- In this video, I'm gonna show you the three easy ways
to get it so where you have irresistible energy,
so that people don't leave you.
Once we let go of the belief that we are replaceable,
a lot in our life begins to change,
and in this video, I'm gonna show you the three ways
as to how to actually do that.
The first way, and the first thing to realize about this
when it comes to having irresistible energy
is think of even the word itself of irresistible.
Irresistible has the word resist on it,
and when we get out of our own way
and release the resistance within our own energy field,
we will have more magnetic energy.
Think about it.
If you're with somebody and you are irresistible,
it means, they literally do not have resistance about you.
Now, remember when it comes to attracting love,
and when it comes to energy, in general,
this is about what you feel about you,
and our outer reality is simply mirroring back to us
that which we believe to be true about ourselves.
So, in my own life what I found is that
when I had this block to where I literally believed
that just people were gonna leave me,
and that happened a lot,
I had people that weren't choosing me, you know.
If I was dating someone,
it was like I felt like I wasn't chosen,
and it was something
that was a reoccurring theme in my life,
where I would be with somebody for a period of time,
and then they would either lose interest,
and it was like, there was like some level of dopamine
that would be inside the relationship,
and for a while that would work,
but then eventually it was, like,
I would lose my own center of gravity.
And I think what would happen too,
is I would bend myself so much for other people.
It was like my sense of self-worthiness was low,
so I was like, oh, well, in order to have this love,
in order to continue to have this relationship,
I have to bend backwards,
I have to change the way that I am.
And it was like a, there was a self-fulfilling belief there
that just stated, like, I'm not worthy.
I'm not good enough.
So, I'd find myself bending myself
and really creating a lot of unnecessary resistance
in my relationships, But I would have it to where
people would literally leave me.
And what I eventually did,
is I eventually had to look at the roots of this
because they say, that the patterns we experience
after a certain age, especially like seven years old,
between two and seven, we have these things
that happen to us that are different energetic patterns,
that then we recreate if we don't heal it
many times throughout our lives.
So, between two to seven years old
my guess is if you clicked on this video
you may have had some level of either physical
or emotional abandonment from your parents
or from someone in your life where somebody
maybe wasn't emotionally or physically present for you,
and then the meaning, the story on the inside is,
I must not be worthy.
There must be something wrong with me,
and what then happens is that autopilot belief
and meaning is something that then we go
through childhood, or after childhood,
we go through our relationships
and we continue to keep attracting people
that mirror back that belief.
So, when we talk about this level, in general,
because the way this video is,
is three easy ways to become irresistible,
realize that this is about really getting
to the core of the problem and the core of the problem,
at least for me, and for a lot of people I notice
that I've seen, that I've coached is
that there's an abandonment wound there,
and here's the tricky thing about the abandonment wound.
As being afraid of being abandoned and being afraid
of being rejected, is because we already felt rejected
or abandoned between two and seven years old,
and what ends up happening is we then abandon ourselves
to make everyone else happy, but that's not irresistible.
That's not attractive,
and that eventually loses polarity.
I lost a lot of polarity
in my relationships because I was bending myself,
and as the masculine presence,
you're meant to be grounded and still and solid.
So, eventually what I had to do is I had to look
at this wound, this childhood wound,
and see, oh little Aaron didn't feel acknowledged.
Maybe that's why I created a YouTube channel
and wanted so many, you know, like was really focused
on adding as much value out in the world,
and growing my YouTube channel was
to fill that significant wound.
And at the same time, the abandonment wound
where I realized that I was attracting people
that weren't choosing me
because I wasn't choosing me, the real me.
I wasn't living to my values.
I wasn't, like, honoring myself and my boundaries
and not allowing people to treat me
in different ways or leaving relationships
when it wasn't balanced in that way.
So, if you really want to become irresistible
and you don't want people to leave,
you have to look at the abandonment wound.
You have to look at it and you just have to acknowledge it.
You don't have to really do much with it.
