LADIES AND GENTLEMEN -- ADAM SANDLER.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> THANK YOU, VERY MUCH. I APPRECIATE IT.
THANK YOU, GUYS. I LOVE YOU.
I REALLY APPRECIATE THAT. THANKS SO MUCH.
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M
BACK AT "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" AFTER ALL THIS TIME.
IT'S BEEN A TREMENDOUS WEEK. I LOVED SEEING ALL OF MY OLD
FRIENDS HERE, MAKING LOTS OF NEW FRIENDS WITH THE WRITERS AND THE
CAST HERE. IT'S GREAT TO BE AROUND THEIR
YOUTHFUL ENERGY. WHEN I FIRST GOT HERE TO THE
SHOW, I WAS 23 YEARS OLD, AND DAVID SPADE AND ROB SCHNEIDER
WERE 25 YEARS OLD, AND NORM McDONALD
WAS I THINK, 60 YEARS OLD. I DON'T KNOW.
I NEVER ASKED HIM. I DON'T THINK HE KNOWS.
BUT I HAD SOME OF THE BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE HERE.
AND I ACTUALLY LOST MY VIRGINITY TO A WOMAN
HERE IN THIS VERY STUDIO. THANK YOU.
I DON'T KISS AND TELL, BUT IT WAS THE
CHURCH LADY, SHE SAID I WAS SPECIAL.
MY WIFE AND KIDS ARE HERE TONIGHT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] I ALWAYS TELL THOSE GUYS THAT
WHEN I WAS ON "SNL," IT WAS LIKE THE GREATEST TIME IN MY LIFE AND
MY DAUGHTER ASKED ME, "IF IT WAS THE GREATEST, DAD, WHY DID YOU
EVER LEAVE?" WELL, HONEY, THERE'S A REASON.
I WAS FIRED I WAS FIRED
I GOT FIRED BY SNL BETWEEN SEASONS
THE SACK I TRIED TO CALL
>> I'M JOKING, I'M JOKING.
HE CALLED, HE CALLED.
ENOUGH OF CRAZY SPOON HEAD AND THE SONGS I
SICK OF CANTEEN BOY BUT I THINK THEY
NOT REHIRED
WELL, IT MADE ME SAD
I GOT FIRED AND HE SAID
SAME MAN
>> CHRIS ROCK. CHRIS ROCK IS HERE.
HEY, BUDDY. I LOVE YOU.
>> HOW'S IT GOING? >> WE WORKED ON THIS SHOW
TOGETHER, RIGHT? >> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
WE GOT HIRED THE SAME DAY. >> THAT'S RIGHT.
WE WERE IN THE SAME CAST. >> YEAH.
>> WHY DID YOU LEAVE THE SHOW? I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
>> WHY DID I LEAVE THE SHOW? WELL, ADAM --
ON
>> THAT'S RIGHT, I REMEMBER.
YOU KEEP GOING AFTER YOUR DREAM. HEY, HOW YOU DOING, PAL?
>> HEY, HEY, HEY. YOU WEREN'T FIRED.
>> I WASN'T? HOW'S THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?
>> I DON'T KNOW, MAN. YOU JUST BE PATIENT 'CAUSE IT'S
COMING SOON. I LOVE YOU.
[ APPLAUSE ]
HEART TO PIECES
'CAUSE "SNL" WAS
MY SILLY VOICES NOW
I NEVER FELT SO ALONE
NBC SAID THAT
I WAS DONE
AT THE BOX OFFICE
SO I GUESS YOU COULD
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
BUT TONIGHT
I'M REHIRED
'CAUSE IT FEELS
SO GOOD TO BE
HERE TONIGHT
FOR ME RIGHT HERE ON
>> WE GOT A GREAT SHOW. SHAWN MENDES IS HERE.
STICK AROUND. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.