This video is about "How to Handle People who Hurt You" Stick around to the end of this video
as I will reveal the best steps to take in handling a person who has indeed hurt you
Welcome to The SCG Show! The SCG Show is officially sponsored by
BetterHelp! The link to BetterHelp is in the description down below
If you're watching this video I can be sure it's for good reason. That good reason is that you've
been unfortunately hurt by someone. It's a terrible feeling it really is... like a sucker punch that
blindsides you.... anyone can hurt us which again is a very sad reality too... it could be close friends
it could be family, someone we're dating, our spouse, our children, someone you work with or for... hurting
doesn't discriminate. Anyone who is anyone can hurt us with their actions, words, lies, deceit etc
Some do so intentionally... they go out of their way to wind us up, push our buttons,
make us feel hurt, upset and cry... some let their anger and frustration out at us treating us
like an emotional punching bag assuming we can take it... some hurt us without realizing almost
they just assume we can take it and it's normal to experience the hate...
I've been hurt many times and in many ways and probably I've hurt people along the way
My life as an empath and someone who really does have an emotional sensitive side, I feel
very alone when I get hurt the world is crashing down on me... I lose my confidence and self-esteem
it's like that one moment has brought me to my knees as I deal with the pain and realization
of it all. I feel very alone and even if I talk it through with someone who emphasizes and can relate
it still doesn't make a difference straight away... because this is my pain... this is my
hurting... so therefore it's up to me and me alone to do something about it aka to handle
the person. I was never really truly educated on how I had to handle people that hurt me growing up
I just used to react, lose my cool, or cry my eyes out...Fortunately now I know a lot more on
the better way to deal with it. Here is how to handle people who hurt you... If you're enjoying
this video please hit the like button for the YouTube algorithm and support my channel
by becoming an official member! The link for memberships is in the description just down below
The biggest mistake you can make when you've been hurt is reaching out to close friends and family
and trying to share your scenario... you'll open up your wounds and express your dismay
you'll say "they really hurt me... i'm so hurt...I cannot believe they did that...
my heart is utterly broken...I've never felt so betrayed.... I just feel so low." Unsure and certainly
untrained medically and professionally in how to react, our loved ones will give us such throwaway
comments like "you'll get over it... don't let it get you down.... this is life... people are mean... you're
better than them.... oh they're saying that because they're jealous of you...." Although they're trying to
help and of course be supportive, truthfully do those sort of comments ever really help?
No. Do you magically stop hurting and stop being upset? Maybe for a short while but mainly no...
This is your hurt... I know you want to vent and look for clarity and support from others around you
and maybe even on forums, online etc, but this is your hurt... how you are feeling is the most
important aspect here... not how someone else interprets your hurt... recognize the offense, analyze
it... what exactly are you most hurt about here? Recently someone hurt me badly, they never invited
me to a very special event for no reason... I wasn't included... when I finally discovered that I was not
invited, I actually felt crushed because I assumed we were really close friends, but clearly that was
not the case and I had been quite disrespected. So the first step is to recognize your hurt
specifically in that case that I assume we were close but actually we obviously were not and don't
try to recognize how other people interpret how you're hurting or about what you're hurting about...
Your mental health is very important to me which is why I'd love to tell you about my
official sponsor BetterHelp! I've personally used BetterHelp and found it so effective for turning
my life around for the better. It's an online portal that provides direct to consumer access
to behavioral health services. The online counseling and therapy services
are provided through web-based interaction such as phone and text communication
it's like therapy on the go! You get four live sessions a month and unlimited messaging in
between sessions as well as access to group therapy webinars which are updated
each and every week. You can sign up for the BetterHelp online counseling service in the
description down below. By using that link you'll be supporting this channel and i'll give you 10%
off your first month too. Turn your life around with BetterHelp! The link's just down below!