Honestly, you just become aware of it,
and then you'll see why am I becoming a people pleaser,
a nice guy? Or why am I doing this for somebody else?
Or what am I trying to get out of this?
What kind of validation
and love am I trying to get out of this?
That's maybe conditional
because that kind of energy was there growing up.
I mean, some type of conditional love
or not not a feeling of validation.
So, the more we become aware of this energy,
the more our life will begin to change,
because then we'll see that this is strictly
just a story that has been on autopilot.
That's it.
It's a story that's been on autopilot.
It's a meaning that's been on autopilot,
and when I healed this within my life
and became aware of this abandonment wound
that I was living in, oh my God,
so much of my life changed because I stopped abandoning me,
which meant I set boundaries with people,
which is more attractive, more irresistible.
Not only did I set boundaries with people,
but I also started, like, speaking my mind more
and being vulnerable.
Big part of abandonment is you feel
like you can't be vulnerable.
I started expressing myself, you know what?
In this relationship, it's not cool that you did this.
In this friendship, it's not cool that this happened.
I'm actually speak my mind now,
and then people actually respected me more.
It was crazy.
Everything I was afraid of actually had the opposite effect.
I was afraid that if I spoke my mind
and was myself, that people would then reject me.
They actually had respected me more.
So, that was irresistible.
Being yourself is irresistible,
but all we have to do is let go of the abandonment,
like the abandonment energy that's there,
that's telling us we can't be ourselves
because if we were ourselves, we'd be rejected or abandoned.
It's not true.
It's actually the opposite.
You'll be even more respected,
and as you accept yourself more,
so will other people accept you more.
Now, the second key to this is looking
at resistance in general, in your energetic field.
This is an easy way of looking at it
because when you look at your own energy
and you feel into how you feel about you,
realize that energy is being put out,
and other people are feeling that.
By the way, do you all wanna see where I'm at right now?
I'm in Cabo and that's the beach. I think you could see it.
I can't see the, but anyways, wanted to show you.
I'm in Cabo for a couple days
and I still sometimes wanna make videos,
so I'm coming out here.
It's kind of bright.
I have very sensitive eyes.
At least that's the story I tell myself.
So, it's like, I can't just like, look, you know,
some people are really good in the sun,
but me I gotta squint like this.
I'm sorry.
Just kidding.
I'm not sorry.
See, isn't that irresistible that I'm not sorry?
If I was sorry, you'd be like, oh,
he's changing the center of gravity, 'cause he's afraid
of rejection and abandonment, but I'm not sorry, okay?
This is just how my eyes are.
It's just acceptance,
and as I accept myself, you feel that.
So, that's the second step to this process,
is looking at your own energy
and letting go of the resistance by accepting yourself.
So, many times we put all these high things on ourself.
Like we have to be a certain way, you know,
for me to be attractive or accepted
I have to be X, Y, Z, and all this long list,
and it creates so much resistance inside
of our field, and realize this too.
When you look at somebody else and you think of them,
you're literally energetically sending them energy.
So, if you're thinking of someone, you're like,
I hope they text me back.
I hope I get their, I hope they
they wanna go on a date again. I hope this, I hope that.
And you're feeling lack.
You're sending them lack energy.
They're feeling that, and it's repelling them.
Irresistible energy is about letting go of the need
to control how someone else feels
and letting go of thinking that someone else
is gonna be like your key to happiness.
A lot of times this has to do, as well,
with being attached to the outcome.
We're attached to the outcome because we think
that if we get someone else's validation or support,
we're closing a loop in our childhood wound,
and the key to this is realizing you are good either way.
You're good whether they come on the date with you or not.
You're good, whether they text you or not,
but the thing to become aware of here,
is what is the deeper thing,
The deeper story that's trying to be fulfilled?
Because I used to feel so unworthy
if someone didn't text me back.
I would internalize it,
and the thing to realize is if somebody's not choosing you.
you don't have to internalize it.
It doesn't mean you're not good enough.
