
M: Ohh that's a huge amount of ice-cream for such a little bit of cookie.
M: I should probably just eat it.
*nom*
M: Mmmm~
*does a happy dance*
M: Fairness in the world indeed.
M: I like how it's like "It's always cookie time!"
M: and Simon *laughs* hasn't had a single cookie.
S: There's always cookie time? It's never- *beep*
S: That's ok, that doesn't matter, because the third one is the most important one.
S: This is gonna be the grand daddy of all cookie experiences
S: and these two cheater mccheatersons aren't gonna be able
S: to stop me from getting fairness here. (Martina at the back tho)
(So cute <3)
S: Wankers the lot of them
*cue delicious goodness*
(Omg <33)
(Diabetes in a cup D: )
S: Ok so we just got the freak shake and Martina's taking pictures of it.
S: But there're 2 extra staws. If I win,
S: none of you are getting a taste of it.
S: I'm not even gonna breathe in your direction.
S: All these extra staws are decorative. You're not touching ANY of it.
M: Do you ever think that maybe it's your vengeful, unsharing attitude
M:that's what's causing- S: NO! Because I'm Captain Generosity, alright.
S: I always share with people all the time!
M: Roll the video reel- No, because I'm not going to find all the edits of Simon
M: not sharing with me.
S: So what they did, I'm pretty sure they took a whole bunch of ice-cream
S: and they made a milkshake out of it, and then they dip the cup in chocolate
S; and then they put more ice-cream on.
M; Oh sweet child~ s: And then they put the cookies
M: You don't even know S: And then I put on a swim cap
S: and then I dive into the pool of chocolate and eat my way out
S: when I eat this
S: THAT'S WHAT'S ON THE LINE RIGHT HERE!
S: Whooo lordy!
M: Ok this is the Rocky Road freak shake
M: so it comes with marshmallow fluff
S: Look, my nipples can only get so pointy. -so what's more-
S: Ohh!! Is it chilly or am I just hungry? (Note: Not sure how Simon thinks hunger make your nipples perky)
M: Ok, this is your... S: THIS IS IT!
M; Do you want my left hand, or do you want my right hand?
S: I WANT YOUR RIGHT!
M; Is that your final answer? S: YES! GIMME YOUR RIGHT HAND!
M: Here we go. S: You ready?
S: Yes. Both: 3, 2, 1
(AND SIMON IS DA WINNER!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉)
S: I TOLD YOU! Martina thought that she could trick me
S: by making me go left 3 times. M: Left hand 3 yeah that's what I was trying to do.
S: SHE THOUGHT SO!
S: But you're WRONG!
*licks straws* S:You're not touching my milkshake
S: right here. M: That's not nice at all!
*Simon in awe*
S: Look at this. In all of its caloric glory. 🎉
S: Ooo this is has a little bit of chocolate right up here .
M: It's chocolate bark. S: Oh my god.
M: You might need that.
S: Ahhh
S: That is some good-
S: Oh! Look it had a a little frozen chocolate.
S: Little tents above it right there
M: But I love marshmallows :( S: Oh do you love marshmallow fluff?
M: Is that just a mouthful of marshmallows?
S: Mmm!!!
S: Oh give me a napkin. M: It's gonna cost you a spoonful
M: of milkshake. S: *beep* no ima lick my hand.
S: NOTHING OUT OF ME!
S: Arrrrrr! Arrrr!!!
(Note: Strangers walking by must think Simon is rabid.
S: Arr!! S: I'm having such a good time right now.
S: So decadent and delightful.
(Gimme some pls?)
S: Mmm!!
S: Mmmm~
*A wild Martina appears!*
S: You get nothing!
S: Look at how big that bark- do you see all that?
S: Uhh girl you get nothin'.
S:Mmm!!
M: He's quick and wily for his size! S: I'll take that for you.
*destroys it*
M: It's ok, Dan
*a wild spoon appears!*
M: "You have no idea how many spoons are down my pants right now." -Martina 2017 (#Bestquoteever)
M: Spoon after spoon after- S: Why do you have so many spoons in your pants?
M: Because I knew you'd throw it on the ground like a jerk.
*happy Simon and sad Martina :(*
S: Oh yeah girl~
S: It's my birthday. We gonna party like it's my birthday.
S: Broom x7 M: Is this a trick?
S: Come on, get in there. Get in that.
S: Get that x2 GET THAT GIRL, GET THAT GIRL YOU GET THAT.
S: You didn't get that. M: Mmm~!
M: That milk is really fantastic. I think it's the on-tap milk part which
M: makes it taste totally different than just like a milkshake S: Oh my god.
M: where it's blended with ice-cream.
M: It's actually drinkable. You know when you try to drink milkshake out of ice-cream
M: and it just doesn't move?
M: I'm just gonna leave him alone. I feel like this is going up to a rated R
S: I'm just so happy right now!
S: I really thought I was gonna lose the third time.
S: Ooo~~ Baby girl~
M: Aren't you so happy and smug?
M: Hey, I just wanna remind you. I got cookies. I got 2 cookies. S: I didn't try any cookies.
M: You didn't get any cookies! It was cookie time.
M: And what did you have? S: I had a delicious milkshake. It was really great.
M: With marshmallows..
S: Had lots of sugar! It feels so good!
*S & M punches all the haters away*
S: So if you wanna come and experience Cookie Time for yourself
S: It's right at the heart of Harajuku. The station is actually right there.
S: Click on our blog post and we'll tell you exactly how to get here if you wanna come.
MEET UP!
M: Exciting news for those of you that are going to be in Tokyo.
M: On October 7th, we're actually gonna be having a meet up at Cookie Time S: Right
M: What kind of a better location would there be- a place to meet up with cookies?
S: You have a meet up and you have cookies!
S: I mean, come on! M: You can come for just the cookies!
M: Or you can come for cookies, and then to meet us.
M: So we're actually going to be making a big announcement video on that
M: So you guys can click over here and it will take you to the video with all
M: the instructions and how to get here and all that jazz.
M: Ummm, are you gonna be able to focus during that or are you gonna eat cookies?
*Martina gets carried*
S: I'm so happy. I have cookies. I have cookies :D *Martina dying*
S: I love my Ducky (Awww so cute <3)
S: Gonna spin my ducky around.
S: That's it everyone.
*kiss attack <3*
M: Microphone in my chest. S: Oh my god the micropho- *kiss attack 2*
*Martina dying*
M: You did it so much last time with the Go Pro.
S: I love you so much girl, I just want to pick you up. Just let me pick you up. M: No-
Thanks for watching! :)