What I'm about to suggest may be deemed as controversial but in my opinion vital
for handling someone who hurt you... that's to categorize them... put them in a certain category
you may still see this person, work with them, have to endure them in some capacity
but either way whatever the circumstance is you're better off putting them in a particular category
that way you can protect yourself from being hurt as badly ever again. A friend of mine really let
me down and was not supportive when I lost my father to illness a few years ago... he was selfish
lacked compassion and had no empathy... it hurt me as he was rather close to me before losing my dad
Long story short he hurt me... I thought we were best friends, we had each other's back
but clearly he was selfish, unreliable and just not very compassionate... So I mentally took him
off the pedestal and category of a friend as I thought he was and I brought him down to more
of an acquaintance... someone I'd see from time to time... someone I knew I could not rely upon
someone I could not trust... somebody I used to care for but nowhere near as much as I used to
and I just decided to put him in that sort of category of "he's there
that's it." Recently he hurt me again by acting selfish when I was going through a tough time
once more but I recognize and realize that this is just how he acted.... so he was in the lower category
where he could not hurt me as much as he used to. Hhe's someone I know... someone I don't take seriously
and so on. For example if a stranger comes up to you and starts hurling insults and trying to
upset you... be honest would you really care? No because you don't know them... you don't
care for them... it's a stranger... it's actually someone very weird abusing you for no reason
I treat certain people like this who hurt me... yes we might have been best friends... yes we might have
gone through life experiences together, if they act in a certain way that I don't agree with, I will
categorize them as strangers almost or people that I used to know but I no longer care for...
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So a person has hurt you, brought you down for whatever reason... you're upset... miserable
and depressed and low... Bnefore I reveal what to do I'm going to suggest several ways to heal yourself
A few years back i'll never forget being so hurt and humiliated by someone close they lashed out
insulted me...I didn't deserve it... I'll never comprehend how and why it happened... I'm not
perfect, I'm flawed but it was a personal attack and out of the blue and rude. The day afterwards
I was depressed, I'd lost all confidence but knew I had to take steps to heal. First I did no contact
I found it disgusting how they spoke to me and decided to go no-contact indefinitely...I never
wished to speak with them, until the dust settled... after some time they tried reaching out, calling
texting, emailing...I didn't want to know, I refused to talk. It was my way of standing up for myself
which restored some self-esteem inside me and healed me as well. I then spent the next few weeks
going all in on people who loved and appreciated me. I wanted to laugh, I wanted to matter, I wanted to
talk, I wanted a hug and be appreciated. Slowly and eventually my confidence came back after it had
been destroyed by the person who hurt me and then I sought knowledge, I read books, watched lectures
educated myself on dealing with harmful negative hurtful people... I saw answers and the answers gave
me the confidence to understand more and more that some people are just mean, nasty and hurtful
but it's also not my job or role to lay down and take their abuse or tolerate them in any capacity
I healed believe it or not rather quickly... despite how personal and hurtful that attack was and then
eventually incredibly I forgave them because I'm better than that and so are you. You're
better than the hate... the negativity... the abuse and so on...that's what true healing really is
I'm pretty sure your blood is boiling with rage, i know you want to tell them how you really feel
that's fine... there's a time and a place to confront a person... under any circumstance trust me
but here is what not to do, especially to the people who've hurt you = Don't cause a scene, perhaps
you want to confront them in public at their work, what will that achieve? You're better than
that... please don't stoop down to their level and embarrass yourself and regret it in the process
Next don't numb yourself with vices... as a former addict the last thing you want
to do is over indulge in things that are toxic, smoking, drinking etc....you can become
very reliant on vices poison that's not going to help you in the long run and when you
overindulge you're more likely to act and react in ways that you are going to massively regret
Next don't fixate for too long.... there's no set period for feeling hurt, it can last a day,
a week, even a lifetime but you must eventually accept and make peace with it
You must accept the true reality of the situation.... time is a healer and over time
even though you don't see it now things will and do typically get easier more manageable and better....