It may mean there's a story there that says,
people don't choose me,
but as you become aware of these stories,
you begin to neutralize the energy,
and as you stop engaging to say, oh,
I need this for somebody else or I need that,
you start to neutralize the energy.
So, become aware and do an audit
of your own energy and how you feel
and simply focus on having more fun.
That makes you irresistible, having more fun.
How do you have more fun?
You choose to be yourself and you lighten up.
You don't look at this, like I have to attract love.
I'm this age.
And I need to attract love by this age and have kids
by this age, you put all that pressure on yourself,
you're creating resistance,
and it's literally creating a block in your energy field.
But think about it.
If you see someone out at night
and they're just having fun with their friends
and they they're not attached to whether
you like them or not.
That's way more attractive than someone's, like, oh,
I hope this person really likes me.
They're like over in their head thinking about
every little interaction that they've had with somebody,
and they're hoping they text them back,
like, that energy butchers it.
Have fun, loosen up.
Whatever's meant to be, will be,
and if you trust the process, that really helps too.
At least that's what I found.
Now, the third part of this process has to do
with understanding some people will leave,
and saying they never want to leave.
I mean, do you want to attract a narcissist
and have them never leave?
I'll tell you that would be a big trap.
That'd be a huge trap to do that.
So, you want certain people to leave
because you have a certain standard
for who you are and how you show up in the world.
So, think about this.
A lot of times people that have the abandonment wound
as well, they attract emotionally unavailable partners,
people that aren't emotionally choosing them,
and aren't emotionally there for them
because that feels safer
because when two to seven years old,
you may have had people in your family
that were not emotionally available and that feels normal.
So, when talking about, they never leave,
realize that this is about choosing emotional availability
over the dopamine addiction that may come
from people that don't choose you
because you're trying to prove that you're worthy.
So, you want certain people to leave your life.
You want crazy sociopaths, narcissists?
I mean, there's certain people
you don't wanna attract, right?
And that's okay.
But when you're being the real you,
and you're looking at your own level
of emotional availability, that was a big trigger for me.
As I thought, people in my life
were emotionally unavailable, not knowing
that I was emotionally unavailable,
and I had normalized lack
of emotional availability for myself.
So, the reason I share this with you
is because the more you open up your heart,
the more vulnerable you become, it will be more attractive
and more irresistible to the right people,
but it will not be attractive to certain people
that don't want to go there with you emotionally.
But what I'm trying to do is help you break out
of the cycle, break out of the patterns
of attracting the same people over and over again.
And you do that the more you choose yourself,
the more you open your heart,
the more you look at your own abandonment issues,
maybe even from two to seven years old,
but you just become aware of it,
and then you stop abandoning yourself.
You start being yourself because you being you
is the most irresistible you, you could be.
Now, a big part of this too, is confidence.
How confident are you?
Confident, literally means to trust,
and when you trust yourself, you can then show up
in the world in a very bold way,
and that makes you even more irresistible.
Now, something we're gonna be doing on July 1st
to the 21st is a 21 day confidence challenge.
If you wanna wire in ultimate confidence,
if you wanna let go of fear and doubt,
if you wanna let go of codependent patterns,
if you wanna learn how to be in your own frame of reality,
then now is the best time to join
the 21 day confidence challenge.
You can go right now, click the link below
in the description box or go to aarondoughty.com/confidence.
Aarondoughty.com/confidence for the early bird special
on this 21 day transformative challenge.
I've had over 10,000 people go through
the 21 day challenges I've done before.
I've done it on Raising Vibration, Magnetic Love, Abundance.
Now, we're doing it on Confidence.
So, if you haven't joined those yet, go to that link.
Join now, is the best time to join.
We start July 1st to the 21st.
I can't wait for that.
Now, also, if you want to heal the abandonment wound
and look at that more, there's a video right here
that will help you do that,
that will completely change your life,
and help you have even more irresistible energy.
So, click it right here.
The side effects of the abandonment wound is
that we will do anything we can to gain the approval
and the validation of other people,
and it's because we're not drawing that validation from self
because as a kid, we weren't given that
or we weren't taught.